Jul 19

Author and artist. Definitely not pseudonyms.Click for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Bold move not blaming this one on the Unknown Artist Institute.

Published 1962

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.19 out of 10)

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34 Responses to “The Sex Life of the Gods”

  1. THX 1138 Says:

    Janet comes in three colours and is manufactured in wipe-clean polythene.

  2. Longtime_Lurker Says:

    Yes, clearly fantasy.

  3. Bibliomancer Says:

    Someone at Uptown Books forgot to renew the copyright on this bad boy:

  4. Raoul Says:

    “As demanding as a nympho” is quite a simile. Kind of like “he was as tall as a big guy”.

  5. Tat Wood Says:

    “A body like that of French movie star”.

    Gerard Depadieu? Louis de Funes?

  6. JuanPaul Says:

    Dude, when you’re done helping her up, could you help me get my jaw off the floor?

  7. THX 1138 Says:

    Misprint. Title actually Sects Life of the Gods.

  8. Ken Says:

    There is info on the actual Michael Knerr to be found here

  9. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Bibliomancer—Damn you, maestro. I’ve spent the last fifteen minutes just scrolling through this thing—can’t bring myself to continue, but want to share these gems of writing that’s so bad it’s great. It’s all warm turgid uplifts here. That Unknown Writers Institute sometimes trains them real good!

    More or Less Random Grabs while scrolling, Chapters 1-6:
    “The warm cones of her breasts ”

    “And he could see the warmth of her body, sheathed in the web-like gown that seemed spun over her turgid breasts and curved hips by an army of artistic spiders.”

    “Beth Danson was a woman who had the unconscious ability to look beautiful under any circumstances.”

    “He watched her walk, upon curvaceous legs, to the edge of the bed. ”

    “the warm thrust of her breasts beneath the silk blouse.”

    “the warm pressure of her soft breasts rested boldly upon his arm as though they knew they belonged there.”

    “the warm lift of her brightly nippled breasts and the strong response of her rounded thighs.”

  10. Bibliomancer Says:

    @B Chiclitz – I got the vapors over this gem:

    The smooth curve of her shoulders glowed in the light and her face was kissed by shadows. The arching lift of her breasts and the impassioned nipples threw a wash of dark shadow downward over the flat of her stomach and the lithe curve of her thighs. With the light covering the beauty of her face, Jela lost her identity.

    She was woman. Period.

    Any and all, from time immemorial, or immoral, perhaps. She was somehow, standing there, a composite of every woman who had ever drawn a breath. She was the best of woman, the choicest parts of all women since the dawn of time, suddenly thrown together in a high breasted, slim waisted creation that was being offered to him, only to him.

  11. Longtime_lurker Says:

    At the moment the random terrible cover is “Climbing Olympus”. Coincidence? I think not.

  12. Tor Mented Says:

    When the gods have sex, do they scream “Oh, human! Oh, human!”?

  13. Anna T. Says:

    @B. Chiclitz, @Bibliomancer, I just wanted to thank the two of you for your valiant service in looking through this terrible book. I doubt I would have the fortitude to look through so much sexist trash.

    Honestly, if I didn’t know better, I might suspect this was some kind of parody. Eeeh.

  14. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Anna T.—Oh, we’ll always take one for the team. Truth is, we’re in GSS World, where “terrible” usually means “what a wonderful gift”! This one’s like Mickey Spillane meets Strategic Air Command.

  15. B. Chiclitz Says:

    And may I add that among the cheesy, soft-core turgidity, there are the occasional gems of political prophecy, like this observation, from page 17, that predicted the Helsinki meeting:

    “It’s out of control,” he mused. “And it isn’t one of ours. Russian?”

    “Might be.”

  16. Francis Boyle Says:

    “Lady, with a rocket like mine I don’t need no penis pump.”

  17. Yoss Says:

    She possessed heels so round they put Plato’s perfect circle to shame….

  18. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Yoss— 😉

  19. Alice Says:

    This is like porn written by a 13-year-old boy who hasn’t gotten laid yet.

  20. Bibliomancer Says:

    I thought this guy’s uniform looked familiar.

  21. Anna T. Says:

    @B. Chiclitz: You have a point there. Prophecy from bad SF novels is new, but I can get behind it. I suppose that there are always a few treasures hidden in the trash heap.

  22. Longtime_Lurker Says:

    @Alice: more like porn written by a 40-year-old man who hasn’t gotten laid yet. It’s literate in the sense that he can spell and punctuate, but that’s all. I’m trying to remember a limerick that ends “But the action was all in his head.”.

  23. JuanPaul Says:

    Dammit Janet!

  24. sarcastic horse Says:

    “…the firm mounds of her breasts lifted their rubbery, coral tipped nipples toward the sky.”

    He’s an expert at writing scenes that are the exact opposite of sexy.

  25. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Are Polynesian dancers more wanton than dancers from other cultures? And couldn’t that way-too-long blurb have been shortened by just saying she was a nympho?

    She had some talented breasts, huh?

    Like @Anna T, I am not going to take a look at that. The stuff BC and B’master quoted sounds like Bulwer-Lytton entries.

    What’s she kneeling on — looks like a couple of scrapes in the dirt? Is the manly man in the old cavalry/cowboy outfit picking her up to get her out of rocket range?

    Husband’s reaction: “Don’t look like gods to me.”

  26. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Given the way the guy’s holding her head, it seems he wants her to perform an act, to which she is unwilling.

  27. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @A-S: So maybe her wanton nympho ways are greatly exaggerated. Because she does look like she wants to get away from Space F Troop guy.

    @sarcastic horse: Rubbery nipples? Ewww. Only a good thing if you’re bottle-feeding a baby. Not at all ever sexy.

  28. DaveM Says:

    @B. Chiclitz (9),
    The line about her “turgid breasts” is an odd choice of words (even for this trash).

    turgid (definition)
    1. swollen and distended or congested.
    2. (of language or style) tediously pompous or bombastic.

    So I’m pretty sure while the text sure is turgid, her breasts are probably not (and if they are, she should probably book a doctors appointment just to be safe).

    So here we have a book cover with a sexist and racist blurb, A trashy title with an unforgivable font, a by the numbers softcore cover picture that can best be described as “vaguely competent”, and yet it’s still better than this book deserves! Good Show Sir!

  29. A.R.Yngve Says:

    I had to check the sources to be CERTAIN this book wasn’t a clever spoof.
    It’s tricky to make fun about something that is already this silly, but here goes…

    She’s actually saying: “You’re not going to space wearing THAT, are you?”

  30. fred Says:

    Audiobook. Lots o’ voices.

  31. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @fred: You can’t expect one person to read that all the way through. It’d be like an “Eye of Argon” reading, only so much longer and with more psychological damage. Especially for the women.

    One of my proudest fannish accomplishments is making it all the way through a page of Argon. I’ve seen many fail to get through a sentence.

  32. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @Tor Mented @12: “Oh, Azathoth!”

    @GSS ex-noob: applause.

  33. GSS ex-noob Says:

    One time — an earlier one in which I failed — I recall a mid-list author known for her wit taking a look at her assigned first line and breaking out in helpless laughter before she got a word out, handing it on to the next.

    I did get a part-standing ovation when I cleared a page.

  34. fred Says:

    1970 interview w/the author of “Eye of Argon”.

    ‘The idea for the story came to me while watching Alfred Hitchcock reruns.
    Incidentally, my story has nothing to do with what was on television.’

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