Nov 15

OH the irony of making your fish man row!Click for full image

Joachim’s Art Direction: I want an Indian hanging out in a boat with a yellow-thonged alien with a head drawn by a 4 year-old…
Published 1977

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.44 out of 10)

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32 Responses to “One Against a Wilderness”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    If I was the Gillman there, I’d demand a recount in that title. Blatant species-ism!

  2. Claire Says:

    Is Nato’wa lost? Is it the homeland of the Indians? Why is that poor alien doing all the paddling? I might have to investigate this book.

  3. Nix Says:

    That fish-man alien is one of the most amateurish pieces of artwork I’ve ever seen. Full marks for ‘Indian undiscovered homeland’ condescension too.

  4. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Oh yeah, sure, tell the Native Americans that they really belong in “lost Nato’wa”, so that you can keep the ENTIRE NORTH AMERICAN CONTINENT to yourselves…

    Keep it classy, Whitey.

  5. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Fish-man speak with forked tongue!”
    “But that’s what my tongue looks like!”

  6. Tom Noir Says:

    I love how that tagline reads the first time like it has suddenly descended into gibberish.

    “In the undiscovered homeland of the Indians oogle bitsy stroop!”

    That ‘sentence’ cries out for a verb, and my poor brain so wants to believe that it’s somewhere within “Nato’wa”. Which, by the way, sounds like it might be how Native Americans refer to the North Atlantic Treaty Organization.

  7. Alessandra Kelley Says:

    Standing up in a canoe? Dumb, dumb, dumb!

    I thought the homeland of the Native Americans was North America.

    Out of all the richness of Native American history, what nation to make the guy on the cover? Haida? Tlingit? Creek? Hopi? Zuñi? Navajo? Ojibwa? Mohawk? Cayuga? Oneida? Onondaga? Fox? Winnebago? Seminole? Cherokee? Sioux? Blackfoot?

    Nah. Lets dress him in a Sears kids’ costume, circa. 1955.

    Honestly, is that fringe on his outfit, or fur trim?

    And that canoe … it’s stitched together like a birchbark canoe (albeit sloppier), but that isn’t birch bark.

    It looks like the artist’s reference was a couple of toys.

    I am aware of the absurdity of criticising the authenticity of a cover which includes a blue frog-man with a bellybutton and incomprehensible hands.

  8. Jon Says:

    I haven’t read the book, but for all we know the description of the creature from the black lagoon on the cover is “a gilled monster who appears to have been drawn by a 4-year old.”

  9. Jami Says:

    Actually, Alessandra, a lot of Indians hate being called Native American and their homeland is, in reality, Russia. They immigrated here first. So technically, Russians discovered America.

    So obviously the Gillman there is in reality an Indian from Chernobyl.

  10. fred Says:

    I guess in lost undiscovered Nato’wa one = two.

  11. Phil Says:

    Behind you!!!

  12. evaD Says:

    So Running Deer, I guess The Mist Of Transformation was just an old story after all…

  13. Joachim Says:

    I had completely forgotten that I’d submitted this one! And then, I saw that alien, and started laughing like the very first time I cam across this hilarious cover…. wow… Your comments have been fantastic as well!

  14. Kyle Says:

    Nothing about this makes any sense. Is Nato’wa the ‘Indian?’ The alien? The lost homeland of the ‘Indians?’ Who is the “One Against A Wilderness” anyway? Is it the ‘Indian,’ or the alien? If it’s just one, why are there two people (word used loosely) in the boat? If he’s a fish man alien thing, why does he need to row the boat instead of swim? EXPLAIN BOOK, EXPLAIN!!

  15. Phil Says:

    Kyle, I find that books often do a good job of explaining. You just open the cover and read. Of course, once that cover is turned, best to not look at it again; it will only disappoint.

  16. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Frog man: C’mon Jerry, can’t you take a turn at this rowing? My arms are killing me!

    Indian: No. You have offended my ancestors by saying that one our totems looked like your uncle Louis.

  17. Herm Says:

    I… I like the fish man. Even if he reminds me of Vaporeon.

  18. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Needs a ‘native Americans’ or ‘American Indians’ or ‘First Nations’, or even ‘Amerindians’, tag.

    I’m not such a fan of the blurb, it looks like part of it has gone missing. ‘In the undiscovered homeland of the Indians, lost Nato’wa half of the sentence. Probably, fell it between the love seat cushions.’

  19. Perry Armstrong Says:

    ‘The Last of the Mohicans’ starring Lon Chaney Jr. & Ricou Browning.

  20. anon Says:

    Is the other guy a Warsaw’wa, then?

  21. Anna T. Says:

    The canoe is sinking . . .

  22. Tat Wood Says:

    The fish-man with fins growing from his head is looking at the two feathers in the all-purpose Native American’s hat and wondering if his passenger is taking the piss.

  23. anon Says:

    @Tat Wood: Could be the other thing …making it even more awkward.

  24. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    All in all, I think I’m rooting for the wilderness.

  25. A.R.Yngve Says:

    You know what we need? A novel where American Indians discover that white Europeans are really aliens whose “lost homeland” is on Mars… nya ha ha!

  26. B. Chiclitz Says:

    In reviewing the many brilliant gambits and queries of this twice-told thread, I find key questions mysteriously still unanswered, like, if it’s one against the homeland why are there two in the canoe? is the country “lost” or “undiscovered”? same question for the verb in the sentence. But most chilling of all is the prescience of jami (9) who, seven years ago, predicted what Putin would say to Trump when they meet next week, followed by “and we want it back, da?”

    Gillman, who is indeed from Chernobyl, is also an FSB agent trying to persuade Jay Silverheels to send disinformation smoke signals through the Cloudnet.

    I have to say this: we apologize, and, three cheers for the baby blimp!

  27. fred Says:

    Frodo and Sam crossing the Anduin after the Fellowship breaks up, original illustration from the Red Book of Westmarch.

  28. Tor Mented Says:

    If it’s their homeland, how can it be undiscovered?

  29. Tat Wood Says:

    @Tor: ask Rick Steves. He does it all the time. Or posh British people in the Dordogne. Or any restaurant critic.

  30. JuanPaul Says:

    I know we are all distracted by the fish-roe-er so I need to point out: that is one kick-ass canoe!

  31. Bibliomancer Says:

    Sit down dude. If you tip that canoe you’re both going to flounder.

  32. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Gill-Man is probably thinking “Sit down, dummy. I’ll be fine if I fall in, but you won’t. Also, I am a fish-man, why the hell am I in a canoe? Why did I get this jerk instead of a mute cleaning lady who has the hots for me?”

    That blurb is… racist and ungrammatical (see comment #26 and write the joke yourself).

    I’m convinced the guy is Nato’wa. He’s lost. And confused a homeland with something undiscovered. I don’t think his outfit goes with the canoe either, tribally.

    Is it One against the wilderness because he’s a confused wanna-bee “Indian” who’s handcuffed to the canoe, and Gill-Man is taking him to the loony bin for his own safety?

    In the shining steep cliff waters,
    Lost Nato’wa all his marbles.

    OR, is he a cigar-store statue and Gill-Man is the One on a quest to bring this bit of kitsch through the wilderness?

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