preload
May 22

Man servant! Bring my my spare loincloth!Click for full UNSHEEPED image

Patrick Comments: The progression from slain beast through the submissive man to the woman serves to accentuate to a striking degree her dominance: her beauty, her haughty and self-satisfied expression, her weapon and last but not least her fantastic norks… Stunning!
Published 1974

You might remember Glory Road from here!
And here!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.03 out of 10)
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40 Responses to “Glory Road”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    One of these people is hot! Oh, it’s the little bald guy – a ruff in the desert? He must be boiling.

  2. SI Says:

    I just love how unimpressed the man servant looks.

  3. lilacsigil Says:

    I had this book but I was so embarrassed by the cover (as a 15-year-old girl reading on the school bus) that I had to make my own fake cover for it and stick it over the top.

  4. Valerie Says:

    Is there a TRex in the Story? How did she killed it, if only by a magical or poisonned dart? Or by her icy stare, because, her bow doesn’t seem to have a string. And what the little blue man brings on the silver plate. Business cards?

  5. Valerie Says:

    I didn’t see the glass on the silver plate… Cognac and TRex? It can only be time-travelers on a Jurassic Safari!

  6. Tom Hering Says:

    “I hate this part. Walk between her legs. Stop on the other side. Let her polish my head with her loincloth. Then turn around and walk through again. All without spilling the wine. … You’d think killing a big beast would be enough for her! But no! She’s got to degrade the little man too! … I really need to find a better job.”

  7. Bibliomancer Says:

    You have the “hunk” in the tags but the hunk is missing from the cover. The hunk hero of the story is “Scar” Gordon who is recruited by the babe to help fight their way up Glory Road to their destiny. Bruce Pennington painted those Glory Boobs so huge he couldn’t find space for him on the cover.

  8. FeáofMusic Says:

    Fantastic piece of work! Definitely worthy of a Heinlein novel!

    Yeah.

    Barefoot in the desert, great idea. And what is up with the dwarf there? Look at his right leg and foot. That just looks painful.

    First British edition and it was graced by this. Well, there must be some sort of comment here about the author or British readers. There must be.

  9. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Valerie—as I carefully, and more carefully, and even more carefully study the cover—for its artistic qualities, of course—I do notice a faint bowstring. It is however, not real clear where it rests on her booby, er, body.

  10. Phil Says:

    Little guy is colour co-ordinated with T Rex. I’m trying to come up with a pun about his quiver, but can’t think of anything. He’s all a-quiver? No, that doesn’t quite work.

  11. Tom Hering Says:

    The strap for his quiver runs the wrong way. And she’s got a case of camel toe, which means she’s been wearing dress shoes for years. And her arrow didn’t strike anywhere near that dino’s little brain.

  12. fred Says:

    Pink nail polish on left hand, white on the right? Or pink on the thumbs, white on the fingers.

  13. FéarofMüsic Says:

    Oh yes, wonderful piece of work! A truly worthy cover for a first British edition from a acclaimed author! Beautiful!

    Yeah.

    Barefoot in the desert, wonderful idea. Feet,unlike her jouncy gazoongas, will be coming into contact with hot rocks, rough surfaces, her warped little dwarfs’ behind. Just a bad idea. And look at dandy dwarf mans right leg. That just looks painful.

    1974. Hmm. Wonder how many readers of this first edition spent the later years of the decade gathered around kitchen tables for all night sessions of D&D ?

    Besides me, I mean.

  14. Kwyjor Says:

    How appalling, to think that the cover artist dared to sully Heinlein’s work with nudity! He would never have truck with such tastelessness! Except maybe on days ending in “y”.

    “Hugo Award Winner” appears to cleverly be referring to the author himself rather than to the book, which was only nominated (for some strange reason).

  15. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Kwyjor—Judging by its location on the cover, I think “Hugo Award Winner” is a typo and should be “Huge Award Winners,” referring to, well, you know.

  16. Bibliomancer Says:

    @B.Chiclitz – This edition won both the Huge-O and Neboobla Awards.

  17. Bokrug the Beleagured Says:

    Nasty poorly drawn comic book woman! ” I am Bokrug the Beleagured. You killed my father, prepare to die!”

  18. Tom Hering Says:

    This art was originally intended for a travel poster of the future. “Come to the nude beaches of St. Tropez, where you can bowhunt cloned dinosaurs as you run through the surf! Then relax with food and drinks that are served on the sand! Of course, breast enlargement and other plastic surgery is always available at any of our conveniently located, robotic-doctor kiosks. We can even color the sky to match your new naughty bits!”

  19. Jaouad Says:

    ‘Hey, my eyes are up here! I didn’t spend hours in front of the mirror conditioning my hair and applying eye shadow, lipstick and nail polish just to kill some dumb dinosaur, you know!’

  20. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Recently I picked this book up from a recycling depot (what luck!) and it had the same cover in a Swedish edition.

    I can confirm that all the stuff on the cover is in the book. And it’s a weird one. Almost like Heinlein set out to write a satire of Fantasy, with some preaching of Free Love thrown in. Lots of nudity too. In some ways GLORY ROAD feels like a dress rehearsal for STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND. (Or should I say “UNdress rehearsal”, har har…)

  21. Tom Hering Says:

    I believe it was John W. Campbell who said something like, “Heinlein can write with one hand tied behind his back. I just wish he’d keep the other one out of his pants.”

  22. JuanPaul Says:

    There sure are a lot pointy things on this cover.

  23. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Bokrug the Beleagured 16—Excuse me, your Loathsomeness, but I think you have wandered into the wrong book. I believe the text you are actually seeking is titled:

    THE BAZOOMS THAT CAME TO SARNATH!

    Understandable error, all things considered.

  24. Tat Wood Says:

    I often wondered what Marina did after they stopped making ‘Stingray’

  25. Phil Says:

    I fear this artwork may have inspired Heinlein’s worst-ever line, in his later work THE NUMBER OF THE BEAST: the oft-quoted and never-forgotten “Her nipples went spung!”

  26. Rags Says:

    Boobs seem to be the body part of choice on many of the covers! Probably a ploy to distract the male villains.

    Villain: “Hey baby, how you doin?
    (arrow to the eye)
    Villain: “Agggh, i did not see that coming…”

  27. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    Based on the unsheeped image I’m surprised she didn’t kill the dinosaur by jabbing its eyes out with her freshly-honed nips.

  28. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I keep wondering why the fastidious little man is frowning. Doesn’t he realize he’s on the glory road?

  29. Bibliomancer Says:

    @B. Chicklitz – He also doesn’t realize there is a Glory Hole on the Glory Road.

  30. Stevie T Says:

    “Why, yes, I did have anti-gravs implanted in my mammaries. Why do you ask?”

  31. Gery Says:

    lilacsigil: “I had this book but I was so embarrassed by the cover (as a 15-year-old girl reading on the school bus) that I had to make my own fake cover for it and stick it over the top”.

    I also read it on the bus to and from school aged 15, during the period I was devouring everything Heinlein had ever written, and wish I’d thought about a cover – the bus didn’t bother me but my teacher asking which book I was reading and then insisting on seeing the cover was a major embarrassment.

  32. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Phil: I can confirm that there are female nipples going “spung!”(without the sound effect) in this book, too.

    Heinlein is also pretty funny in this book, when he doesn’t get preachy, making fun of the Baby Boomer Generation (look it up).

  33. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I’m fairly sure the little gentleman is backing away slowly so as not to attract her attention before he runs away and hides.

  34. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    I think the little man is trying to fight the urge to pee his pants.

  35. Robbie Says:

    “When you bring me a T-rex’s brain on a silver platter, I expect you to MINCE! Mince harder, dammit!”

  36. Jed Clodhead Says:

    I had this book many decades ago and had long forgotten the cover until I realised who Aneka Rice reminded me of.

  37. TB Says:

    As I recall the book, the location of the arrow on the cover isn’t exactly where the “dragon” got shot.

  38. Tom Noir Says:

    I hope what he’s bringing her on that platter is some pretty hefty sunblock.

  39. anon Says:

    “Fresh lizard snot as requested, madam. Now, if I may be so bold as to approch the subject of how to properly strap a quiver on the back of one’s servant…”

  40. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Miss Gazongas 1974 has a jaunty hip, don’t you think?

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