Feb 18

Stranded on a alien planet... Janet expressed herself the only way she knew how... through interpretative dance!Click for full image

MisterBob’s Art Direction: Boobs? Don’t be silly, bums are in. And use up that orange paint.
Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.40 out of 10)

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28 Responses to “The Nowhere Hunt”

  1. SI Says:

    “Hey Bob! Check her out maybe we should go over and introduce ourselves… nah you’re right. This alien bubble isn’t going to slave over to the palace by itself!”

  2. A.R.Yngve Says:

    What a bummer.

    (Now this cover needs a parody version like the one John Scalzi and writer friends did…)

  3. A.R.Yngve Says:

    And dare I say:

  4. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Big bottom, big bottom…
    Talk about mudflaps, my girl’s got’em!
    Big bottom drives me out of my mind!
    How can I leave this behind…

    Actually, the cover makes Spinal Tap seem mature…

  5. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:


  6. Michael Toland Says:

    Bums wrapped tightly in cellophane, apparently.

  7. Ewan Says:

    a) Posed to avoid drawing hands and b) an incredibly porny pose – a graduate from the Greg Land School of Art?

  8. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @admin: I approve of the new tag.

  9. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Hunt the Space Witch seen from the backside!

  10. FearofMusic Says:

    This deserves a Look Behind You! tag. Or perhaps a Don’t Look Behind You tag.

    “Uhm, pardon miss, but you might rather not look back. Hordes of horny nervous nerdy pimply-faced pathetic boys and men are drooling over your bum.”

  11. FearofMusic Says:

    Oh, and also..naked kneeling on rough rock..ouch!

  12. David Cowie Says:

    I also approve of the Sir Mix-a-lot tag.

  13. fred Says:

    I have never heard of one being called a diadem. But if one has to be THE diadem then I won’t argue on this being THE one.

  14. Tom Noir Says:

    And THIS, ladies, is why you don’t wear clothing with a low melting point on Venus.

  15. Phil Says:

    Look out, your diadem is showing.

    I must be the only person to have looked beyond the lady’s cheeky pose, and looked at those creatures in the background. Which gave me a “wait a moment!” moment.

    Wait a moment! Those creatures have four arms. Each!

  16. THX 1138 Says:

    I would comment on this, but I can’t be arsed.

  17. Tat Wood Says:

    If the thing they’re lugging is a pearl, that’s one huge diadem. Or everyone in the picture is rice-size.

  18. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    “Ok, which wise guy left the winter tires on the carriage?”

  19. Rags Says:

    LuLu Lemon’s newest add campaign, cellophane workout pants (can also be used to mine for giant pearls on an alien planet).

  20. Stevie T Says:

    I always wondered what a “bubble-butt” looked like.

  21. Bibliomancer Says:

    Let the artist explain:

    “The story that this cover painting came from dealt with a young female spy that spent almost all of her time spying on a colony of ant-type aliens in a tropical forest. I ask you to notice the root by her feet. I made it look basically like fingers. A little extra every now and then to keep it interesting!” – Ken Kelly

  22. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:, then, in addition to the exploitive ‘apparel’ and pose, the artist proudly declares she’s being assaulted by plants?!? Is that really what I’m hearing here?

  23. Georgios Says:

    Film it and I’ll watch it. See ya, Janet!

  24. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    This picture reminded me of our first Clayton cover. Graphic designers, take note.

  25. A.R.Yngve Says:

    When they reprint the Foundation books (in time for the movie), we must DEMAND that every cover shows Hari Seldon — or a robot — in that butt-flaunting pose.

  26. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @AR: ro-butt?

  27. Anna T. Says:

    Everyone’s oohing and aahing over this woman’s arse, which leaves me to take note of the fact that her arm is seriously off. I think it’s supposed to be her right arm, but it looks like it’s been dislocated from her shoulder. And her left arm seems to be nonexistent. She seems to be in need of medical assistance.

    @Tag Wizard – an “Anatomical Issues” tag would be appreciated!

  28. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    This seems to be the proper place for this link.

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