Oct 17

'Tickle Fight!'Click for larger image

She's singing in the key of B sharpClick for larger image

It’s a Two-fer Tuesday – A. Merritt Avon Special

Tag Wizard Comments:

I’m debating whether to add a naked-blonde-with-pointy-weapon tag.
Is there another candidate cover here?

Published 1951

Thanks to The Baron for sending these in!

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.73 out of 10)

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23 Responses to “The Ship of Ishtar & The Metal Monster”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    1: “What fresh Hell is this? It’s a backscratcher, you perverse she-devil!”

    2: aka Who Needs Nipples, Anyway?

  2. Bibliomancer Says:

    1. OK let’s switch. My turn to be the master. Your turn to be the slave.

    2. Slayer is auditioning for a new lead singer.

  3. Francis Boyle Says:

    #1 I can just hear frank Thring in my head commanding “release the nipple gas”.

    #2 This, I surmise, is set some year later, after the invention of automatic nipple gas dispenser.

    “I have no idea how nipple gas works but it’s a doozy for getting rid of unsightly nipples.” – one of the blondes, probably.

  4. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Harvey Weinstein called and he wants to produce the movie adaptation! Of course, he had some ideas for changing the titles: “Ishtar in Love” or “The Ishtar Patient,” or “The Misunderstood Mogul.”

  5. A.R.Yngve Says:

    Seriously, I have NO idea what’s going on in Cover #2. (Where’s the “WTF” tag??)

  6. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    You could be forgiven for thinking those were epithets, like “The King of Pop” or “Fastest Gun in the West”.

  7. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    Read ’em for free:

    “We passed into a tunnel, fern walled, fern roofed, garlanded with tawny orchids, gay with carmine fungus and golden moss. We stepped out into a blaze of sunlight.”

    “Brave men, strong men, men who died shouting, kissing sword blade and spear point as gayly as a bride. Are you one of these?”

  8. B. Chiclitz Says:

    1. “Hey, King, cool it with the man spread.”

    2. The Metal Monster, aka Steely Dan—”I’m telling you it was this big!”

  9. THX 1138 Says:

    Are Rogers and Clarke the entertainment on The Ship of Ishtar? “Telling the truth can be dangerous business – honesty and popular don’t go hand in hand!”

  10. fred Says:

    1. I don’t think this versions cover helped sell many copies.

    2. Murder Mystery Monthly just sucks the joy out of reading. Again.

    1. Space Mist to the rescue.

    2. She should sing a duet with yesterdays cover. Maybe some Sonny and Cher.

  11. Tat Wood Says:

    1. Ken Russell’s ‘Gilda’
    2. Jodorowsky’s “Evita”

  12. Raoul Says:

    1. A. Merritt? More like D. Merit!

    2, I believe she is called the “Lightning Witch” and those are metallic intelligences if Goodreads is to be believed. I don’t care enough to read it even if it is free.

  13. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @Raoul: hm, I’m using a metallic intelligence to communicate with people all over the globe and look at porTRAYALS OF PEOPLE IN THE MEDIA. Who just happen to be naked. It’s in the book that’s free and it’s artistically justified. I’m quite certain of it.

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    1. I would like to say “good show, sir!” to whoever wrote that tag line. I salute you, unknown copywriter of 1951. And also unknown artist. Yowzers.

    2. Did the metal grinder/morning star/Steely Dan remove her nipples? That would explain why she looks somewhat alarmed. Perhaps screaming in pain.

    I, too, request the WTF tag for #2.

    N.B. unlike the last two covers, I have no connection to these.

  15. Dead Stuff With Big Teeth Says:

    @TW: Technically, a platinum blonde, but meets all of the other criteria.

    Does this count as a pointed weapon?

  16. Tag Wizard Says:

    Sorry Dead Stuff. Her boyfriend is the one holding the pointy weapon. Not the blonde. No new tag.

  17. JuanPaul Says:

    #1 Bet y’all didn’t even notice the spooky guy in the background.

    #2 she lost her sh*t at a dinner get-together and is flipping over a game of Space Monopoly, “f**k this game!!”

  18. Tor Mented Says:

    Cover one really just represents a common dream from college. During a surprise test that you’re not prepared for, the professor asks you to name a novel by A. Merritt. You blurt out “The Shit of Ishpar,” and next you know you are naked in front of the university marching band while that one cute T.A. comes over to rake your tender bits with a fork.

  19. Bibliomancer Says:

    “No! You heard me wrong! I didn’t ask you to fork me!”

  20. Anna T. Says:

    1: The Ship of Kink, more likely. Or The Ship of Sadism, or BSDM as interpreted by someone completely ignorant of it . . .

    2: A naked woman sings an operatic aria over a crystalline being. I certainly don’t see any metal around here.

  21. A.R.Yngve Says:

    JuanPaul, thanks for pointing out the sinister figure in black standing next to the throne in Cover #1.

    That’s the king’s lawyer, by the way.

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:

    #1: Oh, that’s a staircase behind King Harvey, the babes, and the lawyer. I’d scrolled down so I only saw the lower half of the cover, at which point it looks exactly like one of those roll-up metal doors on tracks that you get in rented storage spaces. Which made the whole thing even more surreal, picturing it all happening in some sort of giant warehouse.

    So now I’ve just noticed how the row of uniformed dudes fade into the tasteful smoke and overlap the staircase in a way that’s not possible with the physics and art we know. Perspective is completely wrong.

    Or Tor Mented could have gotten it 100% correct with his dream interpretation.

  23. George P Says:

    I think the category is “Artfully Hidden Nipples”.

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