Apr 06

What up Liz! HIGH FIVE! Yeaaaaahhhhaaaaa!Click for full image

Richard P Comments: Gary was beginning to regret that he’d neglected his garden.
Published 1966

And on the other side –

Unteleported... into another mans crotch!Click for full image

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.65 out of 10)

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20 Responses to “Ace Double – The Mind Monsters”

  1. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Find the equation for non-conformity — or else!”
    This brings back a childhood trauma… my parents often told me:
    “Find the equation for matching your socks — or else!”

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    “Priiiime! Prime Mov-ah! Baby you’re miiiiine! I’m The Groov-ah!”

    So that’s what happened to Zodiac Mindwarp.

  3. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “In that planetary game, was he pawn or prime-mover?”

    Is this a rhetorical question?

  4. Jonesey Says:

    I’m gonna go home and mow my lawn…

  5. fred Says:

    I’m thinking hair is a big part of the equation.

  6. Tom Noir Says:

    Is that Rex Ready on the first cover?

  7. SI Says:

    Tom> I believe Rex Ready has family:

    And the one time Gary actually goes about spraying some weeds… he gets attacked by a giant monster. There is a lesson there kids!

  8. Phil Says:

    ***“In that planetary game, was he pawn or prime-mover?”
    ***Is this a rhetorical question?

    No, it’s answered on page 237. Just after the bit where the creature’s three-fingered hands are explained. And the Spartan helmet is accounted for.

  9. Adam Roberts Says:

    First one: ‘hands up all those who want to learn the Asbestos Suit Boogie from me.’

    Second: I can’t take my eyes off his unteleported giant yellow right nipple.

  10. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Hey, wait a minute!
    The title clearly states, “The UNteleported Man”… while the cover just as clearly shows a man being teleported!

    Surely this is the first time in history that an SF book cover promises something that doesn’t happen inside the book!

  11. ppenguinator Says:

    Surely most, if not all, of men alive today are unteleported. I don’t see what’s so special about this one.

  12. Dalton H. Says:

    Aren’t we all unteleported? Well except for Jeff Goldblum.

  13. arch9enius Says:

    LIzard: Greetings! (In Russian)

  14. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Oi! Put that down! I’m tryin’ ta find the lavs, is all!’

    And on the back side:

    ‘Wouldn’t you know it, first teleportation and they put me nude in front of Harvey and Mitch. Someone get me a mop.’

    @Phil: you’ll notice that the reptile has 4 digits on one hand, 3 on the other. And 2 fangs in his lower jaw, 1 in his upper.

  15. Tat Wood Says:

    Who Moved My Prime? A textbook on reptilian management; this time the littlepeople get eaten if they ask for better conditions.

    The Unteleported Man cover looks like the Jazz Cafe circa 1989; shaven-headed blokes in smocks and shades playing Hammonds and various other attempts to pretend it was 1965.

  16. Rev Says:

    //equation for non-conformity – or else!
    //apologies for the awful formatting
    for (int i = 0; i < 0; i++)
    if (NonConformity == True || ace <= baen)
    std::cout << "Failure to conform." << std::endl;

    else if (!NonConformity)
    std::cout << "Conformist." << std::endl;

    std::cout << "You have been unteleported into another mans crotch." << std::endl;

  17. Rev Says:

    oh, my aching sides…lol

  18. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I like the cursor rollover caption, but shouldn’t that be—

    “What up Liz! HIGH FOUR! Yeaaahhhhaaaaa!”

  19. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I am trying for the second time to post this quite innocuous comment. Last time it went into “awaiting moderation” mode then disappeared. There are mysteries wrapped within riddles inside enigmas galore.

    As I said, I like the cursor rollover comment, but shouldn’t it be “What up Liz! HIGH FOUR! Yeaaaaahhhhaaaaa!”?

  20. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Nothing seems to be getting through now. Consider this a message in a bottle, maybe a Klein Bottle.

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