Apr 08

Shades of Sinbad, the comedianClick for larger image

Good Show Sir Comments: Apparently this harem is somewhere in Florida.

Thanks to Ryan for sending this in.

Published 1984

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.00 out of 10)

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24 Responses to “The Harem of Aman Akbar”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    “I only asked what’s the difference between a crocodile and an alligator!”

  2. fred Says:

    John Wick 3?

  3. Bibliomancer Says:


    “Why are you trying to kill me?”

  4. Tat Wood Says:

    Anne, it’s spelled ‘Scarborian’ and the treats begin and end with McCain Oven Chips. Try Whitby, it’s more your style.

  5. Francis Boyle Says:

    Crikey, my lord.

  6. DonPaul Nogueira Says:

    “C’mon, crocogator! Mama needs a new handbag!”

  7. Tat Wood Says:

    Revealed: the real reason Fleetwood Mac stopped touring.

  8. B. Chiclitz Says:

    I’m wondering about the back story here. Seems those two smaller figures had been in the pool with the crocogator, perhaps, given their postures, engaged in some harem hanky-panky with each other, but the crocogator, for some reason, decides not to attack them, but rather leap out of the pool to confront two people armed with dagger and scimitar. This croc deserves a Darwin award.

  9. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Embiggened, the parrot reveals itself as a true hipster, replete with shades and a mohawk, and probably saying “This shit’s for the birds. I need to chill.”

  10. Tat Wood Says:

    Oh, all right, it’s been nearly eight hours, I’ll bite:

    IT’S A TRAP!

  11. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @B. Chiclitz: you’re quite right, that’s definitely a parrot in sunglasses. Hard to say if he’s more “Johnny Bravo” or “Iceman.”

    I suppose the dusky ladies in back are supposed to be scared, but they look more sleepy and/or bored.

    “Oh, great. Another heroic battle with a random encounter monster. That’s like, how many this month?”

    That metal visor makes the blonde woman with the sword look like the Harem accountant.

  12. Bruce A Munro Says:

    On the subject of postures: the stance of the woman with the sword is..odd. Is she trying to fight the crocogator while also bellydancing?

    The swordsman appears to be taking a leap towards the crocodile, right foot still on the ground, left leg lifted. Unless his left foot is resting on the rim of the pool, in which case he’s sort of overextended for a good swing. Either way, he’ll be lucky not to fall into the water. The overlap between his lower body and the woman’s is a bit infelicitous, making it took as if the skirt of his jacket is coming out of her bra.

  13. fred Says:

    Looking at her left foot, harem pants, and body posture, how is that pose possible without a serious leg injury?

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I was going to say “Shouldn’t this have a short incoherent blurb from Anne Mc?” when I hit the larger version and saw it was a LONG blurb. I swear there’s half as many words on the cover as on the average page. And smushed up into the busiest part of the background.

    The art itself is way, way, busy and too muted in color, but it’s pretty good. Nice detail on the crocogator and the people look like people, of identifiable species and gender. Although I’m not sure about the lady in back, but I can tell whoever s/he/it is, they’re bored by this spectacle. Must be a pretty exciting palace and harem if this is what passes for a dull afternoon. The man on the right doesn’t care that there’s a crocogator fight right next to him, just that the, er, attentions he was getting from the young lady have ceased. She at least looks mildly alarmed.

    Yon harem accountant hasn’t learned you don’t dagger fight crocogators while standing in a mutant ballet posture. Maybe she’d do better if her left leg wasn’t broken. Ditto Akbar’s footwork. I think crocogator’s got a real chance here. As always from UAI, “feet are hard”.

    However, there is no excuse for the mohawked, sunglass-wearing parrot. I don’t care if it’s in the book, it shouldn’t be on the cover. It’s an 80’s kewl dewd and we would have snorted in derision back then. It’s all “how do you do, fellow young people?” and isn’t improved by the passage of time.

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Wait a second… Florida, bad fighting posture, bored people in the background, stereotypical costumes/sets, possibly mechanical reptile, undoubtedly wise-cracking bird…

    This is Disneyworld, isn’t it.

  16. Tor Mented Says:

    Regarding the woman on the right … what, erm, is that in her left hand? Was she caught in flagrante del-handjobo?
    I was also going to make a joke about the sunglass-wearing parrot, but two things stopped me. One, I thought the crest was more of an Elvis pompadour than a Mohawk, but I couldn’t figure out what Elvis tune the parrot would probably be singing.(“You Ain’t Nothin’ but a Crocagator?”)
    Also, I noticed the parrot’s right eye. I think the black patch is supposed to be a part of its beak, but it sure does look like shades.

  17. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Tor M—He’d either be singing “Animal Instinct” or “Harem Holiday,” two actual Elvis tracks from this album which happens to be the soundtrack from the film of the same name. Don’t quite know how you sensed that, but Good Show!

  18. Anti-Sceptic Says:

    Gators and Parrots? Aman Akbar sure has a strange harem!

  19. Tor Mented Says:

    @B.C. #17. Of course! I should have thought of that. GSS.

  20. anon Says:

    “Blight of child readers and abaci! Hundred Shades of Greenish Orange
    is better writing than this – expect to feel nausea.
    Go at this bozo for ginning UTI.” — Anne MacCaffrey

    Barak Ate Her Man of Ham
    / Fake Roman Bath, Ham-Ear
    / Heh, Neat Ka-Bar for Mama

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @BC: Brilliant, if true. I’m still seeing the parrot as an 80s dude, though. Possibly singing A Flock of Seagulls tunes.

    @Tor: Hand or blow, she was doing one of those. Mr. xnoob agrees.

    @anon: I don’t know how you so consistently get these so appropriate. The last two lines are both perfect for this illustration.

  22. anon Says:

    @GSS ex-noob: I mostly don’t.
    I get some inklings of ideas, but usually the letters just aren’t there and for the rest I end up with a huge pool of leftovers that just have to be crammed in somehow. The end result is usually something diluted down with some gibberish names or exclamations, etc. I don’t have the talent. I just got lucky this time the ideas fit the cover, but there’s clearly some “spillage” there. Not as neat as I’d hoped.

    I’m actually fairly satisfied with the Die Hexenkönigin, even though it wasn’t particularly “clean” either and I had to change to another language. I just hope there wasn’t any grammatical errors.

  23. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @anon: But you always get the spirit or zeitgeist or whatever across, and at least one or two phrases are always spot-on. Frankly, you’re usually closer to the cover illo than the cover is to the book.

  24. Ryan Says:

    When I first picked up this book, I was sure the lady wearing blue jeans and a bra standing in the background was giving the alligator combat a thumbs-down as her personal editorial statement.

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