Dec 13

Ok lets do this gun fight. Everyone got your... ah who am I kidding. Crane... you are screwed!Click for full image

Marmontoast Comments: Evidently, there really is a bird-like entity in the novel, deciding humanity’s fate. If only it could answer its mobile phone!
Published 1994

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.41 out of 10)

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36 Responses to “The Spoils of War”

  1. Phil Says:

    Look, armed lizards and armed rat-face hominids are gonna scare people away. Please add a cute bird. If not a cute bird, then an unarmed one. Thank you.

  2. L.B. Says:

    Are the spoils of war really 4 pounds 75? War is not only Hell, but it’s also cheap!

  3. PulpCovers Says:

    RT @GoodShowSir: New Book Cover: The Spoils of War

  4. Tom Noir Says:

    RAT DUDE: “Somebody close the freaking door! Were you guys born in a barn?!?

    Wait, nevermind.”

  5. Jon Says:

    I think what it says is that this book is the spoils of 4 pounds 75.

    Which seems a pretty bad deal to me.

  6. Kwyjor Says:

    Ahh, I remember that one. Final book of a trilogy. Alan Dean Foster was rarely particularly deep, but he could tell a good yarn.

    Until I saw this cover, it never really clicked that the Wais were bird-like. I got that they were covered in feathers, but my mind kept conjuring images of really ugly-looking muppets…

  7. THX 1138 Says:

    Never mind smash it up, this thing could break your arm.

  8. David Cowie Says:

    “A Novel By Alan Dean Foster”
    Was anybody expecting it to be a memoir?

  9. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Dude, your cock’s looking a bit droopy.


  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Horrid lizard-man. The head is awkwardly forced onto the body, with no sense that, you know, there might be muscles running under that skin. The left and right arms look nothing like each other, and the hands and abdomen both defy description, as though there were some kind of dense object behind the gun bending the light. The right thigh is much more muscular than the left. The two legs are foreshortened radically different lengths, so the lizard-man looks to be standing on a different surface than everything else.

  11. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    Is that supposed to be a rat guy? With fangs instead of giant incisors?

    At least the artist was nice enough to give the drooping bird little hands.

  12. Phil Says:

    Just realised where I’ve seen that bird before:

  13. Phil Says:

    Sorry, simpler link:

  14. Adam Roberts Says:

    Strong light-source from front and left. Shadows running towards us. Nooo!

  15. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Everyone is getting down on the placement of the bird for nothing…Don’t you guys see? It’s a means of transportation for our Mad Max there. This is a sci-fi novel after all, so he’s gotta ride something more “exotic” than a suped-up Ford Falcon XB Coupe!

  16. Stevie T Says:

    Human guy: “These are my spoils? I want a different war!”

  17. Tat Wood Says:

    Irked-looking bird: “These are my spoils?”

  18. Tat Wood Says:

    He says that in the voice of Johnny Morris, obviously.

  19. FearofMusic Says:

    What the heck kind of guns are thosr supposed to be? And is it just me or does ratman appear to be a large black man with a poorly drawn rat head photo-shoppef onto it? Fur on the head, but none on the body? And apparently although the ratmen have weapons technology they haven’t mastered the technology required to weave cloth. Then again, naked rat people with guns…much scarier then sensibly clothed rat people with guns.

  20. Phil Says:

    On the matter of clothing, only the man on the left is fully clothed, with his Simon Cowell high-waisted trousers. All other species are mostly bare…except for boots. You’d think a lizard would have tough enough skin to go without boots. Maybe there’s lots of broken glass among the spoils of this war.

  21. FearofMusic Says:

    Perhaps lizardy man is a closet Nancy Sinatra fan (but then, aren’t they all?)

  22. Don Hilliard Says:

    So we’ve gone from Hieronymus Bosch to heron-ymus bosh?

  23. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Old MacDonald had a farm, eee-ie, eee-ie, ooh…
    And on that farm he had some freaks, eee-ie, eee-ie, ooh…

  24. Arch9enius Says:

    “naked rat people with guns…much scarier then sensibly clothed rat people with guns.”

    Can’t speak for Homo Rattus, but such a thing as the ‘Butt Naked Brigade’ did actually exist.

  25. THX 1138 Says:

    What is it about a big space gun that makes lizard men stand legs akimbo?

  26. Francis Boyle Says:

    Snarling rat-person. Check. Roaring dino-person. Check. Brooding human-person. Check. Zany cartoon ostrich-person. WTF.

  27. JuanPaul Says:

    Ratman shouts, “It’s a trap!”

  28. fred Says:

    I am pondering the cost of toilet facilities for multi-species battle units engaged in intergalactic war. After millennia it’s probably come down to a communal litter box.

  29. JuanPaul Says:

    This must be the nightmare scenario that people who are against gays and transgender people in the military are afraid of. Seems pretty awesome to me.

  30. Tor Mented Says:

    This cover represents the last four years of the Chinese zodiac: The year of the crane, the rat-man, the lizard-man, and of course, the year of the David Duchovny.

  31. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Why is the bird wearing a bolo tie?

    Did Mr. Shaw miss “lighting and shadows” day at Unknown Artist Institute?

    Did Forbidden Planet have some nerve in asking 4 and 3/4 quid for this?

    @fred: Litter boxes don’t work in zero-g. They seem to have artificial gravity here (if that’s a ship they’re in, and not a shipping container), but what if it fails? I can’t think of anything else that would work, and I’m going to stop trying. Maybe their artificial gravity never, ever fails because science and ewwww.

    @Tor: much as I love me some Duchovny, has he ever been that buff?

  32. Tat Wood Says:

    The rat and the lizard are shouting to people out of shot. Who could possibly be more embarrassed than that stork about being on this cover? HR Pufnstuf?

    (That stork is eyeing potential customers with such disdain that I wonder if this is the wait-staff at a cosmic restaurant. Heavily armed, of course, because the meals keep trying to escape. Hence the tie.)

  33. GSS ex-noob Says:

    So the stork is the maitre d’ and the others are the bouncers?

    And stork is thinking “you can’t get good help these days”? Plus having disdain for the customers?

    Perhaps this quartet is the inner defenses, and rat and lizard are shouting at the outer line of bouncers to keep back the crowds “Don’t let them get out of their Space Ubers! Tell the space valets to turn away the space limos!”

    Maybe if you make it past stork, the Duchovnesque chap is the host who will seat you. He’s the only one with communications gear, maybe talking to the head waiter. Who’s probably another snooty stork.

  34. Tor Mented Says:

    @GSS ex-noob: I didn’t really consider his buffitudinal aspects, I just thought the face was a bit similar.

  35. THX 1138 Says:

    @GSS x-n #31: Has Duchovny ever been that buff? I think you’re forgetting the legendary Gratuitous Swimming Pool Scene from the early years of The X-Files, as spoofed on The Simpsons. Fair gave us viewers the vapours, so it did.

  36. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @THX: I could NEVER forget The Red Speedo Scene. I vapored with the best of ’em.

    But indeed that was the visual I had in mind when I posted my comment. This chap is definitely beefier, whereas double D has a more lean physique (Or had — we’ve all gotten a few more pounds in the past 25 years). The arms, particularly.

    Perhaps when Mulder is/was abducted by aliens and taken into the future or the far parts of the galaxy to become a waiter, he pumped iron.

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