Aug 05

Hamster? Gerbil? F*ck.. I don't know what he is either Officer Spider Creature.Click for full image

Nathan Comments: Timothy Zahn has a winner with the giant spider bouncy ball, peasant Tasha Yar, and a gopher mercenary? Oh and eye straining font!
Published 2006

Could this be a first? Man-gerbil?
Many thanks to Nathan!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.12 out of 10)

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30 Responses to “Night Train to Rigel”

  1. cutmanmike Says:

    This one reeks of standard Sci-fi nonsense

  2. SI Says:

    Looks like the dude has some good bum fluff on his top lip. Then again it could be shadow. I like to think he’s a teenager.

  3. SFHL Says:

    Scuse me…is this the right train to Nigel?

  4. Phil Says:

    The woman is trying to sneak in a bit of Robin Hood costume at the back there. I bet that leather strap attaches to a quiver.

  5. Brian B Says:

    I’m always leery about book endorsements that include the rather odd adjective “readable.” Surely there must be something one could say that is a little stronger and more descriptive than, “well you can read it.” For some reason reminds me of a line from Crocodile Dundee, “Well you can live on it, but it tastes like sh*t”

  6. Wyatt Allen Says:

    For what it’s worth, this is a really fun book.

  7. NGpm Says:

    @Brian: it says “highly readable.” Does that mean you’d have to be high to read it?

  8. SI Says:

    Wyatt Allen> It has a man-gerbil in it! How can this book not be fun! 🙂

    Brian NGpm> I am pretty sure highly readable means it’s written in glow in the dark yellow ink.

  9. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @NGpm–you must be so high to ride the Night Train! With Edward James Olmos, no less.

  10. jimmay Says:

    Excuse me miss, I can see your beaver.

  11. Tom Noir Says:

    By odd coincidence, I just read this. The cover pretty much tells you what you’re going to get: metal spiders, stand-offish women and alien squirrel-people.

  12. Simon Says:

    I do believe that’s a Jim Burns artwork.

  13. A.R.Yngve Says:

    That guy needs to loosen up. He’s rigid as a board. Back pains, maybe?

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “He was trapped between the author’s name and the title — and he had to get out!”

  15. Esser-Z Says:

    This cover is actually entirely accurate–except, IIRC, for the woman’s hair.

    The book is, however, very fun.

  16. Zycrow Says:

    Off-topic; Esser-Z…you post on Allspark, don’t you?

  17. Rev Says:

    @A.R. Yngve – he is very loosened up. There is actually a second man-gerbil in this scene. What do you suppose the others are looking at?

  18. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Rev: Richard Gere?

    (yes, I know, it’s merely an urban legend…)

  19. Tom Noir Says:

    Notably missing from the cover illustration: A TRAIN.

    Artist: “Trains are hard to draw. I’ll just do some white lines and do a space gerbil dressed like a man. Hopefully it will distract the viewer.”

  20. Bibliomancer Says:

    The title might refer to this Night Train:

    They are obviously a bunch of alcoholics. Especially that little ratboy.

  21. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Tom: the train is at the bottom of the cover. Where it’s black. Because IT’S NIGHTTIME. AND YOU CAN’T SEE A BLOODY THING. 🙂

  22. anon Says:

    “Light Training Rote” by Zany Hitmoth
    “Beginners’ easy drill. Part high-pace, part sedate. All real. Grab it.” — Hapi O’Rook

  23. B. Chiclitz Says:


  24. Ray P Says:

    Well I’m a west coast struttin’ one bad mother
    Got a rattlesnake suitcase, under my arm
    Said I’m a mean machine been drinkin’ gasoline
    And honey you can make my motor hum

    Well I got one chance left in a nine live cat
    I got a dog eat dog sly smile
    I got a Molotov cocktail with a match to go
    I smoke my cigarette with style

    An I can tell you honey
    You can make my money tonight

    Wake up late honey put on your clothes
    And take your credit card to the liquor store
    That’s one for you and two for me by tonight

    I’ll be loaded like a freight train
    Flyin’ like an aeroplane
    Feelin’ like a space brain
    One more time tonight

    I’m on the nightrain, bottoms up
    I’m on the nightrain, fill my cup
    I’m on the nightrain
    Ready to crash and burn, I never learn

    I’m on the nightrain, I love that stuff
    I’m on the nightrain, I can never get enough
    I’m on the nightrain, never to return, no

    — Guns ‘N Roses – Night train

    The amazing sequel to Drunk & Disorderly at Deneb.

  25. GSS ex-noob Says:

    He’s leaving (leaving)
    On the oh, Night Train to Rigel
    He’s goin’ back to find (goin’ back to find)
    The gerbil folk he left behind…


  26. GSS ex-noob Says:

    This was my Random Terrible Cover just now. Came back to make sure I’d done the song.

    Am sad there aren’t more gerbil people to use the tag on. OTOH, if this is the same universe as “Night on the Galactic Railroad”, they may have all been eaten by the giant cat people.

  27. JuanPaul Says:

    This cover has resting-bitch-face x 3. And on a hamster, no less.

  28. Innocent Bystander Says:

    This popped up as my random terrible cover and my first thought was to ask the husband if he remembered seeing anything like this while on the Nighttrain. But upon reflection I decided he probably didn’t remember anything but the hangover the next day. Although it might explain why he and the boys switched to Thunderbird. A vision like this cover would make anyone think twice about what they were drinking.

  29. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I’d rather live in his world
    With gerbils, than spiders in mine


    leavin’ (leavin’) on that ol’ night train to Rigel…

    Couple more years and I may have the whole song!

  30. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Spider-ball, spider-ball
    Simply amazing spider-ball…

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