Feb 11

At least you have leggings... all I have is this rodent bondage gear!Click for full image

MisterBOB Comments: Boobs and some teddy bear creature ready to defend her honour, but keep it real – furry rodents need sunglasses.
Published 1981

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)

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30 Responses to “In the Hands of Glory”

  1. Phil Says:

    If we’re going to have ’80s books like this, we need a “big hair” tag.

  2. Tag Wizard Says:


    Is that Sigourney Weaver or Lorde? Perhaps one of our pop culture experts can elucidate.

  3. rev Says:

    Why choose this pose?

    @TW I would have said Effie. Hello, good thanks.

  4. Tat Wood Says:

    For gimp-lemur’s left leg to be so far ahead of Ms Stretchpants’ right one, his right leg has to be a lot longer than his right or her left.

    Judging by her hair they must be in a very drafty passage, so she’ll wish she’d worn a jumper.

  5. THX 1138 Says:

    Gordon the Gopher: XTREME 3000.

  6. Bibliomancer Says:

    Font problems? Really? That’s the least of our problems. Discuss.

  7. rev Says:

    Here, hold this. Its my most deadly secret and you aren’t supposed to know about it yet so… no looking, ok? Just hold it real tight and don’t let it get cold. Good girl.

  8. Ae7flux Says:

    First known appearance of the CAPTCHA. Good thing, too. I don’t think this is the sort of book one would want one’s robo-servants to read.

  9. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The Timescape editor praised the cover art, saying that “instead of showing females as helpless and passive, this cover empowers women by clearly stating, ‘Hey ladies! You can be attractive and have great hair also in science fiction!'”

  10. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Imagine this cover used for the front page of COSMOPOLITAN, with suitable headlines:

    that won’t break in space

    be fabulous on other worlds

    Will they attract or repel him?

  11. Adam Roberts Says:

    I choose to believe they’re climbing out of a Phlegm Giant’s mouth. And that he really needs to see someone about his tonsils.

  12. SI Says:

    Step up into shape! With special guest… mole man!

  13. fearofmusic Says:

    The name is Netics. Dia Netics. And if you want to know the secret of The Patrol we’ll just need you to fill out this simple but extensive questionnaire. Grand! Now, if you would just hold these cans we can.. what’s that? No, I’m not Agent 007,I’m Agent 36DD.Why? No, I don’t know John Travolta or Beck. Why?

  14. Rags Says:

    The author tried out a few pseudonyms before settling with Eisenstein.

    – Mary Neweton
    – Amanda Linicoln
    – Willomina Churchilla
    – Tina Tessela
    – Sabrina Stalina

  15. Rags Says:

    I am getting a definate pimp vibe from the ray ban wearing weasel. No? its just me?

  16. fred Says:

    Fought? With what weapons? Oh…..

  17. Bibliomancer Says:

    “Say hello to my little friend!”

  18. Tat Wood Says:

    @Rags (14): The name ‘Eisenstein’ suggests ‘Battleship Potemkin’ or ‘Alexandr Nevsky’.Trouble is, if you’ve seen the former you’ll be expecting the fetish-marmoset to be commemorated on a statue (or rather two, one of it lying doggo and, in a quick edit, a similar one of it standing proud like Parsley )

  19. Tat Wood Says:

    Or maybe it would be Mary Tyler-Moore’s luxuriant wig that springs to rampancy when danger’s afoot.

    (If you’d told me this morning that I was going to type a sentence such as that…)

  20. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Witness the escape from the lava lamp!

  21. Jeff Vader Says:

    Once Kinky the polecat had found a raygun small enough for his dainty paws he wasn’t going to let anybody take it away from him.

    I’d like to think it makes a high pitched “pi-cheew! pi-cweew!” sound when fired.

  22. HappyBookwyrm Says:

    I’m a little disappointed that a book with a title like “In the Hands of Glory” doesn’t have giant glowing hands on it. Unless her name is Glory?

  23. RachelJ Says:

    @HappyBookwyrm. Well, the cover would have us believe the protagonist is one “Dia”, but I don’t see why Dia can’t be the rat-thing.

  24. eliddell Says:

    Am I the only one who things those stalactites are disturbingly phallic? I mean, more so than regular stalactites? Oy vey.

  25. Jaouad Says:

    @HappyBookwyrn: In the inevitable TV mini-series, Glory will be portrayed by Clare Kramer.

  26. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Same cave?

    ‘Oh my God, is that Rachel over there? Talking to that priapulid wyrm? Come on, Kevin. We’re leaving. We’re leaving right now.’

  27. Tom Noir Says:

    “Dia honored and fought for the law of the Perm… until she learned its deadly secret.”


  28. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Predictably, the nerds went berserk over Rocket’s re-design, rather than Groot’s.

  29. fred Says:

    I think covers like this should be tagged with ‘reverse Frazetta’.

  30. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @fred: I think “Rowena” captures it all. She was a fave artist of Saddam, never forget.

    @Tat: Is this an example of “legs are hard to draw”?

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