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Oct 01

Hold it there my alien space scaly steed... I am pulling off some awesome Ting!Click for full image

Don’s Art Direction: I want a seriously bronzed (think gallons of Man-Tan) hero on a gryphonish thing with wings growing out of his butt.
Published 1982

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.93 out of 10)
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40 Responses to “Kesrick”

  1. Book Wench Says:

    This is just a bucketload of excellent – it has everything – flowing long blonde hair (this time on a “man”), improbable creature with a punk hairdo, purple background, green tights and the courage to include both phallic symbolism AND needing to specify it’s an “adult fantasy.”

    If this is your fantasy, then good luck, and good show, sir.
    Mine is to see the Gryphonish Thing versus Space Moose in an ultimate showdown.
    http://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/2012/08/the-space-barbarians/

    (Although too bad if this guy needs to use his spear – it’s being held to the saddle by his manly be-tighted thighs. This is why you need a kilt.)

  2. SI Says:

    I’ll be fair.. adult fantasy probably means the words penis and boobs might be mentioned a few times. The temptation to go for a naked women must of been there.

    Instead they give us a master piece. This is simply amazing… I love it all in it’s awkwardness. What’s going on with his hips?

    And the artist, Mr Stillwagon… award for the best surname ever!

  3. THX 1138 Says:

    I think everyone’s adult fantasy here has just been realised: not the turkey horse, the sword with TWO tings! Such extravagance!

  4. Book Wench Says:

    Hi, my name’s Mr Stillwagon and I’m here to “sketch your fantasy cover”…

    Bow-chicka-wow-wow!

  5. Tat Wood Says:

    Keith Lemon’s Welsh? Who knew?

  6. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Griffin rampant! Sword rampant! Porn stache rampant! Colours rampant! Everything about this cover is ever so rampant!

  7. L.B. Says:

    Awwww! For an adult fantasy, I was expecting the presence of the sheep or Mr. Lewis somewhere on the cover. What a let-down!

  8. Jerk of all Trades Says:

    A hero so heroic, he heroes on, even in the face of having lost his own pelvis!

    Or perhaps that is what he is out and about and heroically questing for.

  9. Yoss Says:

    Now this!!! This is a cover. I will unfortunately have to deduct one point for the absence of barbarian babes in the foreground.

  10. fred Says:

    Kesrick knew this was the year he would finally take first place in the Wagnerian category at the Intergalactic Cosplay Convention.

  11. Don Hilliard Says:

    @SI: For “adult” content…not a sausage (er, so to speak.) I don’t know if the subtitle was meant ironically or if Don Wollheim was trying to add a little sizzle. It’s pretty much every fantasy cliche and lots of mythic elements (traditional and popular-culture) tossed into a blender and garnished with sub-Princess Bride humor. With fourteen pages of endnotes.

    ( I don’t think the cover was meant to be funny. I certainly don’t recall the hero actually being described as looking like the lovechild of Freddy Mercury and Robin Gibb.)

  12. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Alternate captions:

    1. “An adult fantasy… honestly!

    2. “Hot man-on-gryphon action for unashamed adults!”

    3. “KESRICK — not a new brand of cottage cheese”

    4. “Classic adult fantasy from the writer who gave you The Black Star

    5. “Show it to your friends (if you have any)!”

  13. Ian Says:

    Amazing details. What an awesome saddle, um, horn. Punk hair and all.
    I am wondering if the man is winged or not?

  14. Lilah Says:

    Whose butt are those wings growing out of? I honestly can’t tell.

  15. Annie B. Says:

    Best. Bad. Cover. Ever.

    Though I do feel like it needs some cleavage (hey, maybe his) to make it perfect.

  16. Book Wench Says:

    Oh good grief – I just saw those amazing boots have spurs.

    Because when there’s scarcely a codpiece between you and a creature with talons, spurs are a bad idea.

  17. Sophaloaf Says:

    i am in love with this cover. it is too awesome for words.

    brown chicken brown cow indeed.

  18. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Awww, look at his little itty bitty shoes, aren’t they so cute?

  19. Phil Says:

    Adult fantasy with childish cover.

  20. anon Says:

    *Homosexual* adult fantasy, apparently.

  21. FearofMusic Says:

    If this site were not so amazingly amusing and clever I would find it soul-crushingly depressing. I surrendered my youthful dreams of being an artist after an incredibly supportive instructor informed me my efforts were “rubbish” Said he “Nobody is going to pay you to do monsters and dragons, killer robots and and bizarre beasties. No demons or dog-people. There is no market for such things. Grow up my boy.” Sadly I assumed he knew what he spoke of (though he appears to have gotten it right about the dog-people.) Ah well, at least I wont find my efforts here. Although I seriouly could have done this cover one better. Not one, but two lovely busty scantily clad women, with long lances suggestively held. Yes yes. Indeed.

  22. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Kesrick and his mount did stride
    On purple hills in space
    And gradually, he tanned his hide
    Except across his face!

  23. Tat Wood Says:

    Appropriately, the cover looks as though it had been drawn in colouring pencils. http://www.pencilmuseum.co.uk/plan-your-visit/how-to-find-us/

  24. anon Says:

    It doesnt help your warrior credentials if you have mustache like that and have wings growing out of your ass. I mean wings, in general, are cool, but just think how dignified you’re going to be looking flying around as if strung up from your pooper.

  25. JuanPaul Says:

    This is what I see when I look in the mirror.

  26. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Desperately in need of a “Foreword By…” Piers Anthony, perhaps.

  27. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    This is what I see when I look in Juan Paul’s mirror. 😉

  28. Bibliomancer Says:

    About Keith Stillwagon:

    Keith Stillwagon’s work has been termed as ‘Visionary Realism’.

    The themes of his acrylic paintings occur within mystical landscapes which seem familiar yet transcend oridinary (sic) reality. His attention to symbolism and fine detail compels the viewer to look closely, taking time to enjoy and understand the picture.

    Keith Stillwagon’s murals adorn many homes and buildings in and around Gulfport and St. Petersburg, Florida.

    http://fineartamerica.com/profiles/keith-stillwagon.html

  29. Raoul Says:

    Keith Stillwagon: A Journey Filled With ‘Great Mistakes’

    However, this local newspaper profile fails to mention the Kesrick cover.

  30. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @B’mancer: ‘Snarf!’

  31. Bibliomancer Says:

    @DSWBT – Commissioned by an anonymous source:

    http://www.light-of-truth.com/pr101407.html

  32. Elvraie Says:

    Mmm… Cheddar factory springs to mind! I want that book! Fun with a Capital F! Yes!

  33. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @B’mancer: Goodness, that reads better than The Loneliest Cot on Starship Xeno! What I want to know is, why would the commissioner wish to remain anonymous?

  34. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @JuanPaul: I think you’d better keep Elvraie away from your mirror. 😀

  35. Bibliomancer Says:

    @Juan Paul – Guess who else saw this when they looked in the mirror.

  36. fred Says:

    Where else can we cram a griffin onto this cover because four just isn’t enough. The rowels of his spurs. The front of his ‘armor’. The back of his cape. Give him a full griffins head helmet instead of just the crest. The pommel of his sword. The clasp of his cape. Gold griffins instead of jewels. A whole armada of flying griffins. A herd of stampeding griffins, Griffin tattoos. A volcano erupting griffins. A lake of griffins wearing water wings. Every little circle on the griffin’s hide should contain a griffin image.

  37. JuanPaul Says:

    @dswbt I knew someone was using my toothpaste

  38. B. Chiclitz Says:

    A little known fact: like Kesrick and Stilwagon himself, Francis Bacon had feathers growing out of his ass. As Bacon famously said:

    “Reading maketh a full man, conference a ready man, and writing an exact man. Feathers in the ass just friggin’ itch.”

  39. L. A. Julian Says:

    I like the gryphon’s technicolour roached mane/DA combo!

  40. ThunderMonkey Says:

    The smaller moon is partially transparent, and would have a CRAZY orbit given it’s currently between a planet and an enormous moon. Maybe it’s a Death Star?

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