preload
Jun 07

Does that boat have wings?Click for full image

Phil Comments: Why John, you are so odd that I must hide behind these conveniently positioned but otherwise random spikes. But at least you’ve noticed me, which makes you not quite as odd as you used to be back in the days of: Odd John.


Published 1959

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.78 out of 10)
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33 Responses to “Odd John”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    “Hey there, where’s your boyfriend? I need to kick sand in someone’s face!”

  2. Seamyst Says:

    I think those random spikes are supposed to be driftwood. But uh… yeah. Odd John’s seriously pissed about something.

  3. Jane Says:

    Straight from the runways of Paris–driftwood bikinis.

  4. Tom Noir Says:

    And in the space of a cover Odd John goes from alien to creepy psychopath!

  5. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Anderson Cooper??

  6. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Book blurb:
    He had to be stopped, for all women were his playthings and all men his pawns.

    Suggested book title:
    A DESPERATE SALES PITCH TO 40-YEAR-OLD VIRGINS

  7. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Get your damn dirty hands off my driftwood sculpture!”

  8. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Not ANOTHER sexist display of male flesh! When shall the objectification of men cease?

  9. Smith Says:

    I’m sure there’s a joke about getting wood in here somewhere…

  10. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Alternate blurb:
    “A startling look into a future world of short, small people…”

  11. fred Says:

    Donald “Red” Grant (Robert Shaw-From Russia W/Love) getting in a little R&R?

  12. benny Says:

    “carry on” odd john

  13. Prudynce Says:

    Odd John has odd eyes.

  14. Dalton H. Says:

    Forget sheep censorship! Now we have driftwood!

  15. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    It looks like Pussy Galore washed up on the wrong beach…

  16. arch9enius Says:

    IT’s ONLY RUDE TO STARE….

  17. arch9enius Says:

    More sites should have double comment detectors. Even those that don’t allow comments.

  18. L.B. Says:

    Odd John? What does he throw at Bond?

  19. Bruce A Munro Says:

    I think @A.R. Yngve pretty much nailed the blurb at #6, leaving us just the cover itself to mock.

    ‘His intellect was superhuman, but even he couldn’t solve the “sand gets _everywhere_ ” problem.’

    It’s not really a very good portrait of Odd John, and our previous round with this book was a bit closer, although still not getting the eyes right: he’s described by one reader as “He has a disproprtionately enormous head, topped with crinkly white wool wool for hair and large eyes which normally seem like big black pools rimmed only by a thin circle of green.”

    Which makes the first edition cover fairly accurate: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/4a/Odd_John_first_edition_cover.jpg

  20. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    @L.B. You probably don’t want to know.

  21. THX 1139 Says:

    “All men his prawns!” What kind of sick bast- oh, wait a minute…

  22. fred Says:

    Micronauts/Ant Man comic book villain as well.

    http://www.marvunapp.com/Appendix/oddjohnm.htm

  23. Francis Boyle Says:

    Wikipedia describes the book as a “recurrent vision of cosmic angst” but all I’m getting from this cover is triceratops porn.

    (No, you probably don’t want to do a Google search for “triceratops porn”)

  24. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    @Francis B: ‘Are you feeling horny? – Because I’m three times as horny…’

  25. drlemaster Says:

    For naked people on an island, her hair and makeup are extremely well-done.

  26. Ryan Says:

    He’s not exactly having a discreet glance at her bottom, is he? Those eyes!

  27. Tor Mented Says:

    Um, it’s not an odd john. It’s a bidet.

  28. JuanPaul Says:

    This is what has John so shocked (nsfw but not porn):

    https://i.chzbgr.com/full/7169972480/hE6328A6D/dont-tell-me-what-to-do

  29. B. Chiclitz Says:

    For some odd reason when I look at this cover I hear

    “Niagra Falls! Slowly I turned, step by step, inch by inch . . . .”

    @Tor M—GSS!

  30. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @fred: Only a smidgen sillier than this.

    @FB: I’m 99.99% sure Chuck Tingle has written triceratops pron. But not with women involved.

    @drlemaster: To be fair, she might have a beach house she’s just stepped out from to pose with the driftwood. But who does all that grooming to go nude sunbathing on private property?

  31. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    @GSSxn: The combination of GSS comments and Wikipedia continues to improve, (well, or at least broaden) my education. There’s even a mention of ‘Ravished by a Triceratops’. I would never have guessed.

  32. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Vlttp: Rule 34. Always Rule 34.

  33. Bruce A Munro Says:

    It also might be the claw of a giant crab. Giant crabs are, after all, a common sign of Science Gone Wrong.

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