Jul 08

Hmm yes, what a lovely gift...actually seriously, what the hell is it?Click for full image

Lauren Comments: The expressions on their faces have always bothered me–is he thinking about smashing her head with that statue? Is she considering using the trapdoor to dump him in a garbage pit?
Published 1991

Many thanks to Lauren!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.38 out of 10)

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19 Responses to “The Pharaoh Contract”

  1. Adam Roberts Says:

    ‘As you can see, doctor, there’s something very wrong with my stool …’

  2. anon Says:

    “So nice to finally meet you, mr. Bond.”

  3. DeadRobot Says:

    Helen Mirren will sit for anything.

  4. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    “The kingdom is yours…if you can use that knickknack to steady my credenza.”

  5. SI Says:

    “this is nothing like your pictures on eBay.”

  6. Seamyst Says:

    He looks like Val Kilmer.

  7. SophaLoaf Says:

    Val Kilmer to Alien elderly woman: “Was Top Gun really that big on your planet that you present me with this award?”

  8. Tom Noir Says:

    Now a Major Motion Picture starring Christian Slater.

  9. Tommi Says:

    She is wondering if he can find out WHAT the thing in his hand is and what it is used FOR and HOW.

    The answer is NSFW. Absolutely.

    Now would someone please get those pictures out of my head?

  10. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Val Kilmer Lookalike: “That’s a nice friendship gift, thank you… what does this button do… HEY! This gizmo vibrates!”

    Alien [snickers]: “April Fools!”

  11. e.lee Says:

    “I recommend this product to your people. To help maintain your quiffs”

  12. John T Says:

    Nice to see Nancy Reagan getting work.

  13. M. Bouffant Says:

    Good one, John T!

    I thought there were horns growing out of her head, but it’s just the back of her stupid alien back-to-the-porthole-so-you-can-see-the-stars/planet chair. Sad.

  14. DW Says:

    I am David Boreanaz, outer space art appraiser.

  15. Tom Noir Says:

    “Pharaoh, Pharaoh! Oh, baby, let Val Kilmer go. Yeah yeah yeah yeah.”

  16. Tat Wood Says:

    I’ve spent ten minutes trying to make a ‘Comet Lovejoy’ joke work.

    Happy 2015.

  17. Emster Says:

    … starring a young Jeff Bridges and E.T.’s mom!
    (but, yeah, I could totally see Val, Christian or David – those pouty movie guys…)

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Emster: It’s like a low budget movie that couldn’t afford Val, Christian, David, or Jeff, so they got the non-union Mexican equivalent for both star and director.


  19. JJYoyo Says:

    With pseudo-Val Kilmer the cover looks like Real Genius meets Antiques Roadshow…. In spaaace!
    “What do you mean it’s only worth 100 quadloos ? I ought to vaporize your planet, you monkey rug merchant!”

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