Sep 19

I've been kissing a lot of frogs. I'm giving up and just moving in with this one.Click for larger image

What a pro. All those sharp talons and not a scratch.Click for larger image

It’s a Two-Fer Tuesday – Avon 1950 Sci-Fi GGA Special

Baron Harkonnen Comments: In the 50s strange creature monsters hunted scantily-clad blondes almost to extinction.

Published 1950

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.80 out of 10)

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19 Responses to “The Moon Pool & The Green Girl”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    1: “His name’s Kermit and he can do things with a banjo you can only dream of!”

    2: No wonder Alan Titchmarsh scooped that Bad Sex literary award.

  2. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    1. She’s having second thoughts about Mr. Unnatural Horror since he got his candy in her hair.

    2. If it’s a “land beneath the Earth”, then clearly her color isn’t for photosynthesis, ruling out my first hypothesis.

  3. Bibliomancer Says:

    #1. It’s not for his good looks. Must be that tongue.

    #2. Not tonight. I have a headache.

  4. fred Says:

    1. The Air Force to the rescue. Underground. Seems reasonable.
    Is the ‘unnatural’ the frog, the sex of the frog, or the hypno-bra?
    2. It’s underground so the Air Force must be just out of frame.

  5. B. Chiclitz Says:

    1. Corporate logo designer Bob stares at the cover and suddenly thinks, “Hey, I’ve got an idea!

    2. No wonder he seems frustrated. No matter how hard he tries, he just can’t remove that bracelet!! So near and yet . . . so far.

  6. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    1. At least he’s not a rollerblader. 🙂

    2. There’s no stigma attached to their relationship, but she doesn’t seem to be his style.

  7. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Update: you can read the first one for free online! Fortunate you. No ejaculations to be found, though.

  8. Tat Wood Says:

    1, ‘What secret compulsion made this lovely girl the handmaiden to unnatural horrors?’ A shedload of money, a US passport and a chance to become First Lady.

    2. Is the cat-lizard thing really flying with wings made of cabbage?

    A general point: these damsels look actionably like real film stars (Rita Hayworth and Veronica Lake respectively). Did nobody at Avon Books fear the wrath of showbiz lawyers?

  9. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Tat: Ms. Hayworth probably thought a frog monster was preferable to Harry Cohn.

  10. Tom Noir Says:

    I could swear we’ve seen other versions of The Moon Pool on here before, but search is failing me. But I can say with confidence this book inspired several bad covers.

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tat Wood—

    Thought 1— 😉

    Thought 2— 😉

    Thought 3— 😉

  12. Lillie Awesome Says:

    @Tat Wood (2): Perfectly reasonable. As all scientists know, the air is a lot denser underground.

  13. Lillie Awesome Says:

    #1 –

    Major Nelson: “My gosh, Dr. Livingstone; even the rocks down here are lissome and alluring!”

    Dr. Livingstone: “Quite. If only I hadn’t worn my two-dimensional safari garb on this expedition, I might be able to cross the Z axis to converse with that girl in the elaborate underthings on all subjects amphibicological.”

    [end scene]

  14. drlemaster Says:

    We can’t see his whole outfit, but as frog-monsters go, the gentleman in #1 is downright dapper.

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    1. (tagline) Horny adolescent boys. It’s not a secret.

    That is all some mighty fine fiberwork those frogs have. Her crocheted (and supportive!) bikini, his fancy loincloth-cape. Is Rita beseeching the men with “No, no… I can’t abide constricting uniforms!” (Also, have you seen his tongue?)

    2. Contrary to the song, someone promised her a rose garden. She wasn’t expecting it to be quite so tentacly.

    @Tat Wood re #1: heh. I think this frog monster might be preferable.

    @DSWBT, Tom Noir: agreed on both.

    @Lillie: awesome, indeed.

  16. JuanPaul Says:

    #1 I keep reading it “Moon Poo1”. I wonder what they would call the sequel…

    #2 just the way I like my green girl: complete and unabridged

  17. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Cover #1: Worst AXE Deodorant commercial ever (though not much worse than the ones we’ve actually seen on TV).

    Cover #2: This was actually SOLD in newsstands and book shops? And the cops didn’t seize the copies and arrest the vendors? Tell me it’s a fake cover. Please.

  18. Anna T. Says:

    1. Did someone knit that outfit right onto her body? I was under the impression they didn’t sew people into clothing anymore.

    2. Wow, an attractive blonde woman is about to be ravished by an eldritch abomination. The only original thing about this one is that the monster has a large rose or peony for a head.

  19. JuanPaul Says:

    They are 170 and 125 pages, respectively. Why would anyone bother to abridge them?

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