Jan 13

Look could we hurry up... I've put on a bit of weight over Christmas and this fixed breast plate is killing me. Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: I am SO sorry, Mrs. Goliath, I had no idea.
Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.88 out of 10)

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18 Responses to “Etruscans”

  1. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    That man is trying to birth Kamen Rider through his navel!

  2. SI Says:

    Damsel: I believe this is your thong…
    Hunk: Do you blame me for wanting to be comfortable?

  3. HappyBookwyrm Says:

    Man: Come on now, give me back my slingshot. And the rock.
    Woman: No, not until you trade me for that battle-ax.
    Man: Spoilsport.

  4. lauren f Says:

    She’s saying, “Honey, can you hold my purse? It’s my turn to throw the magical rock.”

  5. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Is it me or is that a shadowy arm and hand reaching out from the swirling waters and headed to a naughty place? Lower left.

    What would be the point of that? Subliminal stirring of the adolescent loin?

    Well, worked on me, at least . . . .

  6. Bibliomancer Says:

    This is the famous scene where the Etruscan witch races to reattach the warrior’s thong and scrotum before they both drown in the rising flood waters of the Tiber.

  7. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @BC: swirling waters? I thought they were knee-deep in candyfloss.

  8. fred Says:

    How the Etrusscans came to be named Etrusscans instead of Ebagofmagicbeanscans.

  9. THX 1138 Says:

    Aye, there’s a chill wind blowing through the Etruscans tonight, but they will insist on wearing those short skirts.

  10. Jaouad Says:

    It’s why his nose is red.

  11. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Boris Vallejo’s motto must be “I never met a muscle I didn’t like”….

  12. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “This your thong?”
    “Won’t fit my my schlong.”
    “So long.”


  13. Jeff Vader Says:

    From what I can tell a nice and accurate account of etruscan daily life.

  14. Stevie T Says:

    I love the body language here. It looks like he’s trying to explain where he’s been all night, and she’s handing him his luggage as she’s kicking him out:

    Him: Well it’s like this, see, there was this monster I had to pursue, and then there was this dungeon, and a cat-man I had to fight with a snake watching us, and then…

    Her: I don’t want to hear it! You were out partying with your space-guitar-gun playing friends again! I’ve packed your thong and nippy flask, and you can just get out!

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Da fuq does ANY of this have to do with Etruscans?

    Like, what’s with Ye Olde Phantasy Castle?

  16. JuanPaul Says:

    Bustina and Pectorus communicate by way of barely perceptible muscle movements.

  17. Longtime_Lurker Says:

    Fascinating that one of the Goodreads reviews notes that the cover art was embarrassing to explain to the kids. Why only the kids,I wonder.

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @L_L: Yes, really seems more embarassing to the adults who ought to have better taste than to read this on the bus. Or in front of their kids.

    At a really quick glance, his armor and ax make him look like a merman standing on his tail, which would at least explain the swirling waves. The castle would remain inexplicable.

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