May 10

Get into that ship or you'll have to sleep with the fat ewok!Click for full image

Hex Comments: The guy on the left is a sort of expert undercover first contact agent, whose job is to alter the course of developing cultures on newly-discovered worlds to suit the needs of Earth. How he manages to do it while being chafed by that jockstrap I will never understand. Sometimes I gaze at the Yeti in a jumper while I try to figure it out.

Incidentally, this book is spattered with grimly bad black and white illustrations that completely contradict the style of the cover. Nice work, Ace!

Excellent! Thanks Hex!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.31 out of 10)

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32 Responses to “Pro”

  1. Phil Says:

    Good to see Harry (of HARRY AND THE HENDERSONS) again!

    And what is it with these cover artists and their medieval approach to perspective?

  2. Adam Roberts Says:

    It’s not the sort of cover you’d immediately associate with a book about a prostitute.

  3. SophaLoaf Says:

    “Old man, why can’t you be more that satellite over there? It’s been done with all of its reaping for days!”, says the overseeing man with the iron banana hammock.
    “I’ll show you who’s slow”, growled the yeti, picking up his tool as he gets ready to attack.

  4. SI Says:

    “And I’ll be telling you, SIR, I ain’t doing no digging without my hand moisturiser.”

    What frightens me is that yeti seems to be wearing an 80’s low cut jumper and leg warmers. It’s not like it could be cold with all that hair… that means it either sweats a lot… or is wearing them for seduction… *Shutters*

  5. James Lovegrove Says:

    Pro? I’m anti.

    Arf arf.

  6. little mi Says:

    I can’t think of a single thing about that spaceman’s outfit that isn’t wrong. It is just all wrong! All of it!!

  7. DeadRobot Says:

    “Please! You have to get me back to my Forced Perspective Machine”! The fate of my costume depends on it!

  8. Don Hilliard Says:

    It’s a Space Munchkin! Obviously the old fellow in the foreground was in that ship, which landed on the Wicked Witch of the Outer Spiral Arm, and the Munchkin is pointing out the Yellow Brick Road (which is made of uranium) just off-screen.

    And the Yeti is actually Toto.

    And now we know why Munchkins have squeaky voices: they carry their blasters pointing directly at their wedding tackle.

  9. Lauren F. Says:

    Is that a metal sombrero on the spaceman’s back? Or maybe it’s his trusty jetpack. Hope that blaster doesn’t go off accidentally. But maybe that’s why the jockstrap: for protection from blaster malfunctions.

  10. CSA Says:

    @Adam, Prostitute was definately my first thought when i saw all those hoes.

  11. thered2000 Says:

    This book does little to self-promote: the best thing the cover designers could find to say is that the author is one of the greatest living science fiction authors. (Strong words indeed in 1978 when just about all the greats were alive.)

  12. Tom Noir Says:

    Question: was the follow-up novel entitled ‘Con’?

  13. Ron Obvious Says:

    The sequel should be “Phylactic.” Ah, yeti-in-jumper, God bless your awesomeness.

  14. e.lee Says:

    thought the follow-up was called “-Lapse”?

    @Lauren the thing on his back maybe a pointy based wok- stir-frying in zero G is always troublesome.

  15. Bookworm Bas Says:

    Obviously another dire cover but Dickson wrote a good yarn. His Dorsai series is quite good.

  16. Brian B Says:

    Looking at the old man being harangued by the space man, I can’t help but think the old man is about to shout “Help, help I’m being repressed!”

    But I do like the look of utter resigned contempt in the old man’s eyes. I wonder if the artist was inspired by the look in Dickson’s eyes after the artist explained his concept for the cover art.

  17. Hex Says:

    The old man is a minor character in the book. I really have no idea why the artist (“Benvenuti”) chose to make him take up a whole quarter of the cover.

    Oh wait, maybe because he only really occurs in the first part of the book, thus neatly demonstrating how much of it Benvenuti bothered to read!

  18. Sorcha Says:

    Space Guy: “Look at my rocket, Grizzly Adams! LOOK AT IT!”
    Yeti: “Really, it’s totally sweet, dude. You should so look at it.”

  19. Boo-urns Says:

    Space Inca: “I’ve traveled halfway across the universe in that NASA reject of a ship to put an end to your pot growing operation! “Cause I’m a PRO!”

    Elderly Gay Man: “Well gosh sailor, lighten up will ya? I could just cry, you’re so down on my butt…”

    Skunk Ape: “Me start to fling me own poop now!”

  20. Boo-urns Says:

    Also, the prequel was called “Rank Amateurs.”

  21. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Chewbacca has let himself go.

  22. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Good to see old “Gord” again, still out standing in his field with the Yeti and the most over-armored space jockey ever to navigate the cargo run to Arcturus IV. Those pouches on his utility belt look like sad little faces, resigned to their fate on this cover.

  23. B. Chiclitz Says:

    And that space gun is clearly on a hair trigger. The blast-back if it goes off will create an embarrassing wound. I’m not sure what the other weapon is supposed to be, but it looks like a space dildo.

  24. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “Look old man, that’s a spaceship over there!”

    “Go away and stop bothering me, obvious hallucination. I don’t believe in the yeti in leg warmers and I don’t believe in you.”

  25. THX 1139 Says:

    Utterly Beneath the Planet of the Apes.

  26. JuanPaul Says:

    “Bruh! The kegger capsule just landed, let’s get this harvest festival started!”

  27. Tat Wood Says:

    ‘You can run, Mr Assange, but you can’t hide forever’.

  28. fred Says:

    Kris Kristofferson kontemplating kukumbers and karrots.

  29. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @BC: Literally out standing in his field. A field of his own. Thank goodness/it’s amazing they didn’t use that blurb. Although neither of the guys (or the yeti) look like Dickson.

    The little pouches look like alarmed faces to me, so I think they’re reacting in horror to the rocket jockey’s zap gun placement.

    I doubt any of us would blame the farmer for ignoring the over-armored chap with terrible blaster storage. Best not to make eye contact with crazy.

    @JP: heh.

    @Tat: I’d no idea the Ecuadorean embassy had sasquatch. Also, 1) he’s too neatly groomed 2) he’s doing manual labor, which Jules never would. He’s an ideas man.

    @fred: Good one. 90% Kristofferson, 10% Jon Voight.

  30. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tag W: If there ever was a perfect cover for “old man take a look at my life”, this is it!

    Might even be what the guy in the armor is saying.

  31. Tat Wood Says:

    @GSSxN (29): He’s not actually doing work, he’s striking a pose. That’s pretty much his thing.

  32. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tat: Ah yes, pretending to be a simple man of the people while others slave away and the authorities are after him. I withdraw all objections.

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