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Nov 16

Walking on tentacles? That's just cilia!Click for full image

Tag Wizard Comments: And needless to say: Amateurs in Artistry
Published 1952

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.36 out of 10)
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22 Responses to “Amateurs in Alchemy”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    “Oh sure, it was out of order, but there was nothing wrong with the bloody stairs!”

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Fancy that, exactly the same thing happened to me when I first experimented with transmutation! I much prefer science anyway.

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    An alien planet flares up in revolt at the threat of man’s ‘Civilization’…

    BEING A TRUMP REPUBLICAN IN THE CITIES

  4. Francis Boyle Says:

    Dammit. Beaten to the Trump joke by this much!

  5. Tom Noir Says:

    MC Hammer called. He wants his parachute pants back.

  6. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Spaceman Bob cops a cheap feel while pretending to “rescue” dangling space babe from vaguely Freudian menace.

  7. B. Chiclitz Says:

    “These Doc Marten™️ magnetic space boots are no good at all!”

    “But hey, at least everybody knows we’re urban renegades!”

  8. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Tom: Goodness, why does MC Hammer have your telephone number?

  9. Bibliomancer Says:

    The squids are revolting! The squids are revolting!

  10. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Some real kerning issues with this cover typography. Somebody needs a better kerning learning curve.

  11. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @B’mancer: yes, and I blame Unknown Artist for the poor design choices.

  12. Anna T. Says:

    eeh . . . Are those astronauts supposed to be floating in the air outside a space station, or did the artist screw up and put them on an invisible floor?

    I vote for the latter. The “astronauts versus one-eyed squid” and the background that is apparently supposed to be buildings look like they’re from two separate images – and are ugly to boot!

  13. Tat Wood Says:

    The space-squid were always grumbling about the glass ceiling but the boiler-suited humans seemed happy with the status quo.

  14. Ikari Gendo Says:

    Before Photoshop it was much harder to tack together completely unrelated images and make it look like they were always part of the same picture.

  15. fred Says:

    ‘How can you scale a wall wearing bulky space suit gloves and have a believable cover?’ the artist was asked by the publisher.

  16. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    They’re clearly not in the cold vacuum of space, because their hands are completely uncovered. Which implies that, whatever is in the atmosphere against which they need those bubble helmets to protect their lungs, it’s no danger to their pores or epidermis.

  17. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Since I can’t find much of anything on the book’s contents, I’ll invent a cocktail instead.

    ALCHEMIST OCTOPUS

    In a pint glass, combine:

    1/3 oz Hiram Walker Peach Schnapps
    1/3 oz Beefeater Gin
    1/3 oz Bacardi 151 Rum
    Dash ice cold Jaegermeister

    Top glass off with champagne. Can substitute bitters for Jaegermeister or Ginger Ale for champagne.

  18. JuanPaul Says:

    The artist just painted this at a weird angle. That cylinder is actually a giant steam roller.

  19. FearöfMusic Says:

    “Oh dear lord, they’re still after us John! Give them the sausage already!”

    “Never! Martha my dear, how can a man call himself a man if he is without sausages strapped to his back?”

    “But John, your sausage isn’t particularly large, we could…”

    “Sausage?”

    “What?”

    “You said sausage. Singular.”

    “John! These one eyed tentacle beasts are..”

    “Precisely. ”

    “WHAT! PRECISELY WHAT!”

    “You’re mocking my willie.”

    “What the..the..are you..arrggh!”

    “I’m going home to mother”

  20. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Shouldn’t the title read “ALIEN REVOLT” or something — rather than a title that sounds (and looks!) like a chemistry textbook for school children?

  21. Elvraie Says:

    What are they walking on? Air? And being pursued by spicy fried squids?

  22. Tat Wood Says:

    Amateurs in Alchemy
    Live together in perfect harmony
    Side by side on a roll of cardboard
    Oh, Lord, why can’t we?

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