Mar 29

: |Click for full image

Cathal’s Art Direction: It’s quite simple. A flaming-winged, bikini-clad woman with a sun for a head, rising out of a lopsided cauldron. And an amazon with a flaming arrow. See if you can make the amazon lopsided too, maybe give her two left legs… Looking good!
Published 1992

Many thanks to Cathal!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.39 out of 10)

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24 Responses to “The Illuminati of Immortality”

  1. The GSS Bookfinder General Says:

    One part of the description of this book needs to be noted:

    “The metaphysical climax will astound you!”

    That so should have been on the front cover!

  2. SI Says:

    The winged sun face person looks deeply unimpressed!

  3. THX 1138 Says:

    Typical, you have your best pose for the cover and then the artist plonks a big sun in front of your face. Nobody will know it’s you now!

    Does the extensive introduction take up most of the book? That’s what extensive means to me.

  4. Dalton H. Says:

    They have to have an extensive introduction to distract people from reading this terrible story for a while.

  5. Tom Noir Says:

    Man, I hate it when books shortchange you on the introduction. Kudos to these guys for giving readers lots of introduction value!

    In other news, does anyone think that this looks more like a pamphlet for Scientology than a fantasy novel?

  6. Tom Noir Says:

    Seriously though, Robert Anton Wilson introduced the hell out of this book!

  7. Scott Marlowe Says:

    Is that the Black Cauldron?

  8. Phil Says:

    Amazon lady seems to have an atrophied or otherwise foreshortened right arm.

    Cybersonic, eh? Sounds like it’s something to do with cybernetics, and something to do with sound. Noisy robots?

  9. fred Says:

    How can I fire this arrow when my bowstring isn’t obeying the laws of perspective?

  10. A.R.Yngve Says:

    So the Illuminati are using sun-worshippers to shrink the lower bodies of Amazons? The fiends! Have they no shame?

    (Nope — and neither did the cover artist.)

  11. Nix Says:

    That’s not a sun. That’s a censorship mark like our very own admin’s sheep. Obviously this person has breasts for a face.

  12. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Q: What’s a “cybersonic quest?”

    A: When the volume in Microsoft Windows gets stuck, and you try to open the Sound menu but it keeps freezing.

  13. Gary Says:

    Alchemy, dreams and a cybersonic quest; two very cliché fantasy themes and a completely made up (and I suspect un-researched) word. What’s stopping you? Ah the sun head..

  14. Scott B Says:

    I have to say, the sun *is* quite hot.

  15. Phil Says:

    Scott B. wins the awful-groan-at-a-terrible-pun award.

    I just hope sun-face’s wing feathers aren’t held on by wax, Icarus-like. Mind you, whatever they’re held on by doesn’t stand much hope against a quintillion-degree fireball like a sun.

    What? Oh, it’s a mask. OK, as you were.

  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Bow down and worship Pac-Man, Devourer of Pills!”

  17. GK Says:

    I don’t know where to start, everything about the archer lady is just so wrong. Her hips are all messed up, not to mention her top half is totally out of proportion, and what’s up with her right hand? It looks tiny.

    The blue/green cybersonic jet underneath the THE in the title is a nice touch though.

  18. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “NOOO!! I am not an elephant amazon!! I… am… a human being!!”

  19. rev Says:

    Why didn’t they just put a bag over her head?

  20. AnnaT Says:

    *laughter about the ridiculous title*
    The Sun-woman, with her amateurly-made mask, rose from the cauldron, while the misshapen Amazon guard kept watch with a perspective-ignoring bow and arrow.

  21. A.R.Yngve Says:

    It would have sold better if the title had been “The Illuminati of Immorality”.

  22. anon Says:

    Is it worth being immortal if you have wings on your back, a sun-ish thing for a head and are forced to spend your time inside a huge goblet of flaming lava?

  23. THX 1138 Says:

    @anon: Don’t knock it till you’ve tried it.

  24. GSS noob Says:

    €7 for that? I think we know why it was in the bookstore 20+ years later for Cathal to find. I don’t care how extensive the intro is or how many words they make up, ain’t nobody paying 7 euro, pounds, or dollars for that.

    (Look! My new keyboard has a euro sign! €€€€€€)

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