Aug 12

Gorack! Stop making sweet love to my throne and help be kill tiny people!Click for full image

Kevin’s Art Direction
Creative Director:
Ok, so here’s the deal.
Artist: oh boy…
CD: I want hands coming up from the fires of hell begging for tiny people, a big throne or something and possibly some random Greek god-type things laughing it up.
Artist: oh boy…
CD: The boss just saw Iron Eagle and totally dug the font on that one. OH! And he just bought a new helicopter, so if you could throw that in everything will be great.
Published 1987

Amazing find!
Many thanks to Kevin!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.04 out of 10)

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18 Responses to “Kings in Hell”

  1. Adam Roberts Says:

    Those are proper Kingly legs. Do you think he shaves, or waxes?

  2. Deborah Says:

    I like the disco floor – or is that supposed to be a BBQ grill, lit by the fires of hell?

    and are the tiny people falling from the red-tunic guy’s hand normal-people size? if so, are the hands poking up through the disco floor giants’ hands? deposed former kings of hell? (those supplicating hands are about the same size as red-tunic guy’s hands)

    or are they a race of tiny people – Borrowers, perhaps – who’ve tragically fallen into a special hell run by a red-tunic-wearing guy with really amazing quadriceps? (maybe he’s a retired speed skater – they tend to have awesome quads – and he’d appreciate the warmth of the hell-fires after all that time whizzing around on ice)

  3. Herm Says:

    One’d imagine wax would be hazardous in that kind of environment.

    Not as hazardous as the heli falling out of the sky onto his head. That’s evidently happened more than once, which would explain his lack of neck.

  4. SI Says:

    I’m pretty sure sitting on a stone throne would give even the most manly of kings, piles.

    And he’s got a tiny wee head.

  5. John T Says:

    Ah now, there’s a word for this, when the author name and title run together like this.

    “CJ Cherryh and Janet Morris, Kings in Hell!”

  6. Jon P Says:

    The title’s too long. Should just be ‘King Hell.

  7. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Concerning the folk at either side. Taurus seems to be trying to tip the font over onto Waxy Disco Devil, doesn’t he? Maybe he fancies becoming Minotaur King of Hell himself. But on the other side, Diabolo seems to be…er…emotionally attached to the font. As well as belting out a version of “Forever My Baby” or some such.

  8. Cross Says:

    All of the “in Hell” books have horrid covers. (There are like 12 of them)

  9. NGpm Says:

    Disco King totally has a “who wears short shorts” pose going on there.

  10. Nix Says:

    John T, that should be Queens in Hell, surely?

  11. John T Says:

    Nix – the cover art might give that impression.

    Actually, it looks more like Frankie’s Relax In Hell.

  12. SophaLoaf Says:

    What? He’s just a typical mexican wrestler.

  13. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Now THAT’s a Disco Inferno.

  14. Tom Noir Says:

    If our resident greek god had been holding an electric guitar instead of a trident, I would have given this a 10 without a second thought.

  15. Morgan C Says:

    The scary part is, the cover is a pretty accurate representation of the contents.

  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The taglines practically write themselves for covers like these:

    “It was a slow news day… IN HELL!!”

    “They fought with snowballs… IN HELL!!”

    “John McCain was invited to a Navy disco dance… and found himself IN HELL!!”

  17. Anna T. Says:

    The Disco King looks like a hybrid between Xerxes from “300” and Bane from Batman. Which does nothing whatsoever for the “quality” of this cover.

  18. DaveM Says:

    Disco King: “And then the bartender says, ‘it’s easy, that’s not my duck!’. Thank you, thank you, I’ll be here all week. Now later in the show I might need a volunteer from the audience to escape the eternal flames and come up here, let’s see a show of hands.”

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