Jan 25

What the ffuck?

Click for larger image

Nigel Comments: Pish Posh and Balderdash! Let me finish off this doobie and I’ll conjure up another curious quest tale.
“It was a dark and stormy night …”

Published 1986

GSS Admin: Here’s the original artwork. Can’t find a higher resolution though.

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.50 out of 10)

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26 Responses to “The Curious Quests of Brigadier Ffellowes”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    This is the reason Downton Abbey was cancelled.

  2. Bibliomancer Says:

    Seems that doobie is laced with angel dust.

  3. Francis Boyle Says:

    Either my brain is melting or this cover is. Come to think of it, it’s probably both. Possibly it’s contagious*. Run!

    *I think this is what Ebola of the brain feels like.

  4. GSS Admin Says:

    Ah yes FFellows, I know the man, loved to smoke cigars and rapier horses.

  5. Tag Wizard Says:

    Brigadier Ffellowes, the Fflashman of Ffantasy books.

  6. fTom Noir Says:

    How much does one of those silent F’s cost? I’m thinking of having one added.

  7. Francis Boyle Says:

    Two lower case ‘f’s cost slightly more than one upper case ‘f’, but at least your name will keep working if one of them ffails.

  8. C. Alberga Says:

    Shouldn’t that be “ffellowes”?

  9. fred Says:

    When you want quality in double effs the name is ffolkes.

  10. B.Chiclitz Says:

    A curious bbrigadier, FFelllowes
    Was ffeeling a little bit mmellowe
    He ppuffed on his wweed
    And sskewered his ssteed
    Then sskulked away to a bbbordello

  11. SI Says:

    So how does one actually pronounce Ffellows? Is the F silent?

  12. Tor Mented Says:

    @SI: ‘Ellows, mate.

  13. Tat Wood Says:

    @Si: C. Alberga is right, it ought to be two lower-case fs. In Welsh (it being a different language) you get a lot of that. One f on its own doing the work of the johnny-come-lately ‘v’ seems to work for them.

    Sterling E Lanier wasn’t Welsh, though. He wasn’t even English, despite years at Harvard mixing with wannabe toffs.

  14. JuanPaul Says:

    “So there I was! Deep in the heart of Crow Kingdom armed only with my Webley and facing down the most fearsome crow-beast in naught my skivvies!”

    “Goodness, sir, what DID you do?”

  15. Alice Says:

    The Downton Abbey Halloween Special

  16. Ray P Says:

    The Brig loves it when a plan comes together.

  17. VCXZ Says:

    Don’t really see what the problem is. Haven’t read this myself, but if the Wikipedia article is accurate (fantasy stories framed as tall tales told in bars and clubs), then it seems pretty fitting. And why do people keep mentioning Downton Abbey?

  18. Bibliomancer Says:

    @B.Chiclitz – Good Ode Sir!

  19. Anna T. Says:

    @Ray P: Yes he does.

    I’m not sure what that man with the sword expects to do against a horse-riding demon, given it’s a rapier.

    The smoking man’s lack of moustache is another mystery.

  20. Tag Wizard Says:

    @VCXZ – It’s why we’re here. But thanks for your comments. I look at this site and ask myself “why” pretty much every day.

  21. Bibliomancer Says:


    “Goodness gracious sir! Why was the fearsome crow-beast wearing your skivvies?”

  22. Tat Wood Says:

    @VCXZ: there are two reasons: one is that this is an American trotting out dated and inaccurate cliches about England (you’ll see from the url that this is a UK-based site) and that can be irritating in the extreme..The other is the name ffellowes/ Fellowes,as in ‘Julian’.

  23. THX 1138 Says:

    @Tat #22: I think it’s Julian’s disembodied, cigar-chomping head looking like a Texas oilman. Also, no Brit would use the word “skivvies” to describe their underpants, but I see what we’re doing here, it’s meta-commentary on the inaccurate text of the novel. Very smart!

  24. C. Alberga Says:

    @Tat #13 I believe that the initial “ff” is the capital of “f” in one of the earlier (say 1500s) forms of handwriting. I think it might be Secretarial, but I don’t have my source handy.

  25. Tat Wood Says:

    @THX 1138: no Englishman (although the word might cover housemaids and washerwomen) and nobody before WWI as far as I can work out , so Bibliomancer covered the anachronism portfolio as well.

    Good show.

  26. GSS ex-noob Says:

    So this is like the English version of a Baen book cover?

    I’m fflabberghasted.

    In what curious quest was his head fflattened sideways?

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