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Jul 25

 

You're welcome to spend the night at our farmhouse. Just don't try to sleep with my alien daughter.Click for full image

 

It's Mawg! Half-man, half-dog. He's his own best friend.Click for full image

It’s a Spacepaws Two-Fer Tuesday!

#1 By the time Vacation to the Planet of the Apes was released the franchise had run out of ideas.

#2 Oh boy! Chase the ball … chase the ball … chase the ball …

Published 1969 and 1976

You might remember this from here

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.94 out of 10)
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26 Responses to “Spacepaw”

  1. MisterBob Says:

    Wow ! I, a Spaceman travel 30,000 light years and you,my furry friend, are wearing the same shade of orange ! what are the odds ?

  2. JuanPaul Says:

    #1 “I am going to destroy you on Yelp!”

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    #1: originally there were supposed to be multiple Bearmen instead of a single Beaver, but Lewis Carroll changed his mind after seeing Henry Holiday’s drafts.

    #2: The Bearman has the look of someone who’s just realized that the blurb, meaningless for decades, has just taken on a ridiculous new life thanks to Wayne’s World.

  4. THX 1138 Says:

    1: Everyone knows Spacemaw wears the trousers round here.

    2: “You’ll have to excuse me, I’m off to fight John-Boy Walton!”

  5. fred Says:

    #1 Unfortunately the concept of ‘bed and breakfast’ has an entirely different meaning on this planet.

  6. Bibliomancer Says:

    #1 Let me help you cut off your sleeves and pant legs so you can dress like a local.

    #2 Nothing more embarrassing than a middle-aged bear person who grows a mullet to distract from his receding hair line.

  7. B. Chiclitz Says:

    1.” So you see if I just slide this sword under my armpit and hold it in place, it looks like I’ve been stabbed!”
    1. (a) “Well, if you’ll just let me open my sample case, I promise to show you the best darned space vacuum cleaner you’ve ever seen.”

    2. Win a Hugo, gain a middle initial.

  8. Bibliomancer Says:

    @BC – Gordon R. Dickson is outstanding in his class, in fact, in a class by himself.

  9. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @B’Mancer—I’ll bet he’s also a compelling story teller.

  10. Tat Wood Says:

    1. ‘Have you thought of letting Jesus into your lives?’

    2. Myhr: the Trailer-Park Years

  11. Francis Boyle Says:

    So many swords and not a single ting. It’s like they’re not even trying.

  12. Raoul Says:

    @Francis – In space no one can hear your Ting!

  13. JuanPaul Says:

    #2 looks like a failed cover concept for a Meatloaf album.

  14. Anna T. Says:

    1: Why are the gorilla people wearing orange leotards with Futurama shoulders? Methinks the astronaut is taken aback by this, in particular.

    2: Creepy Hobo Dogman, everyone. Avoid at all costs, for he is disgusting and lewd.

  15. B. Chiclitz Says:

    1. I keep coming back to this cover to ponder the artistic choices the illustrator made. It’s like he or she tried to be “realistic” (or at least representational) in drafting the figures (despite the truly absurd set up), but then when it came time for the trees and landscape it was, like, “F**k it, I’m going full finger paint mode.”

    2. Here it was just purple filters all the way.

  16. Francis Boyle Says:

    @Raoul

    I refer you to B. Chiclitz’s words of wisdom from last year:

    It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that ting
    (doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah)
    You’re just gonna fall if you got no legs at all
    (doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah)
    It makes no difference
    If it’s one sword or two
    Those little tiny dinos
    Got no respect for you, ’cause
    It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that ting
    (doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah, doo-ah

  17. fred Says:

    #1: Olive drab is the go to color when you need to enliven a cover.

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Both of those are terrible, just in different ways.

    I think #2 is worse just for the Spacepaw looking so derp (the tiny people are a bit odd-looking too, like Odo in DS9).

    #1 is just dull and apparently the artist didn’t understand that they are in fact bear people, not gorilla people. I can’t believe it’s 1969 — I’d have pegged it as 10 years earlier.

    As bad as the previous one was, it was better than either of these.

  19. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I posted this late yesterday:

    https://thoughtsonfantasy.com/2017/07/18/how-to-make-a-cliched-high-fantasy-cover/

    and per B’mancer’s suggestion, have left a comment (still in moderation) for the creator of this (obviously a kindred spirit) to join us.

    She’s got the Bad Fantasy Cover elements PERFECT, including a Mega-Ting!

  20. Bibliomancer Says:

    @GSSXN – I also thought #1 cover looked like something from the 50s but a quick check of isfdb.org verifies 1969.

    What’s funnier is the 1969 paperback cover.
    The note on the site says:
    “Cover art shows ape-like alien when it should be a bear-like alien, repainted for 2nd printing.”

  21. Raoul Says:

    @Bibliomancer – And that 2nd printing cover upped the cover price from 75 cents to $1.25. Cover touch-up art doesn’t come cheaply!

    Also funny is the cover for the German edition.

    A re-purposing of one of our favorite GSS ridiculous hat covers:

    http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=11758

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @B’mancer: The hasty re-paint explains why Spacebear has such derp and the human faces went all melty. Not worth such a substantial price increase! Maybe they took it to the printer before the paint had dried.

  23. GSS ex-noob Says:

    New topic: it’s probably good that GSS demands physical books, because e-books are too easy of a target.

    E.g. this one, which has Font Abuse to a giant degree, also Pecs, and the description above the title (once you can read it) isn’t so much a blurb as a series of keywords jammed together. It’s missing opportunities for Ting! though.

    https://www.amazon.com/Bannockburn-Binding-Beloved-Bloody-Time-ebook/dp/B006MHLBX0/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1501103972&sr=1-1&keywords=Bannockburn+Binding+%28Beloved+Bloody+Time+Book+1%29

  24. Ray P Says:

    #1 Astronaut with a briefcase: “I’m looking for the one who shot my spacepaw.”

  25. Yoss Says:

    Spacebear went on to make a cameo in The Shining.

  26. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I love that expression on the leader bear on Cover #1 — it just says: “Don’t — just DON’T — I’m having a terrible day.”

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