Oct 17
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It’s a Two-fer Tuesday – A. Merritt Avon Special
Tag Wizard Comments:
I’m debating whether to add a naked-blonde-with-pointy-weapon tag.
Is there another candidate cover here?
Published 1951
Thanks to The Baron for sending these in!

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Tagged with: A. Merritt • Avon Books • big hair • chains • damsel • devil's dumplings • dude • fat guy • non-papillial person • spikes • stairway to heaven • starkers • tasteful smoke • two-fer • Unknown Artist Institute • WTF
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October 17th, 2017 at 10:33 am
1: “What fresh Hell is this? It’s a backscratcher, you perverse she-devil!”
2: aka Who Needs Nipples, Anyway?
October 17th, 2017 at 11:00 am
1. OK let’s switch. My turn to be the master. Your turn to be the slave.
2. Slayer is auditioning for a new lead singer.
October 17th, 2017 at 11:19 am
#1 I can just hear frank Thring in my head commanding “release the nipple gas”.
#2 This, I surmise, is set some year later, after the invention of automatic nipple gas dispenser.
“I have no idea how nipple gas works but it’s a doozy for getting rid of unsightly nipples.” – one of the blondes, probably.
October 17th, 2017 at 11:41 am
Harvey Weinstein called and he wants to produce the movie adaptation! Of course, he had some ideas for changing the titles: “Ishtar in Love” or “The Ishtar Patient,” or “The Misunderstood Mogul.”
October 17th, 2017 at 11:42 am
Seriously, I have NO idea what’s going on in Cover #2. (Where’s the “WTF” tag??)
October 17th, 2017 at 12:16 pm
You could be forgiven for thinking those were epithets, like “The King of Pop” or “Fastest Gun in the West”.
October 17th, 2017 at 12:19 pm
Read ’em for free:
“We passed into a tunnel, fern walled, fern roofed, garlanded with tawny orchids, gay with carmine fungus and golden moss. We stepped out into a blaze of sunlight.”
“Brave men, strong men, men who died shouting, kissing sword blade and spear point as gayly as a bride. Are you one of these?”
October 17th, 2017 at 1:19 pm
1. “Hey, King, cool it with the man spread.”
2. The Metal Monster, aka Steely Dan—”I’m telling you it was this big!”
October 17th, 2017 at 1:46 pm
Are Rogers and Clarke the entertainment on The Ship of Ishtar? “Telling the truth can be dangerous business – honesty and popular don’t go hand in hand!”
October 17th, 2017 at 2:00 pm
1. I don’t think this versions cover helped sell many copies.
https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1189793562l/122048.jpg
2. Murder Mystery Monthly just sucks the joy out of reading. Again.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-g1q1EIjebF4/VWt37KmLkkI/AAAAAAAAHW0/5h2cNQakJmw/s1600/A.%2BMerritt-Avon-Metal%2BMonster-%252341.jpg
1. Space Mist to the rescue.
2. She should sing a duet with yesterdays cover. Maybe some Sonny and Cher.
October 17th, 2017 at 5:34 pm
1. Ken Russell’s ‘Gilda’
2. Jodorowsky’s “Evita”
October 17th, 2017 at 6:35 pm
1. A. Merritt? More like D. Merit!
2, I believe she is called the “Lightning Witch” and those are metallic intelligences if Goodreads is to be believed. I don’t care enough to read it even if it is free.
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/1598075.The_Metal_Monster
October 17th, 2017 at 6:50 pm
@Raoul: hm, I’m using a metallic intelligence to communicate with people all over the globe and look at porTRAYALS OF PEOPLE IN THE MEDIA. Who just happen to be naked. It’s in the book that’s free and it’s artistically justified. I’m quite certain of it.
October 17th, 2017 at 10:53 pm
1. I would like to say “good show, sir!” to whoever wrote that tag line. I salute you, unknown copywriter of 1951. And also unknown artist. Yowzers.
2. Did the metal grinder/morning star/Steely Dan remove her nipples? That would explain why she looks somewhat alarmed. Perhaps screaming in pain.
I, too, request the WTF tag for #2.
N.B. unlike the last two covers, I have no connection to these.
October 18th, 2017 at 2:24 am
@TW: Technically, a platinum blonde, but meets all of the other criteria.
Does this count as a pointed weapon?
October 18th, 2017 at 2:31 am
Sorry Dead Stuff. Her boyfriend is the one holding the pointy weapon. Not the blonde. No new tag.
October 18th, 2017 at 4:05 am
#1 Bet y’all didn’t even notice the spooky guy in the background.
#2 she lost her sh*t at a dinner get-together and is flipping over a game of Space Monopoly, “f**k this game!!”
October 18th, 2017 at 4:14 am
Cover one really just represents a common dream from college. During a surprise test that you’re not prepared for, the professor asks you to name a novel by A. Merritt. You blurt out “The Shit of Ishpar,” and next you know you are naked in front of the university marching band while that one cute T.A. comes over to rake your tender bits with a fork.
October 18th, 2017 at 5:50 am
“No! You heard me wrong! I didn’t ask you to fork me!”
October 18th, 2017 at 4:53 pm
1: The Ship of Kink, more likely. Or The Ship of Sadism, or BSDM as interpreted by someone completely ignorant of it . . .
2: A naked woman sings an operatic aria over a crystalline being. I certainly don’t see any metal around here.
October 18th, 2017 at 6:36 pm
JuanPaul, thanks for pointing out the sinister figure in black standing next to the throne in Cover #1.
That’s the king’s lawyer, by the way.
October 19th, 2017 at 12:13 am
#1: Oh, that’s a staircase behind King Harvey, the babes, and the lawyer. I’d scrolled down so I only saw the lower half of the cover, at which point it looks exactly like one of those roll-up metal doors on tracks that you get in rented storage spaces. Which made the whole thing even more surreal, picturing it all happening in some sort of giant warehouse.
So now I’ve just noticed how the row of uniformed dudes fade into the tasteful smoke and overlap the staircase in a way that’s not possible with the physics and art we know. Perspective is completely wrong.
Or Tor Mented could have gotten it 100% correct with his dream interpretation.
October 29th, 2017 at 2:49 pm
I think the category is “Artfully Hidden Nipples”.