Good Show Sir - Only the worst Sci-fi/Fantasy book covers

Jan 19

Sector General

Is that an alien turducken? Click for larger image

Ryan Comments: Is the first of the stories about restraining a gigantic alien and performing multiple amputations, in space?

Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 7.75 out of 10)

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Tagged with: A Del Rey Book • Ballantine Books • David Mattingly • font problems • James White • space cadets • space ship • strange creature • strapping outfit

Jul 09

Mute

A Piers Anthony mute button? Splendid idea! Click for larger image

Alice Comments: I can’t keep track of who all the hands belong to.

Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 9.00 out of 10)

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Tagged with: Avon Books • busy hands • conch • damsel • dude • Luis Royo • moons • ocean • Piers Anthony • puffy shirt • sailing • shoulder pads • strange creature • strapping outfit • thighmaster • thong

May 02

Brigands of the Moon

No, not Brigadoon Click for larger image

Murray Comments: There is just so much going on wrong here.

Published 1931

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 8.82 out of 10)

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Tagged with: beret hat • cape • dude • fight club • font problems • handguns • J. Allen St. John • Ray Cummings • strapping outfit • WTF

Mar 14

Search for the Starblade

The Dannyboys: Book Three Click for larger image

Bibliomancer Comments: “After we find the Starblade the future of Ireland will be trouble-free!”

Published 1990

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 8.38 out of 10)

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Tagged with: Ace Books • bladed weapons • compass • Dean Morrissey • dude • framed cover art • harp • Keith Taylor • Luck of the Irish • map • mighty moustache • pigtails • shields • strapping outfit

Aug 30

Honourable Mentions 19

We have here a trio of Honourable Mentions since these are e-books and technically not being photographed sitting in our sweaty hands. But the “publisher” Phoenix Pick informs us that you can own an actual dead-tree book version of the same. The odds are vanishingly small that any book versions of these titles would ever be found in what few book stores still exist. So let’s have our fun with these e-book pix nicked from the Intertubes. I see some vestige of an artist signature on one of these. Go figure. But none of my usual sources gives any hint who they might be. So Unknown Artist Institute it is.

Is that you Fairy-Peg? Click for larger image

She came in through the bathroom window ... Click for larger image

I now pronounce you husband and waif Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments:

1. He-man and Cat-in-the-Hat take on flaming Gummi-Bear monster.

2. Stop wearing the chamois, son. I’ve got to dry the car.

3. Don’t think you’re setting a foot outside wearing that strapping outfit!

Published 2012

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 9.00 out of 10)

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Tagged with: beard-wielding • boats • books on the covers of books • damsel • Dancing Gods Series • dude • fairy • fire • Honourable Mentions • Jack L. Chalker • muscles • old-timer • Phoenix Pick • strange creature • strapping outfit • top hat • Unknown Artist Institute • waistcoat

May 24

The Sword of Calandra

A sword-id tale! Click for full image

JuanPaul Comments: I CAN HAZ LOST SWORD?

Published 1985

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 7.09 out of 10)

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Tagged with: A Del Rey Book • Ballantine Adult Fantasy • castle • Cats! • damsel • dress for success • dude • Haircut 100 • Rowena Morrill • strapping outfit • Susan Dexter • sword

Feb 24

Autumn Angels

Alright, we all turned up to sell out. Now where's my money?! Click for full image

Good Show Sir Comments: Not sure what makes me more curious: Hawkman… or the incredibly stoned Mickey Mouse.
Published 1975

Many thanks to Chris for sending this in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 7.14 out of 10)

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Tagged with: Arthur Byron Cover • baldness • beak! • bird people • booties • fancy hat • Harlan Ellison • mouse people • muscles • pig people • Pyramid Books • Ron Cobb • Smirky McSmug • strapping outfit • suits you • talons • wings • WTF

Feb 06

Cycle of Nemesis

Extra foam buttle wash... all the monsters loved it! Click for full image

Scott Comments: A lone hero stands off against… the Abominable Snowman with prosthetic jackhammer hands???
Published 1967

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 8.77 out of 10)

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Tagged with: Ace Books • dude • frickin laser beams • Kelly Freas • Kenneth Bulmer • monsters • once you see it • strapping outfit • teeth

Jan 31

Pyramid Power

When attacked by dragons, use PYRAMID POWER double strength! Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: The helmet wings! They do nothing!
Published 2007

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 7.68 out of 10)

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Tagged with: Baen Books • Bob Eggleton • booties • Dave Freer • dragon • dude • Eric Flint • font problems • glowing eyes • male skirts • mountains • muscles • pyramids • strapping outfit • the tiniest sledgehammer • wings

Nov 08

The Enchantress of World’s End

He may wear a cape... but he was the best giant eyebrow plucker in the land! Click for full image

Dead Stuff with Big Teeth Comments:Whaddaya think? I hewed her cheeks meself.
Published 1975

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!

I would touch it without protective gloves.

I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.

Interesting, but I would still read it in public.

Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully good

Would not like to be seen reading that!

Awful... just awful...

That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!

Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!

Good Show Sir!

(Average: 7.17 out of 10)

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Tagged with: BEHIND YOU! • bladed weapons • capes • city • cleavage • damsel • DAW Books • dude • headband • Lin Carter • loincloth • long haired men • Michael Whelan • muscles • once you see it • strapping outfit • sun • sword • Ting!

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