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May 25

Another centaur suffering from big-arm syndrome.Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Joachim’s Comments: Egg, breaks. Out comes — wait for it! Naked CENTAUR, white hair, breasts swinging, incredibly muscled man in undies and funny shoes trampled… The connecting horse/woman segment looks a tad off…
Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.83 out of 10)
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23 Responses to “Satellite 54-Zero”

  1. Alessandra Kelley Says:

    Okay, maybe I’m in the minority here, but I rather like this cover. Aspects of it could be better handled (I am more concerned about the centaur’s arms than her waist), but I am intrigued by the imagery and the symbolism.

  2. THX 1138 Says:

    The 2052 Horse of the Year Show dressage takes a tragic turn…

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Why is there a wrecking ball swinging back on itself? And why does it look like it’s wrapping around the pterodactyl in the lower left corner?

  4. Michael Toland Says:

    “I know – if I give everybody lots of muscles, they won’t notice I failed basic anatomy!”

  5. Lulu Says:

    Maybe I’m out in left field here, but there’s something about this that seems reminiscent of Dali: http://salvadordalipaintings.blogspot.com/2008/09/geopoliticus-child-watching-birth-of.html

  6. Vic Says:

    “So I mixed a woman with a male weight lifter’s left side and got a book cover contract!”

  7. fred Says:

    Cool. Author also did some mid 70’s Space 1999 books under another name.

  8. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    If the cover has anything to do with the novel, I hope it is only metaphorically. Centaur-women on a space-station/trashing a space-station seems a little silly, even for sci-fi.

  9. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    As usual, I spoke too soon:

    “An agent smuggles himself aboard a privately owned orbiting habitat because of suspicions about what might be happening there. His investigations turn up a plot involving genetic modification of living tissue.”

    There’s even an ebook

  10. Phil Says:

    They do say that there is a surprise inside every Kinder Egg.

  11. Muttley Says:

    I used to have a copy of that very same edition. The centaur is part of the story – as far as I remember it’s the product of some illegal research conducted on the eponymous Satellite. The protagonist is a spy, sent to find out what’s going on up there.

    A quick google tells me that the R stands for Rankine, and Douglas Rankine Mason also wrote under the name John Rankine.

  12. Tom Noir Says:

    Girl centaurs: not as sexy as you’d hoped.

  13. anon Says:

    If you think it’s bad to get kicked in the gonads, just wait until piss off a centaur.

  14. A.R.Yngve Says:

    If there’s one godawful SF tradition I’m glad is dead and buried, it’s the use of titles that sound like they were written by hopelessly nerdy engineers.

    This bad habit may have been founded by — surprise — Hugo Gernsback with the book title “Ralph 124C 41+”.

    Nowadays, nobody would get away with a title like “Satellite 54-Zero”. The book would have been called “EDEN IN ORBIT” or something. (The Baen release would have been called “WARSTATION BLOOD ZERO”.)

  15. anon Says:

    Satellite: 54 – Douglas R. Mason: 0

  16. Perry Armstrong Says:

    Ah yes, the simpler, quieter days of 1971, when even the mere notion that a research facility could possibly be “privately owned” somehow carried an inherent menace.

  17. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Perry: I think it’s the fact that it’s privately owned AND armed. Since private ownership of arms was frowned on. 😉

  18. anon Says:

    95% original
    It was wet. It landed in soot. One lady’s privates a full arm’s rearch away.
    ERASE 54 TITE LOLZ
    Largo Dumasson

  19. anon Says:

    Goddammit! I should learn how to grumblesmurfing read! Fornicating stray R’s!

    edit:
    It misses the satellite theme, but I missed it on the title as well so I guess this will have to do:
    Ace the wily waiter set a salad on Misty’s private furs and won a dollar…

  20. Jon Says:

    @anon: Now, now. Calm down. It looks to me like the centaur-lady’s arm might “re-arch”….

  21. Ray P Says:

    “As you can see, my young apprentice, your friends have failed. Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational privately-owned research station!”

  22. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @anon,19:

    Goddammit! I should learn how to grumblesmurfing read! Fornicating stray R’s!

    spells out the wicked, wicked truth!

    I, anon, did feel Mrs. Clinton’s mammaries. Truth! Why? Idiot bags. Fur rug drags goo.

  23. anon Says:

    @Dead Stuff With Big Teeth: It’s true, it’s true. I won’t tell you, but it’s true. It really is fantastic. I have a great life, I’m very successful, I’m really wealthy. It’s true, it’s true. It was fabulous, I’m a really smart guy, it was fantastic. It’s true.

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