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Jun 03

What can I say, the camera loves me.Click for full image
(
To The Stars: Homeworld)

Javier’s Art Direction: How about a slightly hunched, skinny, pasty white guy with a furry mustache and a laser gun that goes beep standing in front of an orange city?

Tom Seleck in space?
Click for full image
(To The Stars: Wheelworld)

Too tired, in a rush, he's probably shooting the wrong way anyway.Click for full image
(To The Stars: Starworld)

Suspiciously good “photos”… Excellent though!
Many thanks to Javier!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.85 out of 10)
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27 Responses to “Ku Gwiazdom (To The Stars Trilogy)”

  1. Adam Roberts Says:

    These covers are so bad they ought to be obliczerated.

    That said, I quite like the concept of a ‘wig nanny’. I picture a huge cockney gangster in a poodle wig. In my mind’s eye I can see him, and he’s yelling: ‘who’s your wig nanny now?’

  2. Rod's Basement Says:

    I would guess that these are Harrison’s Stainless Steel Rat series – though couldn’t tell you what language sorry!

  3. SophaLoaf Says:

    To the Stars trilogy
    Homeworld (1980)
    Wheelworld (1981)
    Starworld (1981)

    Nothing says “To the Stars” more than ‘a slightly hunched, skinny, pasty white guy with a furry mustache and a laser gun’.

  4. Nix Says:

    These covers might be slightly appropriate for Deathworld or the Stainless Steel Rat… but To The Stars?! Hardly.

  5. cutmanmike Says:

    The first one looks like he’s wearing a giant power glove. No one else see it?

  6. Ian Sales Says:

    That’s a good porn star ‘tache.

  7. SophaLoaf Says:

    @NIX It’s in Polish and they are this trilogy if I am not mistaken. I’ll double check again, but have no problem with being wrong.
    Cheers!

  8. talkie_tim Says:

    It’s Polish. My workmate says this is the To The Stars Trilogy, the subtitles translate literally to: “Faces of Earth”, “Star-Home”, and “Exile”. Make of that what you will.

  9. DeadRobot Says:

    If these covers were to be taken literally, like, say… a snapshot of every day life, then the future certainly is Chuck Norris-y (sans muscles) (sans cool)

  10. CSA Says:

    The top one looks like he was auditioning for the village people.

    The last one is just really bad. What has happened here is the model (in this case, an old man with moustache) has posed naked for a photo, then someone has badly drawn a barkground and armour on to him. Whats going on with the yellow circuit board on the front of his chest?

  11. Dave Van Domelen Says:

    Looks like promo posters for the sequel to the fake movie seen in the video for Muse’s “Knights of Cydonia”.

  12. Javier Says:

    Yeah, Ku gwiazdom is Polish, and a literal translation for “To the Stars.” I found these books laying around our office a couple years ago, and was awed by the artist’s “talent.” I scanned the covers and kept them in my computer knowing that they would come in handy sooner or later; then I found this website and rest is history.

  13. SI Says:

    Space craft always seem to be leaving this guy behind. He must be lonely.

  14. James Lovegrove Says:

    “For this covers, I pose two, three times for take photograph. I earn a few zlotys I send back to family in Warsaw. Is good. Maybe American government see this, make me real spaceman. Stanislav the astronaut, with laser gun to have shoot alien. Now I finish unblocking your drain, OK? OK.”

  15. Deborah Says:

    google translate gave me Calculated Earth, Star Home, and Exile.
    I love the motorbike helmets on Calculated Earth and Star Home 🙂

  16. Hep C Says:

    Good to see Zlad’s back in business
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lp_PIjc2ga4

  17. Tom Noir Says:

    It’s hip to wear only one half of a pair of sunglasses. All the cool kids will be doing it soon.

  18. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “In Russia, you don’t shoot hobos. In Russia, hobos shoot you!”

  19. Tat Wood Says:

    Barry Chuckle: the leather-boy years.
    (For non-UK residents lucky enough not to get the reference, I no sooner typed thins than found that the Chuckle Brothers were in the news again. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-26019626. Not everyone’s first choice of character-witness, I would have thought)

  20. rev Says:

    Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

  21. Anna T. Says:

    No one else has noticed that the second and third covers have what are clearly stock photos of Mars in the background. Maybe there’s a good reason for that, but I think not.

  22. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Borat is back… and he’s mad as hell!”

  23. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I like the way the laser space rifles and the space football helmets evolve from book to book.

  24. anon Says:

    Good thing the books are in Polish, because I don’t think they could have made the hero look more Polish if they’d put Lech Walesa in the cover.

  25. Ray P Says:

    Laibach: How the space was won (an sf concept album).

  26. A.R.Yngve Says:

    FTL spaceships, galactic civilizations, fine… but that mustache? Too unbelievable!

  27. RachelJ Says:

    …Dad? When did you join the Space Marines?

    I’m going to have to have a chat with the old man. This is weird.😳

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