Nov 12

Not to worry my lord! I'll shave this... HIPPY... with my sword!Click for full image

Art Direction: You know when facial hair becomes so intense it actually takes over your head? Well exactly like that, also with an evil blue guy and a king. Oh and a princess! And a guy with a sword! Ah, just put everything on there within a glorious yellow boarder!
Published 2001

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.74 out of 10)

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18 Responses to “The Dark Lord’s Demise”

  1. SI Says:

    You know.. there isn’t enough tv-shows set in medieval times anymore.

    That beard is epic! It’s a head beard.

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    A prime candidate for “For God’s sake, turn around!”

  3. Anrkist Says:

    Even during the middle ages, guys dressed up like The Crow at Halloween parties.

  4. Evad Says:

    So the plot centers on a medieval barber who can channel celebrity hair styles from 1980’s Los Angeles salons. After convincing the entire court to try the latest layered looks he is drawn & quartered. This strict but appropriate punishment fails to cheer the king, queen, wizard and populace as it will may take weeks for everyone’s hair to grow out.

  5. Action Kate Says:

    aw, c’mon, some poor wizard wants to celebrate the death of Voldemort by dramatizing the events he’s only read about third-hand in the Daily Prophet, and you’re all going to give him a hard time? (C’mon, look at the trio in the back. That’s totally Ron Weasley holding the sword of Godric Gryffindor, between Harry and Hermione — even their hair is the right color. Lower left front are clearly the artist’s rendition of Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange, Dumbledore is the guy with the amazing beard, and that’s ol’ Voldy in back.)

  6. Dave Van Domelen Says:

    “You know, we got a lot of square pieces of art when we bought out that defunct record label, let’s just slap one of those on the cover for this, it’ll be cheaper than commissioning new art. So what if it’s the wrong shape, that’s what borders are for!”

  7. Thomas M. Wagner Says:

    As it appears the title gives the climax away, that, plus the cover, leaves little reason to pick up the book. My heart does go out to Mr. White.

  8. Justin Leego Says:

    Blue Dark Lord reminds me of Canadian pianist / rapper / superproducer Gonzales:

  9. Phil Says:

    I’m trying to figure out what Will Self is doing on the cover wearing that crown.

  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Above the Wizarding Three in the back…what is a big blue Indian midden doing right in the middle of nowhere?

  11. Nix Says:

    I think that blue stuff is either a really bad fungal disease or a second type of hair which really *has* taken his head over.

  12. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Blue Guy: “You bloody kids, get off my lawn and take that stupid toy sword with you!”

  13. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Cover later recycled for the ghostwritten sequel YOUNG HARRY POTTER: THE CURSE OF THE BLUE FACE WITH RED LIPSTICK.

  14. Rachel J Says:

    I’ve actually read this– and it just goes to show how misleading these covers and titles can be. You might *think* it’s a bad ripoff of “Harry Potter”, but in fact it’s an excruciatingly terrible ripoff of the “Chronicles of Narnia”.

  15. Tom Noir Says:

    Yes, but what I want to know is, does the Dark Lord get killed at the end??

  16. Tat Wood Says:

    If you’d told me this was a novelisation of that late 70s show with Roddy McDowell and Ike Eisenmann lost in the Bermuda Triangle I would have believed it.

  17. Jon K. Says:

    Just for a minute there, I would have sworn that Ol’ Blue Face there was wearing his baseball cap backward….

  18. GSS noob Says:

    The first and last comments have combined in my head to remind me of the old TV show “Wizards and Warriors”, of which the single greatest line was spoken by Evil Wizard Clive Revill, when he said dryly, “I’m not wearing a hat.”

    (If you don’t remember it, Google a photo of Clive in his outfit. You’ll see why the on-screen characters were shocked into silence, while my parents and I were laughing hysterically.)

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