Apr 03

Look I maybe an alien entity of fire... But I ain't dating a girl with only four digits!Click for full image

Bibliomancer’s Art Direction:OK so you painted an awesome space fire monster, and the iron moons are cool, and you even got the starfield in the corner, but aren’t you forgetting something? Yeah, girl ass. And make it blue. She’s an alien. You think these paperbacks just sell themselves?”
Published 1971

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.64 out of 10)

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23 Responses to “The Ballad of Beta 2”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    “That’s it – next time I use the sunbed.”

  2. Tom Noir Says:

    “And how would you like your Cajun Blackened Char-burger cooked, Mr. Hellscorcher?”

  3. SI Says:

    “He’s one hell of a christmas tree decorator, but he does burn a few balls!”

  4. FearofMusıc Says:

    “Pay no attention to the fiery tendrils slipping up your right leg. Of course I respect you for your mind, tiny as it and you are. What? No I am not a fire elf! It’ s the ears, isn’t it?”

  5. Danosaur Says:

    “I like blue butts, and I cannot lie…”

  6. fred Says:

    Fire dude must have a hell of a time finding a dentist.

  7. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Between the distant stars lay terror.
    Between the nearby stars lay joy, and security, and ice cream for everybody!

  8. Adam Roberts Says:

    *sings* “heyyyy … your sex is on fire …”

  9. Frank Says:

    Aw shucky darn, this was in my queue but this copy’s not so frayed around its edges. Anyway, my thought was who’s really feeling the terror here, blue girl or space fire monster?

    Kelly Freas was a master, but he does seem to have enjoyed working uncovered lasses into his SF cover art. He’s not alone in that, and I’m sure it sold some books! Examples to be appearing in Our Good Host’s slush pile soonish.

  10. JuanPaul Says:

    I actually kind of like this cover. It’s cheesy, but in a classic way.

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Fire? No, of course I’m not made of fire. Fire can’t exist in space. It would be as absurd as a naked blue woman stand atop an iron moon. I am made of crepe paper streamers that give a fiery effect when whipped by interstellar winds. Nice bum, by the way.

  12. Tat Wood Says:

    Her bum makes me think of ‘Dougal and the Blue Cat’

  13. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Did anyone else read the title as “The Ballad of Beta…Between the 2 distant stars lay terror”?

  14. Tom Noir Says:

    Between the distant stars lay badonkadonk!

  15. Tom Noir Says:

    By the way, this was much inferior to The Ballad of Beta 1. I hate it when publishers make authors pump out cheap sequels!

  16. Anna T. Says:

    Is she supposed to be a naked blue alien girl, or an alien woman in a sleeveless blue catsuit?

  17. Jon K. Says:

    Anyone else see the face on her posterior? The two dots just above the vertical split and all….


  18. Tat Wood Says:

    @Jon K: I said that three years ago, if a little obliquely.

  19. Jon K. Says:

    @Tat: Oops, sorry. Pardon my USA-centrism. 🙂

  20. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @AS: Indeed…perhaps the distant terror is at a stable LaGrange point?

  21. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    A Snog of Ice and Fire

    I’m fairly certain I’m the first one to make that joke, ever.

  22. Bibliomancer Says:

    @DSWBT – More like A Song of Ass and Fire. Amirite?

  23. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @B’mancer: Amirite is right here, my good man. 😉

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