Mar 14
Click for full imageGood Show Sir’s Art Direction: Man climbing stairs to heaven, a grandfather clock with an axe for a pendulum. I think there is only one way I can improve this masterpiece… it has to shine… and I mean literally! Get the silver glossy shiny cover people on the phone, I’ve got another one for them to perfect!
Published 1992 (maybe)
Many thanks to Ethan for sending this in!
(Average: 7.08 out of 10)
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(9.25 out of 10)
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March 14th, 2013 at 9:57 am
Judging by Mr King’s description this could be L. Ron’s autobiography. Apart from the bit about being really good.
March 14th, 2013 at 10:50 am
This is my axe clock… that is my meat cleaver chandelier… and in the mean time have a seat on my shotgun sofa.
March 14th, 2013 at 11:03 am
I suspect that the full King line was something like: A classic tale of creeping surreal menace and horror is ‘Murders of the Rue Morgue’, which, like most of L Ron Hubbard’s writing, proves that a massively dumb idea can stick in your head far more than one of the really, really good ones. The difference is that Poe didn’t found a tax-dodge religion on Parisian monkey-criminals.
March 14th, 2013 at 1:01 pm
Fear. Do you have fear? Is your clock trying to kill you? Are your appliances conspiring against you while you sleep? No need to seek professional help. We have the solution. We have what you need. We have the key to freedom from the threat of death via household furnishings. We have a couple of soup cans hooked to a low voltage continuous power source. All YOU need is US. All we need is ALL your money. Then you too can enjoy wondrous tomes like this. Really, wouldn’t you rather be clear, then slaughtered mercilessly by yourrefrigerator?
Think about it. But not too much. Thinking is bad…
March 14th, 2013 at 1:20 pm
This is a horror/suspense novel, not sci-fi/fantasy. I would reconsider if that were a cat person climbing the infinite stairs. Plus, let me quibble about the tags: hunk, font problems, wtf? Really? Wtf indeed.
March 14th, 2013 at 2:33 pm
Good to see that Ubbar is once again being bracketed by the letters H and D. Is the man on the cover really being propelled upward by a purple cloud emanating from his lower half – or is that just a reflection in the oh so shiny cover?
March 14th, 2013 at 4:04 pm
If this was the Sopranos the clock would be set to 3:00 and we would be spending the week trying to decipher the symbology of the scene. And why wasn’t the F invited to the EAR party?
March 14th, 2013 at 4:50 pm
So your thetan is suffering because of a failure a billion years, I mean million years ago, to escape the IRS and space psychiatrists by climbing the space stairs in time. The only way to get beyond this block and become open is to write me a blank check. Next!
March 14th, 2013 at 4:56 pm
@Fred: A & R were afraid that F & E would get together in the kitchen. Their grotesquely deformed offspring, vaguely resembling a demon-winged A, would frighten the buyers. I mean, frighten them even more.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:12 pm
@Fred: What time is it on The Clock of Death? Between the swirling mists of terror and the distraction of the gargantuan hovering Ubbard I can’t make it out.
March 14th, 2013 at 8:36 pm
Repairman: “Now I see why your clock is broken… you’ve replaced the pendulum with an axe! See how it chops a hole in the side wall?”
March 14th, 2013 at 11:10 pm
@Fear: It is either 1:40 or 8:10 I think.
March 15th, 2013 at 12:07 am
@Fred: Thank you sir. My eyes were watering too much to see that clearly.
March 15th, 2013 at 1:43 pm
All we have to fear is… unnaturally shiny book covers and clock axe pendulums!
March 18th, 2013 at 6:50 pm
If you look closely enough at the clouds you can see several celebrity scientologists’ faces…I guess time ran out for them 😛