Aug 05

I'll take the space ship, it looks less depressed.Click for full image

Imagine this, you are a female knight… awww come on, I said imagine… and you have come into the future only to find… wait for it.. space ships! And a futuristic station! This cover will be one of the greatest comparisons of public transport ever! Oh, don’t forget the transparent eyes in the sky too.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.35 out of 10)

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11 Responses to “Empress of Light”

  1. CSA Says:

    that spaceship isn’t even the size of the horses head… how is anyone meant to fit in it… I think its about to bump into her face too.

    the author didnt think that one through, or is it a planet of tiny tiny people?

    God i’d hate to live a world where theres a huge set of eyes always looking down from the sky like that, hows anyone meant to work with that going on?

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I had to look up what was a Kliatt. Foolish me, I thought Kliatt was the stage name of one of these girl group singers who doesn’t have a successful solo career and disappears for a few years, reappears on Celebrity Big Brother, and…

    …ah, shutting up.


    Horsey has a smooshed face, like part was painted in profile and part was painted while looking to the illustrator.

  3. Rachel J Says:

    What happened here? Did no-one notice that the addition of the fancy border clearly puts the ship in the foreground? Or is it meant to be a mini-ship crewed by ants? And is the horse a Mutant Space Horse of the Future?

    Google holds no answers to these questions. However, for what it’s worth, the first chapter, “The Birth of Mary Goddess-Sue”, is available here:

    (Well, all right, that’s not what it’s called, but trust me…)

  4. A.R.Yngve Says:

    You know what this cover reminds me of most of all?

    An old Nazi poster of Adolf Hitler in knight’s armor.

    And I’m not kidding.

  5. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Doh! I realize that I just activated Godwin’s Law there… (Eventually, someone will mention “Hitler” in an Internet discussion.)


  6. FeařofMusic Says:

    Oooh.Flip the picture and yipes! All she needs is the little mustache.


  7. Stevie T Says:

    @Rachel J– Wow, you weren’t kidding. Reminded me of a bad Choose-Your-Own-Adventure book. Usually authors post the first chapter to get readers to want to read more. This just made me think I dodged a bullet.

  8. Phil Says:

    I think title fonts should more often be shaped like eyebrows. Or that we should all wear book titles on our faces like old faint-eyes.

  9. A.R.Yngve Says:


  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @AR #4–well, that would explain the ‘SS’ pattern on the border now, wouldn’t it?

  11. A.R.Yngve Says:

    That’s one dubious review quote:
    “Thrilling!” -Kliatt

    The review quotes they didn’t use:
    1. “Enthralling!” -Clott

    2. “Marvellous!” -Snott

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