Sep 29

My liquorice is fabulous!Click for full image

Ruby’s Art Direction: I want a truly horrifying banshee creature… no wait – Give me the world’s gayest red rubber man, complete with rubbery genital mound and screaming nipples, then have him vomit himself into creation. Oh, and add in a small red haired child looking confused.
Published 1991

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.99 out of 10)

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28 Responses to “The Fetch”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    Who booked him? The children’s birthday party is ruined!

  2. SI Says:

    lmao at THX.

    I’m not sure any comment can top that! Good Show!

  3. A.R.Yngve Says:

    THX wins. Best comment evah.

  4. A.R.Yngve Says:

    And remind never to complain again that fantasy book covers are too generic.
    This is about as UN-generic as it gets…

  5. bincat23 Says:

    way out there.

  6. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    From the Amazon.Com site:

    “Michael, an adopted child, possesses strange powers. His new parents find earth in his bedroom, containing ancient wood, tools and bones. As he grows up, Michael pleases his parents with gifts from the past, but all goes horribly wrong.”

    Yes, Michael. Your gift is horribly, horribly wrong. And horrible.

    Good show sir!

  7. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    “My liquorice is fabulous” – that just floored me. I couldn’t help laughing out loud at work!

    And yes, THX was very funny as well.

    I propose that we have votes on the funniest comments. Maybe the Admins should consider putting a “Thumbs-up” to click on beside each comment that we could click on. Kind of like what YouTube does.

  8. Tom Noir Says:

    If the publisher’s intent was to make me never want to pick up this book or even touch it with a ten foot pole, well then, Mission Accomplished. Good Show Sir!

  9. fred Says:

    So the kid tried to gift his parents with Iron Man and Mr. Fantastic?

  10. Alessandra Says:

    Wow. High-octane nightmare fuel.

    I agree, THX’s comment is the funniest.

  11. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Winner of the HIGH TIMES Bad Trip Award”

  12. Yoss Says:

    You can sort of see the influence of Michelangelo’s David. And the LSD.

  13. THX 1138 Says:

    Aw shucks, you guys. Robert Holdstock is a good writer, though, probably didn’t deserve that cover. Mind you, it is supposed to be a scary book, so…

  14. Seth Christenfeld Says:

    Stop trying to make (the) fetch happen!

  15. Tom Noir Says:

    @Seth –

    Nice Mean Girls reference sir! Well played.

  16. Phil Says:

    Surely that’s a three-sheep cover.

  17. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    The only thing that is missing is a big TING coming off of plastic-man there. I don’t think that there’s a single bad place that the TING could be placed.

  18. LittleRed1 Says:

    If I were to read that book, I might actually get one of those frilly fabric book-covers to put over it lest people start asking questions I really, really do not think I want to answer. This cover reaches a rare low.

  19. Alessandra Kelley Says:

    It is for books like this that the metaphorical cover was invented.

    It has often been observed that HP Lovecraft’s monsters are far more frightening in written description than when artists try to depict them. Some of the more successful Lovecraft have symbolic covers, rather than literal depictions of scenes within the story.

    Mystery novels and horror novels routinely do this, with covers alluding to psychological states, or with objects or locations symbolic of the characters or their demises. It is a good practice for stories with important interior states.

    This book might have been better served with a symbolic cover.

  20. Rags Says:

    I feel pretty, oh so pretty, i feel pretty and witty and gay!!!

  21. FeàröfMüsic Says:

    @Tag Wizard: All right then. If this doesn’t prove the need for the ‘weird pecs’ addition to the tag list…
    Pecs don’t come much weirder than THAT.

  22. fred Says:

    The full art for this cover is actually very good if you like misty mossy forest scenes with your WTF is that.

  23. JuanPaul Says:

    Skyrim mods have gone too far.

  24. Francis Boyle Says:

    The creature needs a mask because some things must not be seen. No, I don’t understand the logic either.

  25. Tat Wood Says:

    ‘Mommy! My Twizzler’s turned into Freddie Mercury’

    (Truth in advertising: and this nightmarish one from 1991

  26. Anna T. Says:

    That’s more than slightly disgusting. Seriously, why did they let the radiation-created goo monsters out of containment? WHYYY????

  27. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I missed this one somehow in my epic marathon through the archives.

    Or possibly blocked it out of my memory?

    ‘scuse me, must go take anti-nausea meds.

  28. FluffyGhostKitten Says:

    His nipples look more like they’re whistling. That, or…something else I shall not state here.

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