Jul 03
Click for full imageGood Show Sir’s Art Direction: Boarders and frames are the window to one’s soul my friend! Just make sure this soul has a perm and a great pair of… candles… ah ha ha ha. Of course I really mean boobs.
Published 1989
P.S. I’ll hopefully have the ratings working again later today!
(Average: 6.29 out of 10)
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July 3rd, 2012 at 9:39 am
Elvish hash left the building.
Oh, and: Behind you!
July 3rd, 2012 at 9:42 am
Seriously, what exactly is there Behind her! ?
I love the disco hair.
Glad to see a new cover, still can’t rate however.
July 3rd, 2012 at 10:11 am
“Urgh! You spend more time texting on your jewel than you do talking to me!”
July 3rd, 2012 at 10:31 am
I don’t remember the bright eyes video having orcs…
July 3rd, 2012 at 10:49 am
Look for the exciting sequels:
THE DIAMONDS OF DWARVISH
THE ZIRCONS OF ORCISH
July 3rd, 2012 at 11:10 am
Surely the Prequel is Total Eclipsce of the Heart ?
July 3rd, 2012 at 11:42 am
Ah, TSR, fine purveyors of cheesecake. Surprisingly, this wasn’t made by Larry Elmore (though Clyde Caldwell isn’t very reluctant when it comes to variations of chainmail bikinis, too).
July 3rd, 2012 at 1:01 pm
Ah, Stevie Nicks! Fantasy is truly your proper home.
July 3rd, 2012 at 1:33 pm
I misread the title as “The Jews of the Elvish”. “Oy gevalt! I got me a teal orc chompin’ on my perm. I just had that done!”
Welcome back, GSS!
July 3rd, 2012 at 6:42 pm
Looks more like Shybhil Dhannhing to me. And why can’t she afford matching chandleshticks?
July 3rd, 2012 at 8:00 pm
*obligatory polishing family jewels joke*
July 4th, 2012 at 3:01 pm
Nah MisterBob, it’s the sequel. If you’ll remember in the video, those kids had glowing eyes. Well… you see what happened the next time she visited the school.
July 4th, 2012 at 4:01 pm
The Perm of Destiny strikes fear into the black hearts of demons!
July 5th, 2012 at 8:44 am
What is it with cover artists and the obsession with history’s worst hairstyles?
July 17th, 2012 at 7:22 pm
I think it would have been cooler if the Orcs were in the foreground and the buxom blonde was in the background. So you get to see what the Orcs are thinking about….babes…..or boobs….or both!
March 1st, 2014 at 8:55 am
THEY SAVED ELVIS’ JEWELS (nudge, nudge)
March 4th, 2014 at 5:43 pm
So if ‘Elven Born’ is the correct term for the people, therefore ‘Elvish’ refers to the language. Thus ‘The Jewels of Elvish’ must be something ‘Elfdom’s Greatest Hits’ like ‘1001 Best Runic Jokes’.
March 4th, 2014 at 8:45 pm
Number 687 in the classic series: So, You Want to Make an Elver Laugh? 1001 Best Runic Jokes!
Q. Hey Flloddomoaere, why did the Were-Hen cross the rutted cart path?
A. ➰〽ï¸â¸˜â€¡â€¡âŠâ€”^૱☊⚗➰⸘‡‡âŠ!!!⸘‡‡!!
I just can’t stop cracking up at that one . . . .
March 4th, 2014 at 10:15 pm
@B. Chiclitz — Elves don’t know how to tell a joke. They always rune the punch line.
March 5th, 2014 at 10:10 am
This one will rune and rune
March 28th, 2015 at 12:04 pm
“The Jewel S of Elvis H”
August 25th, 2015 at 3:15 am
@Jerk of All Trades: Amen.
November 20th, 2015 at 8:16 pm
At least she’s not holding a bloody dagger.