May 06

Ah, I see you went for something practical to hunt dragons in. Click for full image

Tom Noir Comments: Dragons probably prefer blondes because their four-inch Pradas make them easier to catch.
Published 2009

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.88 out of 10)

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27 Responses to “Dragons Prefer Blondes”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    Is Charlize standing naturally?

  2. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Do you sometimes feel not-so-glamorous when hunting dragons? Now there’s a way to look perfect while dragon blood spatters on your Pradas… you DON’T GIVE A FLYING F*** ABOUT HOW YOU LOOK AT WORK!”

  3. Noel Says:

    Is this where Chris de Burgh found his inspiration? Though I think his cheek would be somewhere near her naval.

  4. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Phoarrr, look at the Caruthers on HER!

    *moves eyes up a bit* Why is she resting the bowstring on her neck? At best, that would be uncomfortable. More likely, the bow would go off prematurely…

  5. Tom Noir Says:

    From a reader review: I loved the love story that was woven through the action of slaying/patrolling dragons.

  6. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Fighting evil in four-inch Pradas’…very, very small evil? Slightly smelly evil? Dank evil?

  7. misterbob Says:

    It should be three unknown artists,as looks like a different model was used for the legs,torso,head – thou more like they used an issue of celebrity skin.

  8. fred Says:

    Prefer older sister myself.

  9. Tat Wood Says:

    Fred’s picture, apart from confirming that these sisters have posture problems, makes it look as if there was a plan to make a ‘Charmed’-like series of books riffing on 50s musicals and putting words like ‘monster’ or ‘ghoul’ in the title but it stopped at volume 2.

    If she’s short of titles, we could assist:

    A Transylvanian in Paris
    Seven Brides for Seven Frankensteins
    Beast Side Story
    Silk Stakings
    Demons are a Ghoul’s Best Fiend
    Die Die Birdie
    My Fair Zombie
    Beast Blanket Bingo
    Rock-a-Cthulu Baby
    Singin’ in the Reign of Darkness
    Guys and Voodoo Dolls

    …and not forgetting The Brigadoon that Came to Sarnath

    I now feel as if I’ve been reading ‘Whizzer and Chips’

  10. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Tat: Mummy-Man of La Mancha?

    To scream the impossible scream
    To cry the impossible cry
    To go where the sane do not follow
    To know that you’re going to

  11. Tom Noir Says:

    @Tat: Don’t forget “The Music Slender-Man” and “Stoker-klahoma!”

  12. Tat Wood Says:

    Reanimator Get Your Gun
    Paint Your Dragon
    The Girl Can’t Hell-Pit
    Thoroughly Modern Mummy
    Calamityville Jane

    sorry, it’s been a long day.

  13. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “A Caruthers Sisters Novel”? Are you sure it’s not a Hilton Sisters novel… or a Kardashian Sisters?

  14. anon Says:

    That’s an invitation for neck problems.
    Also, the lower hand seems a bit hinky – the crossbow used to be baseball bat, right?

  15. FearofMüsic Says:

    Look, a crossbow is a pretty cool looking weapon… except in real life. Cool does not kill. The draw distance of the string is so ridiculously short that it will barely flex the bow and have substandard power even with *tingaliciousness* added. There’s certainly no need for the foot stirrup. She isn’t wearing a belt hook, so she.’d have to grab that string with bare unprotected hands. Bending over so far in the process that that skirt would… ride, uh, up… uh hmmm. And that front would just fall , uh, open. Wow. She might be on to something here.

  16. Stevie T Says:

    At first glance, I couldn’t tell that was a crossbow. My first thought was “Is that a musical instrument or a marital aid…” *looks at title* “…for a dragon?”

  17. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “Fighting evil in four inch Pradas” – and inside a nebula as well, judging from the cover.

    “Sexy Halloween Costumes, Inc. isn’t really trying anymore. This year’s “Sexy Arbalist” is just last years “Sexy Halberdier” only with an unconvincing crossbow rather than an unconvincing halberd.”

  18. Francis Boyle Says:

    Five years, and no one’s added ‘Maim’ to the list of monstrous musicals.

  19. Tor Mented Says:

    This needs a “four-inch Pradas are hard to draw” tag.

  20. Tor Mented Says:

    The cover of “The Demon King and I” (also on this site) has a similar cover of a woman with Stretch Armstrong anatomy in a designer dress wielding an ancient weapon as a fashion accessory.

  21. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @Dead Stuff with Big Teeth – “One morning I shot a dragon in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas, I’ll never know.”

    @Francis Boyle – GSS!

  22. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I think this cover’s emitting pheromones, right through the internets even.

  23. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I don’t think she can kill dragons, Prada shoes or not. Because she is clearly some sort of plastic doll. Shinier than Barbie, with longer legs and faker boobs. Plus something’s happened to her neck and waist joints. Must have gotten stepped on in the playroom. But at least her shoes haven’t gotten lost.

    @FB: GSS!

    @BC: All I can smell is PVC off-gassing.

  24. THX 1139 Says:

    We haven’t had a “mega limbs” tag for a while. Seeing Yazz on tonight’s 1989 Top of the Pops repeat reminded me too.

  25. Raoul Says:

    Not the “saucy wench” I was asking about

  26. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @GSSxn—You know, I think that is PVC after all. Regarding the waist joint issue, might we say it has resulted in jauntification? And speaking of mega limbs, the lower leg-upper leg ratio is totally whacky.

  27. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @BC: could be more jauntified, but I’d allow it.

    She’s got legs, but don’t know how to use ’em… girl, you got it wrong.

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