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Apr 02

No... a bit more to the left... man... why did I bring a blind gunner with me.Click for full image

David J’s Art Direction: These cat people are so pass. Let’s try a hyena man. But they are dangerous, so let’s cover our bodies with armour. Except for the thighs. They never go for the thighs. Add in a laser that looks like you have an estate agent measuring your loft and you have 1980s sci-fi heaven.
Published 1980

You might remember The Battle of Forever from here!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.10 out of 10)
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22 Responses to “The Battle of Forever”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    “Sorry, it just went off in my hand!”

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    The perspective is so wonky, everything looks like it’s happening in a single plane.

  3. JuanPaul Says:

    That is one long light saber. He must be compensating for something.

  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    looks more like the battle of whatever

  5. SI Says:

    “Looks like I didn’t go to broadway dance school for nothing… time to shine….”

  6. FeàrofMusiç Says:

    I salute the artist. Not easy to take a battle, a ‘space battle’ mind you, and remove any trace of action, motion, or tension in your depiction. Take that, conventional dictates of composition!!

  7. Tom Noir Says:

    “You there! Move more to the left, so my soldier’s ray blast can hit you!”

  8. Jaouad Says:

    I’m not surprised the composition is somewhat lacking. The soldier on the right appears to be firing directly at the artist. How would you feel if somebody took a shot at you while you were painting them?

  9. Rags Says:

    Captain: “Human to my right, FIRE!!”
    (Gomer and Goober fire, missing badly)

    Captain: “Damnit, no MY right.”
    (Goober blasts the Captain in the thigh)

    Captain: “Agggghhhh…”
    Gomer: “Nice shooting Goob….aggghhhhh”
    (Goober blasts Gomer)

    Goober: “Take that you filthy human!”
    Captain: “Damnit Goob, you shot us both.”
    (Goober blasts again, hitting the ships vending machine, chocolate bars spray everywhere)

    Human: (laughing) What planet are you all from?

    Goober: “Blindtopia! Long live the republic!!!
    (Goober salutes by bringing the blaster to his head, blasts his head off)

    Human: (facepalm) Oh boy…..

  10. fred Says:

    I am trying to think of a logical reason why they have paper towel dispensers attached to the back of their helmets.

  11. Stevie T Says:

    Nothing says “best protection in a space battle” like spray-on silver swimsuits…

    Or maybe they lost a bet to green jumpsuit-guy and had to take off their uniforms, and that’s why laser-guy is angry and firing at him (and apparently is a lousy shot).

    And what in the world is that lying on the floor? The cast-off uniforms?

  12. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Stevie: the parts, maybe?

    ‘When Steve Greenjeans, Interplanetary Explorer, found the easily assembled human remains in the Corridor of Extreme Flatness, he had no idea that they would turn on him in…THE BATTLE OF FOREVER!’

  13. Adam Roberts Says:

    Their boots! Their boots are clearly much too tight! It’s painful to look at.

  14. Tat Wood Says:

    That week’s episode of ‘Knightmare’ was blighted by someone in a green leotard wandering in and asking for directions to the studio where they make ‘Gambit’ with Fred Dinage.

  15. JuanPaul Says:

    It seems like each of these hyena-men has a different agenda.

  16. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I know that John W. Campbell Jr. (famous editor of ASTOUNDING) insisted that humans should always outsmart aliens in every story… but surely this cover took the edict too far.

  17. Stevie T Says:

    @ Dead Stuff: ….Heh…”the Corridor of Extreme Flatness” Indeed!

    “We thought they were just harmless shapes, but our illusions were shattered when they invaded in the riveting sequel to Flatland, THE BATTLE OF FOREVER”

    Of course, maybe the simple explanantion is that Lt. Greenjeans there has just put up some stylish vinyl wall artwork and has just stepped back to admire his handiwork, including lining up one of the guns with the randomly firing laser probe. The stuff on the floor are the discarded vinyl rolls….

  18. A.R.Yngve Says:

    David J. comments “Add in a laser that looks like you have an estate agent measuring your loft and you have 1980s sci-fi heaven.”

    I almost could have believed they WERE real estate agents… if only for the fact that they don’t look inhuman and sinister enough.

  19. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Serious alien codpiece action going on here. Forsooth!

  20. Rev Says:

    “This battle is taking forever”
    “You can say that again…”

  21. anon Says:

    Hyena people? That does explain the hairy legs, but shouldn’t there be some other indications as well?

  22. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @anon: ‘prehensile clitorises’ is a difficult idea to convey on the scale of the cover.

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