Jan 30

Looks a bit more like a poleaxe to me!Click for full image

MisterBob’s Art Direction: How about a twist on the Excalibur motif, but an AXE instead of a sword. Clever, eh?
Published 1985 (maybe)

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.18 out of 10)

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35 Responses to “Axe: A Tale of Carthelion”

  1. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “AXE. For Men. Now also a deodorant. For Men.”

  2. Phil Says:

    The UK title of this book is, of course, LYNX.

  3. THX 1138 Says:

    Is the axe held aloft by an otter’s paw? What would such a beast need with this?

  4. SI Says:

    I think you always know the quality of the weapon, by the TING! And this TING! has many spikes to it. Must be a fine weapon… a fine weapon indeed.

  5. Tag Wizard Says:


    High Street Books in Derbyshire, UK, appears to have a copy of this printing. I wonder if they’d be open to telling us the cover artist credit… or maybe we should contact Frank himself…

  6. Bibliomancer Says:


    The jokes just write themselves for this cover.

  7. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Woe is Albion! The Lady of the Lake speared poor King Arthur, just as he was bending over to pick up the axe!”

  8. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Goodness, that’s a sweaty axe.

  9. Tat Wood Says:

    You loved the book? Now play the game You can even hear the spin-off concept album dubbed onto footage of bored kids rioting, but the full experience is available here

    God, the 80s were shite!

  10. GSS Admin Says:

    @Tat Wood… wow… did you search for those or did you know about them already?

    I am downloading a spectrum emulator this evening! By the screen shots I can only dream on the emergent game play! I’ll see everyone in a couple of weeks.

  11. L.B. Says:

    @A.R.Yngve: T’was the Otter of the Lake who laid the great king low!

  12. Tat Wood Says:

    @GSSA: I dimly remembered the game: the album came up when I went looking for it to confirm my hunch.

    I thought the novel was based on the game, in fact. Apparently not, and there was a sequel.

  13. Tom Noir Says:

    Strange women lying in ponds distributing axes is no basis for a system of government!

    Somebody had to say it.

  14. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Love that sine-wave access road leading up to the leaning castle that seems to consist of nothing but spires. Such is the geometry of Carthelion. Hope it never snows.

  15. Bibliomancer Says:

    We have the publisher:

    Now somebody contact the Unknown Artist Institute to see if the cover artist is an alumnus.

  16. fred Says:

    Quickly followed by the sequel “AXE and BOAT”.

  17. StevenLP Says:

    “The Album was written by Kev Vause, Steve Reynolds and John Simpson”. I choose to believe this the same John Simpson who’s BBC world affairs editor.

  18. Tag Wizard Says:

    Ooh, dunno. Is Knottingly the publisher or just the name of a Yorkshire town? The mystery is nearly as deep as that lake.

  19. Bibliomancer Says:

    Ok. the Publisher is “F.Oliver” :

    And I’ll guess he lives in Knottingly. Probably with his mum. Stop by for an autographed copy. I’ll wager the cover artist’s name is Oliver also.

  20. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I want more musical acts inspired by great fantasy literature! (We’ve got all the games already, it’s the musicians’ turn.)

    A heavy metal tribute to TWILIGHT, featuring the hit songs “Breaking Dawn To Pieces” and “Team Jacob Slashes Again”.

    Britney Spears Presents BUGGER ME BABY ONE MORE TIME
    A pop-rock tribute to ENDER’S GAME, featuring the hit song “Oops I Blew Up A Planet Again”

  21. Jaouad Says:

    And we have another cover, while F.Oliver’s website grants us a look into his humble mind: Probably The Most Profound Words You Will Ever Hear!

  22. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I wonder why the back cover says ‘?TCEPXEUOYDIDTAHWYLTCA’

  23. Tat Wood Says:

    @Jaouad: he forgot to say ‘And what I are needs no excuses’.

  24. rev Says:

    Is an axewound the same as a plumbers toolbag?
    Either way, these ones would be dripping wet.

  25. RachelJ Says:

    Anyone else keep reading it as Earthelion? Or is that just me?

    I do hope F. Oliver, author, artist, composer, publisher and philosopher, shows up here to protest. Then we can explain that naturally we had no more choice mocking his work than those poor, innocent mass-murderers have in mass-murdering!


  26. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    OLIVE: A Cart of Talehelion. By Ax Franker.

  27. HappyBookwyrm Says:

    My hat is off to the Tag Wizard here; there is a tag for axes AND for poleaxe.

    I like how the “A” is also (apparently) sharp because it goes TING!
    And it’s spelled the better way, not just ‘ax.’

  28. Phil Says:

    Careful measurement reveals that the title of the book is not AXE, but A XE. Thus the cover art is not literal, but is a clever punning interpretation of the title.

  29. Jaouad Says:

    @Phil: Verily A Zee Piers Anthony worthy!

  30. hep_c Says:

    Am I the only one who sees something wrong in how the lake surface reflects – well, everything?

  31. FeárofMúsic Says:

    TagWizard-Does this not also qualify for a ‘font problems’ tag? I’m not suretthe title actually falls into the realm of fonts, but surely that ‘Earthlion’ bit is egregious enough. Granted the words are the least of the problems here.

    I don’t think those tiny furry hands are holding up the weapon. I think they are desparately clinging to the haft as some merciless bastard bonks it on the head in an attempt to drown it in the swamp. Thus the spreading urine trail in the water.

  32. Anna T. Says:

    Is that sphere on the horizon supposed to be a SUN or a GAS GIANT? Because it looks like a gas giant to me.

  33. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @TW: a fonTing! we will go, a fonTing! we will go…

  34. Tag Wizard Says:

    @DSWBT – Oh yeah

  35. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Ting! and fonTing! right next to each other… might cause a rip in the space-time-book continuum.

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