Nov 16

Well I don't know where we are going dinosaur horse but I thank god I don't have a nose!Click for full image

Alessandra’s Art Direction:It’s short fiction by some of the best, most respected science fiction authors in the field. So I want… A Viking with a bottom for a face! Riding the world’s most exhausted-looking dinosaur horse! With its tongue hanging out! Through a Dali-esque landscape out of the Old West! And give the Viking kind of … Samurai armor!
Published 1976
Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.95 out of 10)

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33 Responses to “Connoisseur’s Science Fiction”

  1. Kathryn Says:

    Poor Arseface the Viking. You’re so horrible to him.

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    Is this what that Fall Out Boy song was about? Altogether now, “This ain’t a scene, it’s a god damn arse face!”

  3. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Alternate titles:





  4. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    It looks as if Rhectum and Horsiesaurus are wearing matching trouser armour.

  5. Kathryn Says:

    I just noticed that the dinohorse is licking the ground, too. Weird.

  6. A.R.Yngve Says:

    They’re not gonna let that one into Valhalla, that’s for sure….

  7. Phil Says:

    Years ago I bought this book because of the description of its contents in a catalogue. Never has there been such a mismatch between title and cover.

    I got rid of the book after reading.

  8. Tom Noir Says:

    Does anyone else look at horse-o-saureses hair and think ‘spaghetti’?

  9. Adam Roberts Says:

    You see an arse-faced Viking on a denim-clad horse. I see a female-cleavage-faced Viking on a denim-clad horse. Potato, po-tar-to.

  10. fred Says:

    The fabled missing stanzas from “Horse With No Name”.

  11. Joachim Boaz Says:

    wait, I don’t understand, is that actually SUPPOSED to be a face?!?

  12. Alessandra Kelley Says:

    @Phil: I did notice, while researching this title, that *none* of the online booksellers show a cover image for it. It is a reprint of an earlier, 1964 edition, which has a considerably better cover, albeit an abstract one.

  13. Scott B Says:

    Abstract would be much preferred to whatever the heck this is! Really, I don’t have words for this. I think it’s making my *brain* abstract…

  14. Yoss Says:

    I wanted to make a joke, but when in the presence of true greatness I’ll just stay out of the way. I mean, the dude has a butt for a face. Somebody drew it that way and somebody else approved it.

    Heheh, butt for a face.

  15. THX 1138 Says:

    Wasn’t this a South Park episode? Shouldn’t there be a sheep over the face to protect our delicate sensibilities?

  16. SI Says:

    @THX – I think even space sheep won’t cover some things. Who knows where that bum face has been!

  17. Green Says:

    We ask enough of Dolly, this would make her the butt of too many jokes.

  18. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    Warrior-dude, your horse-thing may be fugly as hell, but at at least it doesn’t have someone’s butt-end for a face.

  19. towrope Says:


  20. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    A.R.Yngve Says: “They’re not gonna let that one into Valhalla, that’s for sure….”

    That one floored me!

  21. FearofMusic Says:

    All this time and no one has said it? Well alright then…give’s new meaning to the phrase “Give us a kiss on the cheek now..”
    Now I feel cheap and dirty…and I rather like it!

  22. JuanPaul Says:

    So this alien walks up to me and says, “hey, buddy, got a match?”.
    And I says, “Yeah, my butt and your face!”

  23. StevenLP Says:

    The consensus appears to be the face is a pair of buttocks, but surely they’re breasts – aren’t the (rather highly perched) nipples doubling as eyes?

  24. Bibliomancer Says:

    Boobs and not butts you say?! We’re going to have to investigate this VERRRY closely. Here is the best resolution I can find (its an eBay completed listing so I don’t know if the image will be up forever). To the Boob-O-Scope!

    Perhaps Tag Wizard can snag that JPEG for the GSS archives.

  25. Tag Wizard Says:

    The listing is already down for me old chap. Does anyone have a contact for Bob Fowke? Perhaps he has the original work hung above his dining hall fireplace…

  26. Tat Wood Says:

    It’s about a third of the way down, so you may have to scroll a bit, but it’s still there and ready for its close-up.

    If you look closer, you can see some really weird things people have used as tombstones.

  27. Tag Wizard Says:

    Alright, I’m convinced. Thanks crew (and thanks StevenLP).

    Terrifying, really.

  28. Bibliomancer Says:

    Now that I think about it, a butt-faced Viking in Samurai armor on a unicorn dinosaur horse on a book called Connoisseurs’s Science Fiction never did make much sense. Of course, it was boobs all along!

  29. StevenLP Says:

    The sad thing is, if the artist hadn’t gone for a boob face (or even a butt face) then the cover would have been pretty good – it’s full of interesting things, but once you notice what’s propping up the helmet it’s all reduced to silliness. Of course, it’s connection to a book called ‘Connoisseurs’s Science Fiction’ seems limited: but I’ve never felt strongly that cover art should match content, all I ask for from a SF/Fantasy cover is a striking image.

  30. Connoisseur’s Tom Noir Says:

    Hey, does that horse have its own sword??

  31. anon Says:

    @TN: You mean your horses don’t have their own swords?

  32. Anna T. Says:

    @Tag Wizard: Arseface the Viking has a beard. I smell a needed tag . . .

  33. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @fred, #10: No, the answer to The Smiths’ Is It Really So Strange?.

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