Feb 12
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This guy just dropped a steaming load of bad covers on GSS Admin, so the boss told me to make this “JuanPaul Week”. Register your complaints using the handy “submit” button above. Plus, send in at least four high-quality losers and next week may be all yours! Enjoy! — Tag
JuanPaul Comments: Try pronouncing the author’s last name with a thick and exaggerated Russian accent. It’s good fun.
Published 1985
(Average: 7.23 out of 10)
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(9.25 out of 10)
Lastest Tweet
February 12th, 2018 at 9:05 am
‘Old-fashioned biology’ includes cheese-making.
I sent six in last week. At least four are sufficiently rancid.
February 12th, 2018 at 10:46 am
Publisher’s Weekly, you incurable romantics!
February 12th, 2018 at 12:11 pm
Love! Physics! Extras from ‘Tron’! This book has it all!
February 12th, 2018 at 12:17 pm
Didn’t Christopher Reeve manage the same thing just by wishing very hard – no modern physics involved? Or can you only do that if you were superman in another movie? And no, I don’t really want to talk about how terrible this cover is.
February 12th, 2018 at 1:17 pm
Burrowed Time by A. Hamster
February 12th, 2018 at 1:44 pm
‘old-fashioned biology’. A tag name in search of a GSS use.
I see no obvious depiction of time, unless the string of space pearls in the background is an analemma.
.’Barrowed Time’ by A. Wight.
February 12th, 2018 at 1:49 pm
Does a “fantasy review” mean they just made that one up?
February 12th, 2018 at 3:15 pm
Did Photoshop have the make-text-follow-path tool in 1985?
February 12th, 2018 at 3:42 pm
‘Burrowed Time’ by A. Hamilton.
February 12th, 2018 at 4:49 pm
I can’t get “modern physics and old-fashioned biology” out of my head. Who describes a book like that?
Also, someone ought to alert the lovebirds that a one-eyed cyborg is watching them kiss.
February 12th, 2018 at 4:54 pm
Like an old exhausted star collapsing into itself, this cover is imploding under the weight of its own attempts at signification. Just too much there there (so much and yet—so little).
I am particularly intrigued by those two floating heads, rather smirky, wearing what look like hats made of crabs legs, and suffering from a bad case of cleft-chinitis.
February 12th, 2018 at 6:25 pm
“Burroughs Time” by A. Monkey or A. Junkie.
February 12th, 2018 at 6:29 pm
This kiss is reminiscent of the metaphysical battle between the two sorcerers, Egg Shen and Lo Pan, in Big Trouble in Little China.
February 12th, 2018 at 9:35 pm
The main couple are at the angles you’d get if you tried to get Barbie and Ken to snog. Their necks can’t bend so their whole bodies are tilting.
February 13th, 2018 at 12:24 am
“An unusual love story based on modern physics, clandestine chemistry, and old-fashioned biology” — Publishes Weakly
February 13th, 2018 at 4:45 am
HrrrRUsskkka.
It is fun!
Wonder what the Russian words for “enormous nose” are? I guess that’s also included in the old-fashioned biology.
This is so awful and yet I was sure I’d seen it before. Or at least something very similar and equally terrible.
What’s with the Mardi Gras beads around the glittery sea urchin on the left? Why are the three smirky Tron extras there at all? Who thought that font and kerning was a good idea?
What’s a book about old-fashioned physics and modern biology?
Would I be better served by watching that Christopher Reeve movie @fred mentioned again? (Yes.)
BAEN!sneeze
(the large schnoz seems to be dripping downward)
sigh… and only one of my cover submissions has made it…