Aug 28
So with a title like this, one has to be careful. I was thinking of a sweeping landscape and a storm brewing on the horizon. Silhouetted over the coming clouds and setting sun would be some hands in chains and…… Sorry? You just want busty sword welding chicks and a chained male. Ha! Who would approve that?
(Slightly breaks our rules as this is probably comedy – but it is another bank holiday weekend for UK readers! Have fun!)
August 28th, 2009 at 11:26 am
You’d think the blonde would be a little more concerned, and less smug with the brunette wielding her sword so menacingly…
But hey, I suppose if she’s already got the man chained to the post…
Perhaps that’s where I’ve been going wrong all these years?
August 28th, 2009 at 11:48 am
Chicks in Chainmail series, edited by Esther Friesner:
* Chicks in Chainmail
* Did You Say Chicks?!
* Chicks ‘n Chained Males
* The Chick is in the Mail
* Turn the Other Chick
π
August 28th, 2009 at 12:07 pm
good lord.
aparently they dont need any armour, except from their knees down… and whats that i see… shoulder pads? They’ll keep her safe.
Its hard to make fun of a book thats clearly comedy… but i’ll still try π
1. I love that the author is too ashamed to even have their name on the book, only edited by credits on the cover.
2. Atleast 4 distinct fonts on the cover. Awesome
Roses, i think the key thing is to wear shoulder pads… I can tell you guys love them. the bikini and thong are vastly over-rated, just wear what u normally do, but add massive (and i mean massive) shoulder pads… that will definately get some attention…
August 28th, 2009 at 12:48 pm
I do love that the guy looks so normal.
Shoulder pads are definatly the new IN thing π
August 28th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
AND… so who did write this?
Roses, you definatly need to shoulder pad yourself up, grab some sort of battle axe and get out on the streets to grab yerself a man! It’s the modern way… according to the interMAnet.
August 28th, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Right, thanks for your excellent dressing advice…shoulder pads it is.
Umm…so what about the tin bra and thong? Should I keep them anyway? and the stiletto thigh length boots?
August 28th, 2009 at 2:51 pm
They certainly won’t do any harm, try to get get a head band of some description too.
And you know what they say about jobs, “its easier to get a new one if you already have one”, its true here too. Advertise on craigslist to see if anyone will follow you arround in a collar and chain for a few days then you’ll literally have to fight people off you (girls too), which is what seems to be happening on the cover of this book stangely enough…
August 28th, 2009 at 3:52 pm
Strangely enough I doubt you would find any shortage of men on craigslist willing to follow you around in a chain collar!
That scares me a bit….
August 28th, 2009 at 10:25 pm
Larry Elmore for the win!
He pretty much specializes in this sort of thing. You should see some of his Dragonlance stuff. Oh, and the cover the Fantasy Hero Companion Volume 1….
August 29th, 2009 at 6:43 pm
Nice!
I should have realised… after all, possibly having some dragonlance books *coughs* Uh oh I mentioned that out loud didn’t I.
April 30th, 2010 at 9:25 am
IMO, “Politically Correct” trash…
Don’t get me wrong, I actually have much of this series, there was one real good author in there, the stories later collected in “Mathemagics” titled book. About a lady from a “Fantasy” universe finding a way to transport to the “Real” universe. So she “Works” in the stereotypical RPG stuff (slaying orcs, duels, etc.) but then runs back to the “Safer but more boring” real world to raise her daughters, and gold goes a lot farther… The title comes from that the “Magick” system in the fantasy was connected to Mathematics and her daughter’s Math Teacher ended up becoming a great wizard since he could rationally use the formula and knew math and how to calculate better than the native wizards.
The rest of the stories… IMO, they just wanted to bury the “Gor” zombie long after it hadn’t been published in a decade. Have heroic WOMEN as the barbarians rather than what the barbarian carries off to ravage, that’s “PC” for you.
April 30th, 2010 at 4:31 pm
Word : )
August 2nd, 2019 at 4:50 pm
I can see why the people who commented above haven’t been back lately.
Odd that something from twenty years ago seems so ancient. It looks like it’s from fifteen years before that (when Sam Fox was still making records).
August 2nd, 2019 at 7:10 pm
Ok, so the woman on the left is doing the “show the reader my breasts and buttocks simultaneously” thing, but what’s going on with her head. Has she put too much strain on her body and snapped her neck. Or is she just a trouble* of tribbles in a skin suit.
*I assume that’s the correct collective noun.
August 2nd, 2019 at 7:31 pm
‘The Chick is in the Mail’ for the win,
http://lcrazzy1.narod.ru/image/fantasy/larry_elmore/Elmore_Larry_117_The_Chick_Is_In_The_Mail.jpg
August 2nd, 2019 at 8:26 pm
@Francis: Maybe her wig’s slipped and is covering her face. Or maybe she wears her hair like Cousin It.
August 2nd, 2019 at 10:54 pm
The experienced Bikini Barbarian hunter knows all you have to do is stake out an Average Joe in the woods and wait: they will come, they will come…
August 2nd, 2019 at 11:24 pm
This is one of the few books I’ll buy from this publisher — the stories are generally funny and clever, and the authors and editor do proofread them so they aren’t littered with typos and such like their usual offerings. Also, not so much with the bimbos and automatic weapons.
With these covers, of course, I do not read them on the bus.
@Tat: Your explanations are the only hope for her pose to make sense. I think her wig’s slipped; thus the confident smile on the blonde.
August 3rd, 2019 at 9:58 am
This is what happens when the office gets tired of paintballing weekends.
August 3rd, 2019 at 12:36 pm
These look like d&d figurines painted by a way too enthusiastic nerd. Represented here by Dave from Accounting.
August 4th, 2019 at 5:01 am
“Ha! Your cheap breast-buttock contortion tricks are pathetic. Plus your wig has slid over your face. I show my complete disdain for you as well as my confidence that Dave here is all mine, through the angle of myβveryβ jaunty hip!”
August 6th, 2019 at 8:14 am
One would think that ladies of this pneumatic build and way with weapons could do so much better than Dave.