May 18
Click for full imageArt Direction: Look I’m so sci-fi medical expertician but, the inevitable side effect of putting crystals in your eyes has got to be a large head, baldness and a lack of lips. Maybe the loss of chest hair too.
Published 1975
Thanks to Whitney for sending this in!
(Average: 8.03 out of 10)
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(9.27 out of 10)
May 18th, 2011 at 10:58 am
Winner of the 1975 Intergalactic Staring Competition there, ladies and gentlemen.
May 18th, 2011 at 11:04 am
AAAAHHH GET AWAY FROM ME AAAAH!!!
May 18th, 2011 at 11:07 am
What happens if you wear those 3-D glasses for too long.
May 18th, 2011 at 1:58 pm
i used to do that as a kid with things to gain… bug vision!
May 18th, 2011 at 2:59 pm
That’s one impressively symmetrical receding hairline.
May 18th, 2011 at 3:46 pm
NOT IMPRESSED by the new BP mascot.
May 18th, 2011 at 5:05 pm
Sagging, tired eyes? Try our new, patented EYE BRA! Designed by Lady Gaga.
May 19th, 2011 at 9:18 am
Professor Farnsworth, is that you?
Or perhaps percussionist Ray Cooper.
I like the matter of fact blurb at the top which explains much more than the title or cover art ever could.
May 19th, 2011 at 11:03 am
My eyes look like that after a few disco biscuits.
May 19th, 2011 at 4:07 pm
All bow down to the power of the hypno-toad err … hypno-leering-geezer.
May 22nd, 2011 at 2:25 am
Quick, have the funeral for the eyes, so they’ll STOP LOOKING AT ME!!
May 23rd, 2011 at 8:01 am
You are getting sleeepyyy…
June 13th, 2011 at 8:33 pm
It looks like the fellow is:
a) getting up from a tanning booth.
b) waking up and noticing that someone painted a mural around him.
c) trying to step away from the book itself!
June 16th, 2011 at 1:58 am
Robin Williams in Bicentennial Man. only with marbles in his eyes as an attempt at “huu-mour” Arp! Arp!
June 20th, 2011 at 4:23 pm
What’s with terrible sci-fi and odd colored guys with large heads? I’m talking to you Green Lantern!
June 21st, 2011 at 1:55 am
Big head = Big brain. Ideally. But if anyone can think of notable exceptions, write in.
March 3rd, 2014 at 2:35 pm
Is it just me or is he wearing a yarmulke?
He’s probably saying “Fire eyes, schmire eyes!”
March 5th, 2014 at 2:09 am
@Phil. Yes, but I wouldn’t be surprised if “their eyes were crystals that could see into the future” is just a wild guess. Or, alternatively, the story’s super-secret final plot twist.
March 5th, 2014 at 12:38 pm
Their eyes were cocktail onions that made them cry for the foreseeable future.
April 25th, 2014 at 3:21 am
Um, my name is Dead Stuff With Big Teeth…I’m a friend of theirs…was, was a friend of there’s…we’d known each other since 2011…Eyes of Fire were a friend you could depend on. They were always willing to watch your back. They would always see the bad and the good in everything. I mean, they would bore into your soul without a shred of mercy and judge you in a smug, necrotic way, right, but you could depend on that. All day, every day.
Anyway, before they died, Eyes of Fire asked my mate Eduardo to play a tune we could all remember them by. Thank you, Eduardo, I’ll just get offstage…
August 21st, 2015 at 8:24 pm
“Hey man, you want some? It’ll make your eyes so weird that your head will, like, detach from reality and stuff.”
August 22nd, 2015 at 2:45 pm
As far as I know, Eyes of Fire is alive and well.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eyes_of_Fire
August 27th, 2015 at 2:16 am
Two words: Uncanny. Valley.
I don’t think any more is necessary.
January 11th, 2017 at 2:11 am
It’s a young Professor Farnsworth standing in an open-pit copper mine.
“Good news, everyone! The toxic chemicals mean I’ll never have to wax my chest again!”
September 8th, 2021 at 6:09 am
He watches us mock his book cover, and is not impressed.