Jul 05
Click for full imageAdam Comments: The men being attacked by the sinister tentacle are not, in fact, wearing white leotards. They are covered in a fine white-haired pelt. I’m not sure who in the chain of events leading to the publishing of this book was taking copious amounts of drugs.
Published 1983
(Average: 6.94 out of 10)
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July 5th, 2011 at 9:07 am
the words Medusa and tiger, images of a way-larger-than-lifesize man’s face, big tentacles, bearded white-haired men – nah, that’s all completely clear, rational and connected.
July 5th, 2011 at 10:16 am
I like how that dude up in the sky is looking on in horror at the title:
“Volume Four of The Four Lords of the Diamond?”
“Then the title gets a subtitle too?”
“And said subtitle is a bizarre mixed metaphor combining mythical sea creatures and aphorisms about large cats?”
“And then they went and made the author’s name off-center?”
“WHY GOD WHY!?!?!?!???”
July 5th, 2011 at 11:11 am
“Look out below! I’m about to sneeze!”
July 5th, 2011 at 12:28 pm
“HELP US OH LARGE LORD!!!!”
“Hold on, let me finish my song…”
July 5th, 2011 at 3:27 pm
Worst italics ever.
July 5th, 2011 at 4:41 pm
I believe a cover containing both electrodes and snowshoes is the first sign of the Apocalypse.
July 5th, 2011 at 9:52 pm
The guy in the front is yelling: ‘that’s IT! I’ve had ENOUGH of my freakishly long thigh! I’m cutting it off with this sword RIGHT NOW!’
July 6th, 2011 at 12:01 am
Looks to me like the Kenny Rodgers clones were about to have a bad day.
July 6th, 2011 at 5:08 am
The hills apparently ARE alive with the sound of music. And a giant squid is trying to eat The Edgar Winter Group.
Soon to be a SyFy Original (TM).
(Not really.)
(I hope.)
July 6th, 2011 at 7:40 am
Yeah, they’re covered in fur, because magic symbiotes. Also they can completely transform and stuff, because Jack L Chalker.
Seriously, that guy has issues.
July 6th, 2011 at 8:00 am
Don Hilliard — It would be nightmare hilarious to adapt. This is the book where the protagonist, a boy whose mind has been erased and completely rewritten with the mind of an assassin, is sent to kill someone on stupid ice world, and instead gets caught and forcibly transformed into a barbie-doll-like idiot female sex slave for the antagonist’s personal use (thank you, wikipedia!).
Oh, that Chalker. He must have stumbled across a clown orgy as a young child, or something, to end up as messed-in-the-head as he is.
July 6th, 2011 at 9:17 am
Look out! Giant head! Behind you!
Me: loving the italicised yet superfluous colon; wishing there was a literal tiger and/or tail on the cover; wishing there was a TING! on at least on of those swords.
Our heroes – Kenny (Rogers), Kris (Kristofferson) and Rick (Wakeman) – should be wearing warmer clothing if climatic conditions truly necessitate the use of snowshoes.
July 7th, 2011 at 5:57 am
Volume four of the Four Lords of the Diamond.
Soon to be followed by:
Volume five of the Three Lords of the Diamond (one was taken by a squid…)
July 8th, 2011 at 11:00 pm
“Annd II-IIII WWILLL AAAALLWAYS LLLLOVVE YYYOU-UU-UUU….”
July 18th, 2011 at 1:51 am
This is like how Boba Fett’s dad cloned himself to make all those soldiers, except, well,old.
July 26th, 2011 at 6:53 pm
Is that Mel Gibson with bad hair plugs in the sky screaming “Freeeedooooom”?
August 1st, 2011 at 2:45 am
No, it’s a giant Alan Partridge! A-HAAAAAAA!
September 10th, 2011 at 8:05 am
Hell, having read all four books long ago, I never realized how goofy the covers were. The big face grows progressively more agitated from cover to cover and this image makes complete sense once you’ve read the book…but you’d have to be nuts to buy a cover like this BEFORE finishing the novel.
November 19th, 2013 at 9:21 am
Ah, the dilemma I’m in! Should I go for the obvious dentistry pun “Open wide…” or the movie reference pun “Is it safe?” (I mean, who remembers that silly old movie except as an obscure joke in HOT SHOTS…?)
:-S
November 11th, 2017 at 3:41 am
Is there a floating head tag? And his leg is def. anatomical issues.
February 24th, 2018 at 5:28 am
Is…is this…tentacle porn?
February 24th, 2018 at 9:49 am
The biathlon (skiing and rifles) was an Olympic sport that replaced this unsuccessful earlier idea (snowshoeing and spears). Competitors were happy to see the new sport did not involve a kraken.
I recall seeing a cover here which seemed to show mass speedskating; do we have any that depict curling? (U! S! A!)
February 24th, 2018 at 6:36 pm
Medusa: A Tiger By the Tail? Silly me. I thought Medusas involved snakes by the head.
February 24th, 2018 at 9:58 pm
@Tor M—yeah, and I thought the “Four Lords of the Diamond” were Ruth, Williams, DiMaggio and Koufax.
February 24th, 2018 at 10:57 pm
@BC: We would also accept Stan the Man, Hammerin’ Hank, and the Say Hey Kid. None of whom would approve of these shenanigans (for different reasons — the Babe would complain that there’s no babes; Koufax would have nothing to do with it, esp. on Saturdays).
@Tor: Yes, the biology here seems to be as confused and muddled as the cover art and text.