Mar 06

Fee, Fi, Fo Fum. Galactic History, here I come! Click to grow that beanstalk

Good Show Sir Comments: Jack the Beanstalker

Published 1973

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.29 out of 10)

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23 Responses to “Beanstalk”

  1. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I can’t see Jack.

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:


  3. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Prince Valiant meets Misty in the adult-oriented adventure no-one wanted to see!

  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    More like jackin’ the beanstalk.

  5. THX 1138 Says:

    “Sod the golden egg-laying goose, I’ll take Dyan Cannon in spaghetti…” Grim fairy tale indeed.

  6. A.R.Yngve Says:

    In the 70s, Peter O’Toole’s career went downhill fast, and he appeared in some quite slummy releases.

  7. Ray P Says:

    We can run the galactic economy off the orgone energy released by super-models.

  8. B. Chiclitz Says:

    These two seem to be made for each other. She’s got the longest eyelashes in the galaxy and he’s got the longest—face.

  9. JuanPaul Says:

    His evil mission: to give all women the same haircut at him…mwaaahahahaha!

  10. Francis Boyle Says:

    Thank goodness for the power of cropping.

  11. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    I think Rowan Atkinson was a much better casting choice.

  12. Tat Wood Says:

    Is it like girltalk but more leguminous?

  13. fred Says:

    A female Doctor with Richard III as the first companion? Sign me up.

  14. Anna T. Says:

    That poor woman is being held in some painful energy net that’s got hold of her at all of her important points, and that man’s just standing there leering. If she wants help, and she does, she certainly won’t be able to rely on that creep.

  15. Tom Noir Says:

    I’m not sure if they’re extracting or injecting some fluid into this poor woman. Whichever the case, I can’t fathom why they would need to do it with her, um, ‘mammular regions’.

  16. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    This is what she looks like after she’s done.

  17. Tat Wood Says:

    Magic seeds… no! Galactic History… Yes!’

    Why not both?

  18. Bibliomancer Says:

    @DSWBT – No way I’m clicking that link. Not gonna do it.

  19. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @B’mancer: Would you click it for a Klondike bar?

  20. JuanPaul Says:

    Inside the walls of the Barilla pasta factory.

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @B’mancer: it’s okay, it’s just a link to another (ridiculously similar) GSS cover.

    @JuanPaul: I shall be purchasing another brand of pasta if true! Cruel to women and unsanitary. Plus full of creepy medieval British men (or cosplayers thereof).

  22. RachelJ Says:

    Since you were wondering-

    Literally a sci-fi version of “Jack and the Beanstalk”.

  23. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @RachelJ: In which case the haircut is explained, but not the electric pasta. And we find out the author’s true name.

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