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Sep 21

No... what have you done with ET?!?Click for larger image

Joachim Comments: It’s one of these covers where words simply fail to describe the horrors at play — the garish colors cavorting among mutated humanoid shapes (Malcolm McDowell?) and what can only be a doe-eyed, disembodied, (potentially) cuddly dragon spirit monkey…
Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.76 out of 10)
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34 Responses to “Queen of the States”

  1. Herm Says:

    It rather reminds me of E.T. the Extraterrestrial, perhaps crossed with a tarsier monkey. And then spray-painted neon.

    Poor Blue Lady Liberty (that’s the torch in her hand, right?) ran out of shading on her legs.

  2. Claire Says:

    Rod, Jane and Freddy (not to mention Zippy) had really fallen on hard times.

  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    HAND! What is her right hand DOING? Why is it so PUNY? Aaah…(runs screaming into the night)

  4. Phil Says:

    Does she know there are disembodied heads just behind her? What do they want? I guess they want us to read the book to find out…

  5. SI Says:

    I’ve seen many the women falling backwards off a skyscraper, especially in the recenter cooler times, but this takes the biscuit!

  6. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Woman in Blue Tutu: “I am woman — watch me tear this male chauvinist alien apart with my bare hands! AARRGHH!!”

    Alien: “YEOOOWW!!”

  7. bincat23 Says:

    This is exactly how i pictured cyberspace to be reading neuromancer. Only without this lot.

  8. Joachim Says:

    I just realized that the dragon spirit monkey and the blueish thing is emanating from her crouch…. I guess it’s FIRE and ICE or something.

  9. A.R.Yngve Says:

    On the upside… it’s refreshing to see a difference from the usual, stale SF cliches (spaceship, alien, etc.)

    On the downside… it’s less refreshing to see a cover which will only appeal to the blind.

  10. Adam Roberts Says:

    I think the moral of this cover is: always wear sunscreen.

  11. Tom Noir Says:

    Not only is ET on this cover, I think that’s his grandmother there on the back left.

  12. Tom Noir Says:

    So who is the author of “JOSEPHINE SAXTON QUEEN OF THE STATES”?

  13. Joachim Says:

    Tom Noir: Josephine Saxton is the author of QUEEN OF THE STATES…

  14. fred Says:

    So she has the powers of materializing a Lady Liberty torch in her right hand and a giant red shrimp in her left? Squirrel Girl has met her match.

  15. THX 1138 Says:

    The original ending to Ghostbusters 2 before the drastic re-edit.

  16. jerk of all trades Says:

    I’m really disturbed by how all these spirits and monsters seem to be emanating form her crotch.

  17. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    The Women’s Press? Is that why she’s drawn so flat?

  18. Alessandra Says:

    Believe it or not, the head on the left is ripped off from a classic Renaissance drawing of grotesque faces which also was used as a model for a few Renaissance paintings.

  19. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Neat swipe from Renaissance art there… but it would’ve been better to USE THE WHOLE RENAISSANCE PAINTING instead.

  20. David Cowie Says:

    I saw this cover and immediately thought “Gill Sans typeface”.
    Does that make me a bad person?

  21. Hep C Says:

    This is obviously Sponge Bob’s bastard child with ET’s wife

  22. Tat Wood Says:

    It was 80s Britain: the idea was to have covers that look as unlike DAW, Boris Vallejo, Peter A Jones et al because they were aiming at a different market.

    Fine, in theory…

  23. Tor Mented Says:

    The one-woman celebration of both the U.S. Fourth of July and Chinese New Year draws a crowd of just two people: a Haitian voodoo priestess and that one guy who always smells something unpleasant.

  24. GSS ex-noob Says:

    So, that ain’t Lady Liberty, which means the blue-garbed woman has committed some sort of Federal felony by stealing the torch.

    Was there a bet on at Unknown Artist Institute as to who could come up with the most hideous and off-putting cover for this book?

    Also: Hey blue lady, BEHIND YOU!

  25. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I was going to post an “Editorial Meeting” joke about the warped, self-defeating reasoning that led to this cover… but it came off as so crass and mean (and realistic) that I just didn’t have the nerve.

  26. Francis Boyle Says:

    According to Google: “This book is about Magdalen, a woman who is on her own planet, out to lunch and on her own trip.” So, yea, in this case, no misrepresentation. (Although, personally, I prefer covers to be a little less literal.)

  27. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Children’s dance recitals are rather dull, it’s true, but these attempts to “spice them up” don’t sit well with me.

  28. Bibliomancer Says:

    Believe it or not, the artist Melinda Gebbie toned it down for this cover.
    Check her out:
    http://www.melindagebbie.com

  29. B. Chiclitz Says:

    “Hey, moron, what’s with the glasses? Can’t you see the nuanced and rarified artistic theme of this cover is ‘google-eyes’? Be careful Gebbie doesn’t see you or she’ll put you in a BDSM drawing!”

  30. JuanPaul Says:

    @b’mancer 28 I like her sketches. Don’t like the paintings

  31. Bibliomancer Says:

    @ JuanPaul – Agreed. She’s got that Zap Comix vibe.

  32. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @B’Mance, JP—note the R. Crumb cameo (the guy named “Bob”) in the drawing titled “Underground Heaven.”

  33. fred Says:

    This cover gives me a Stephen King vibe.

  34. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @B’mancer 28: That stuff’s cool in its place. A mass-market paperback is not its place.

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