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Mar 30

Dietz NutzClick for full image

Raoul Comments: Humankind’s new enemy? I thought Cortez did a number on them half a millennium ago.

Published 1996

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.53 out of 10)
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42 Responses to “The Demons in the Green”

  1. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Author of Above the Lower Sky and other stupidly named books presents…

    THE DEMONS IN THE GREEN; or, ‘I can’t spell “Quetzalcoatl” and I must scream’

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    ‘Thunderbird O’Conner’. The hero’s name is fucking Thunderbird O’Conner’. If the author isn’t on the piss, I’m about to be.

  3. Bibliomancer Says:

    Is this science fiction or a Mountain Dew commercial?

  4. Francis Boyle Says:

    Given the amount of naked young manflesh on display here I’m guessing this isn’t about a unusually lively English village cricket match.

  5. Tom Noir Says:

    These dudes must be related to this guy. Or maybe this guy. Or is it this guy?

  6. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Male flesh on display? Check. Bright colours? Check. Rock and roll music? Check. All we need is a park or community centre to save, and we have an 80s teen film!

  7. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Those dolphin/killer-whale tails indicate that we’re seeing the middle segment of a truncated movie poster.

  8. THX 1138 Says:

    Inca Malmstein? Eddie Mayan Halen? Aztec Young? OK, Carlos Santana it is.

  9. B. Chiclitz Says:

    The humankind has a new enemy, alright. Lurking somewhere below the upper case, probably.

  10. Anna T. Says:

    Animal tails. A bird hat. An electric guitar. A castle. Water.

    And, of course, Thunderbird O’Conner.

    Well this book certainly seems bad, just looking at it.

  11. fred Says:

    …golf.

  12. JuanPaul Says:

    Guitar god is going to get a chaffed nipple from that strap.

  13. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    The positioning of the two gentlemen, two tails, contrasting colours and the wavey line between them suggests a yin and yang symbol…a stupid, stupid one.

  14. jrdelirio Says:

    Well, Aztec rock ‘n rollers would definitely be up high in the Hardcore Metal hierarchy what with the heart-removal of some audience member at the finale

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Dozens of colors on this cover and the author’s name is the same color as the background. It’s not like he had any shame, what with an Irish-Aztec hero who has a first name from neither culture, and orcas, which aren’t much associated with either place. And then there’s the electric guitar and the dragon.

    I’d like to tag this “font problems” as well; 4 different ones in 4 different colors, including one that’s either indicating “groovy” (20+ years too late) or “seasick” (yep).

  16. Tag Wizard Says:

    Did I hear
    font problems
    ?
    Oh yeah.

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Oooh! Almost-instant gratification.

  18. A.R.Yngve Says:

    “Greetings, people of Seattle! We are Aztec Beefcake, and we’re here to sweep you off your feet like a tidal wave! Here’s our first song, dedicated to our ocean brothers and sisters, called ‘Rock You Like a Killer Whale’! One-two-three-four…”

  19. infoqueen Says:

    @DSWBT: Along with the community center, there needs to be either a fist-fight or a dance-off. I’m not picky: we could have both…

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @infoqueen: They start with a fist fight, then someone says they should solve their problems non-violently, and then the dance-off begins, live music by Aztec Beefcake.

  21. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @iq, GSS choreographer: everyone must laugh at some point, too, I believe…

  22. RachelJ Says:

    This is what happens when a desperate author tries to find inspiration by pulling random words out of a hat.

    “Let’s see, I’ve got… Cathedral… Dragon… Aztec… Whale… Stratocaster. All I have to do is somehow write a novel around them!”

  23. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    We’ve found the token female of the band. Her character arc is learning to ‘be herself’ and ‘expose some flesh’.

  24. Lctwice Says:

    And demon’d on de green…

  25. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @DSWBT: that would be us.

  26. A.R.Yngve Says:

    A deadly game of golf against the hordes of Hell — their only hope was to beat
    THE DEMONS IN THE GREEN

  27. GSS ex-noob Says:

    The infernal creatures liked to roll around in piles of US money — they were

    THE DEMONS IN THE GREEN.

  28. A.R.Yngve Says:

    The shocking truth about Popeye’s spinach addiction — and his struggle to quit
    THE DEMONS IN THE GREEN

  29. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    They said they were L.A.’s newest jam band…but they were really just recording

    THE DEMOS IN THE GREEK

  30. Bibliomancer Says:

    The creatures from the DOOM game like to play golf together on weekends … they were …

    THE DAEMONS ON THE GREEN

  31. Iluvm Says:

    Diamonds in the Greek sky

  32. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @DSWBT: So that’s where Aztec Beefcake cut a few tracks! Before or after the dance-off?

  33. Tor Mented Says:

    I’m just glad there’s no “free willy” on the cover, if you know what I mean.

  34. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “Cultural Appropriation: the Movie.” Now streaming on Netflix!

  35. Emster Says:

    This cover… erm.. I don’t know where to start… besides the obvious cringyness, what’s the “porpoise” of the marine mammals and bubbly water?

    Makes about as much sense as this beauty also mocked at GSS:
    https://www.goodshowsir.co.uk/?p=2283
    (I’ve read this one, printed with a less goofy cover, otherwise I would have left it on the shelf. The art does depict a scene from the book, but my imagination painted it in a far more sophisticated fashion.)

    Also @DSWBT #1 and @ARY #18 – snicker!

  36. Tat Wood Says:

    “Thunderbird O’Connor”?

    Related to… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6pmJlHxfGSE ?

  37. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Emster: Well spotted! Don’t think an electric guitar works on orca-back, though.

    I really miss DSWBT.

    @Tat: Would even Des stoop so low? He’d certainly have to import the waxed beefcake.

  38. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @GSSxn--amen to missing DSWBT.

  39. Tat Wood Says:

    @ex-Noob (37): err… why?

  40. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tat: Would Des play the beefcakes himself, then?

  41. Tat Wood Says:

    @ex-noob: he doesn’t need to. Apart from Troy Tempest, there’s a steady stream of Boy Bands and Reality Show applicants, delivery-drivers and weekend footballers. UK Politicians talk about an obesity crisis but, compared to America, a fairly high proportion of blokes in Blighty could have modelled for Rowena. Why import any?

    (This is your cue for more tired, dated WWII-era ethnic sneers and a jibe against native New Yorker Boris Johnson. Don’t bother – it just makes people who do look insular and clueless.)

  42. GSS ex-noob Says:

    “Insular” seems kind of funny coming from a guy who lives on an island…

    I suppose there could be some Native American beefcakes over there if they wanted to be authentic, but the footballers and such would do. We never see most of them here (having plenty of our own beefcake), mostly what we get is the pale weedy chaps. Though having just watched the latest 007, Mr. Craig is plenty beefcake.

    I would never jibe against Boris for his origin or current residence. I would put him down for his stupid haircut and complete and utter criminal wankery, as is proper.

    I’ve looked this book up on Goodreads and it says “No one you know has read this book”. Considering most of the people I know there are major sci-fi nerds who’ve read damn near anything, that’s… something. The author didn’t use his BA and MA in Medieval English any here.

    Check out the first book’s cover…

    https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/981842.Above_the_Lower_Sky

    I’m not sure how the dolphins are going to be much help at the cathedral.

    Maybe the orcas that are currently ramming boats are protesting these books?

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