Sep 24

What the heck are you shooting at? Land's the other way!Click for full image

A kids’ book? Well you know what kids love: FONTS, terrible fonts – gold outline! Give me: people animals… that’s right, I want a man weasel, man mouse, man rabbit and man mole all on there. Uh, best not make it too cutesy though, give the weasel a bow and arrow.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 4.16 out of 10)

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37 Responses to “Pearls of Lutra”

  1. CSA Says:

    Redwall was always a series i wanted to read as a kid but never got around to it.

    I can’t help but think your choice of book today might be controversial.
    I put it to you sir, that its a kids book and its meant to be shiny and have cheesy characters in heroic poses, because kids are stoopid and shiny is good.

    you dont see redwall in the scifi/fantasy section, you see it in kids/ young teens section… not that i hang around the kids/ young teens section lol

    The only thing i have to razz about on this cover its the wee tiny vole at the front with a tiny wee ore for rowing, is that tiny ore really propelling the boat at all?

  2. little mi Says:

    I don’t know CSA, it does have a weasle in dress and that is always something worth mocking at any age.

    Just because they’re young doesn’t mean they deserve this kind of thing. In fact it could be damaging to their fragile minds leaving them scared for life…and is that rabbit really wearing a bright orange life jacket?!

  3. SI Says:

    Controversial?! That’s what I’m all about. ๐Ÿ˜›

    I know, I did debate with myself if I should post this one but in the end I decided for it. The art and font is basically what a terrible fantasy cover would use anyway. I found it in a charity shop so I wasn’t sure at the time. (Just to clarify I wasn’t hanging about the kids section!)

  4. CSA Says:

    Mi you do have a valid point, i guess i readily accepted cheesy Narnia covers when i was young and that acceptance by kids accross the globe is what has lead to the terrible covers we have 2day. Is it a good thing?

    The weasel is clearly too cool for a life jacket, i bet the guy smokes 40 a day and doesnt wear a seat belt either… damn thats cool.

    The boat is about to topple over cause he’s standing too.

    SI: you running low on Baen books or just taking a break from posting them? ๐Ÿ˜‰

  5. SI Says:

    CSA: Just you wait for tomorrow…. just you wait ๐Ÿ˜‰

  6. CSA Says:

    You’re building expectations… now i expect atleast 1 scantilty clad female warior, some glowy magic, a magic sword, a dragon, some sort of alieny creature, some ghostlike image in the sky and the standard awful Baen orange embossed font…. atleast 3 of those is needed or im gonna be disapointed

  7. Roses Says:

    I’m sorry, but I’m having problems with the weasel in a dress…

  8. Ugotpwn3d Says:

    He could of just got out of his bed? His dressing gown?

  9. little mi Says:

    I think its that it has a strangley low cut scoped neck line that would be very flattering on a busty young lady but doesn’t really work so well on a weasel. Though perhaps this is all the rage in the magic world of long bow shooting animals.

  10. iwillconsumeyoursoul Says:

    Thats no weasel! She’s an otter! And also a phsycopath. Unlike you squares, I was obsessed with Redwall for quite a while.

  11. JustinLeego Says:

    Welcome to the site, iwcys! It’s good that you’re here to show us the way…

  12. SI Says:

    Here at GoodShowSir we like to think no comment goes checked ๐Ÿ˜‰

    And as the great Hewie Lewis says, ‘It’s hip to be a square’

    Oh yea.. it is an otter… And being female explains the skirt!

    I do believe I read a Redwall book when I was younger though I can’t anything about it. So I appologise iwillconsumeyoursoul ๐Ÿ™‚ BTW my soul tastes better with an expensive pino noir!

  13. Roses Says:

    A psychopathic otter in a dress…

    You know, I’m still not getting the ‘I must read this book’ feeling.

    The pills must be working.

  14. Lucy McGough Says:

    It’s not a mole. It’s a shrew.

    Yes, I read the books too.

  15. Tom Noir Says:

    Well, this is pretty interchangable with any of the Redwall covers. Read ’em as a youngster, sho’ nuff. They ARE in fact about woodland creatures who wear clothes and carry weapons in some sort of ye olde medieval realme, so really this is simple truth in advertising.

  16. Brian B Says:

    I get it that the Redwall novels are about talking animals who wear clothes and such. What strikes me about this and the other covers in series is how these look like more like animals standing awkwardly on their hind legs and forced into clothing made for humans. As opposed to the more anthropomorphic talking animals in–for example–Disney’s Robin Hood. This particular cover makes me think of “Mr. Bunnsy Has an Adventure” mentioned in Pratchett’s “The Amazing Maurice and his Educated Rodents.”

  17. Stevie T Says:

    I have the first 5 Redwall books, and the first 4 actually have quite nice covers, done in a sort of “tapestry” style. I stopped collecting them after the 5th book because they went to this sort of cover which really turned me off of the series (well, that and the fact that Brian Jacques couldn’t seem to write 2 books in chronological order). I recently noticed that you can’t get the first few books in the covers I have anymore.

  18. THX 1138 Says:

    The most controversial thing about this cover is the animals’ sliding squat thrust technique.

  19. รฉยญโ€รงลฝโ€น Says:

    I read all the Redwall books that came out up through when I was in Middleschool, and I must say, this is exactly what goes down in pretty much any given book: Anthropomorphic animals waging war with medieval weapons.

  20. A.R.Yngve Says:

    WEASELBO – First Blood in the Wind in the Willows, Part II

  21. Alessandra Kelley Says:

    This cover is just the right balance of realistic and stylized and impressionistic to be disturbing. Any direction would improve it.

    It’s realistic enough that the animals look creepy, but not so realistic that they become beautiful; cartoony enough that they look ridiculous, but not enough to make them sympathetic. Everything — water, animals, clothing, sky — looks painted with the same flat, bright, opaque color. There’s no light, no atmosphere, no depth.

  22. Tom Noir Says:

    Listen mouse, why bother wearing clothes if you’re not going to put on trousers??

  23. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Boaty McStoatFace.

  24. FluffyGhostKitten Says:

    In addition, that’s a hare, not a rabbit. Read every single one of these books. Including the one published posthumously. Would you believe there are 21 more like this?

  25. fred Says:

    Bloodthirsty barbarian bastards.

  26. Tat Wood Says:

    Where’s Hissing Sid when you need him?
    (You asked for it: 44 years of trying to forget this and you show me a cover that gives me flashbacks).

  27. fred Says:

    @ Tat: This is awesome, full album sides one and two.

  28. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I was thinking the head looked a little small even for a weasel. To find it’s an otter makes me think even more so. Even for a river otter.

    Also those life jackets are anachronistic for medieval-esque times, but I guess it’s to set a good example for the kiddies?

    I know moles like messing about in boats, but they seem to be on the open sea, or at least a large lake in broad daylight — is mole happy about this?

    @fred: headbanging

  29. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “Watch me shoot that seagull right in the head.”
    “Don’t be such a psycho, Susan.”

    I’ll note that otters belong to the group _Lutrinae_, so maybe the Pearls of Lutra are the otter family jewels?

    @Tat Wood, @fred: a fine find. As an Ammurican, Captain Beaky and his valiant band are new to me.

  30. MaxBathroom Says:

    It’s the rabbit’s face that gets me: “I’m just as tall as that bloody weasel, but he gets the bow and I’m rowing the boat! And they gave him the green dress as well. It’s just not fair!”

  31. GSS ex-noob Says:

    The hare does look righteously angry. One swipe of the oar and otter is overboard, then posing mouse. Mole gets mouse’s lifejacket, and he and hare paddle away in the boat or boats.

  32. GSS ex-noob Says:

    The hare does look righteously angry. One swipe of the oar and otter is overboard, then posing mouse. Mole gets mouse’s lifejacket, and he and hare paddle away in the boat or boats.

    @Bruce: I noticed that yesterday as well, but didn’t make the “family jewels” connection. GSS!

  33. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Looking at the embiggened version, the mole (shrew?) is in a smaller boat [1] which appears to be cutting ahead of the one with the mouse-otter-hare trio. Collision imminent?

    [1] Canoe?

  34. GSS ex-noob Says:

    It’s definitely pointy-nosed, so I’m going with shrew as well. He appears to be in a long dugout canoe/boat, presumably fashioned by beaver people.

    The critters in the main boat best hope he’s European, as some of the American ones are highly venomous. There also seem to be some other shrew canoes (say that three times fast) in the background. The most visible one is perhaps going to stage a collision and he and his buddies will leap onto the boat and that’s all she wrote for crazy otter, posing mouse, and surly hare. Down by poison and used as food, with the boat added to the Dread Pirate Vole fleet.

  35. Tor Mented Says:


  36. MaxBathroom Says:

    @GG & @Tor
    A fine name an emo band, I’d have thought…

  37. Lurkertype Says:

    @Max: Shrew Canoes, ft. the Dread Pirate Venomous Shrew. 10:00 Saturday, at a seedy venue near you! BYO angst!

    Shrew Canoes shoegaze.

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