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Jun 18

Arma-gettin-outahereClick for larger image

Dr Bob Comments I predict a riot, I predict a riot.

Published 1986

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.60 out of 10)
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23 Responses to “Wrack & Roll”

  1. Francis Boyle Says:

    “In an alternate America”. . . missile bondage is a thing.

  2. fred Says:

    The faux Robocops don’t seem very effective.

  3. THX 1139 Says:

    “Goes excellently with our soup!”

  4. JuanPaul Says:

    wrack
    /rak/

    noun: wrack
    any of a number of coarse brown seaweeds which grow on the shoreline, frequently each kind forming a distinct band in relation to high- and low-water marks. Many have air bladders for buoyancy

    Okay, title, now that I know what wrack is you have my attention.

  5. A. R.Yngve Says:

    I dare you – I double dare you – to deny that this cover rocks. Hard.

  6. Bibliomancer Says:

    @ARY – This cover doesn’t rock. It WRACKS!

  7. Adzel Says:

    Thanks, now I’ll be hearing this all day….

    “And the man at the back said
    Everyone attack and it turned into a ballroom blitz
    And the girl in the corner said
    Boy, I wanna warn ya, it’ll turn into a ballroom blitz”

  8. Tat Wood Says:

    I’m just thinking of that ‘Quincy’ episode. Or the film ‘Hearts of Fire’.

  9. Ryan Says:

    Is that Derek Smalls wielding the chain there in the foreground?

    This must be during his Lamsblood period, when he was not active with Spinal Tap.

  10. B. Chiclitz Says:

    And of course the B Side to Perry Como’s “Gorrill o’ My Dreams” is the Tommy Dorsey classic—

    🎵🎶🎵
    Never thought I’d fall,
    But now I hear love call,
    Armageddon sentimental over you

    🎵🎶🎵

  11. Lillie Awesome Says:

    I hate to break it to non-binary Brian May there, but that guitar they’re holding looks like it’s about six inches thick, so it’s gotta weigh upwards of 50 pounds. They’re looking at almost certain future back problems, even if they don’t shatter both ankles on impact. I’ll put in a call to Alternate OSHA.

  12. Rick Deckard Says:

    Interesting they have a top-hatted Slash look-alike guitarist on a 1986 cover.

  13. Tat Wood Says:

    It’s an Alternative America where these tossers were any good at all https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Music (mind you, the track record of bands too naff to make it in Britain getting big in America is long and terrifying. Wang Chung FFS).

  14. daard23 Says:

    Even in an alternate America, Detroit still looks like Detroit.

  15. Bruce A Munro Says:

    In an America where things have gone as the Dad from the “We’re not going to take it” video feared…

    I read this long ago, and as alternate history goes, it’s a bit odd, not only postulating an America where *Heavy Metal fans are more powerful than US organized labor ever was, but a Cold War between the US and a Nationalist China-British Empire alliance (which can only have come from some sort of game of Cold War Mad Libs)

    @Francis Boyle: possibly relating to the Queen of all Rockers having died on the Moon (NASA being no brighter than in our universe when it came to publicity stunts)

    @fred: they do look rather less threatening than a lot of actual US police in 2020.

    @daard23: even in Americas where South America is ruled by intelligent dinosaurs and the US by President Zombie Lincoln, Detroit will eventually tend to converge on Detroit.

    @Lillie Awesome: (Austin Powers voice) That’s a _woman_, baby! (Unless that’s somehow what you meant by non-binary?)

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Eh, it’s no “Buddy Holly Is Alive and Well on Ganymede”. By the same author. Who is also a big aficionado of 50’s lady wrestlers. Nice guy.

    (This has been today’s installment of “Random Things XN has Learned at Cons!”)

    This here is some Peak 80’s. And I’m pretty sure all of us can hear it.

    @Tag W: I must ask for the “mullet” tag, look at the closest brawler to the
    viewer.

    @Bruce: So you’re saying Detroit is inevitable. I’m not sure how to feel about that.

    In conclusion: \m/

  17. Jon Oliver Says:

    I may be wrong but that looks to be a cover by Glen Fabry, he of Preacher and 2000 AD fame

  18. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Jon Oliver: It’s credited to Richard Corben of “Heavy Metal”/Den, so maybe he’s doing a Fabry rip-off.

    @Tag W: why is “Don Puckey” here? and why did he get stuck with such a terrible name? Must be a pseudonym.

  19. Tag Wizard Says:

    @GSSxN – From ISFDB:
    “Cover art by Richard Corben” (over) “Cover design by Don Puckey” stated on the copyright page.”

  20. Tat Wood Says:

    @Bruce A Munro, GSS ex-noob: If this is an alternate universe where there’s been no UK influence on rock and roll, are these people corybanting to Pat Boone or Lawrence Welk?

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tag: Thanks. I’m even less impressed by the design than the art. One might even say it’s bull puckey.

    I still want the “mullet” tag. This might be the cover with the most mullets ever on this site.

    @Tat: Maybe US rock and roll picked up the blues directly from Black people instead of second-hand from Brits? Maybe they’re doing some sort of completely unholy kind of heavy metal country-western? (Apocalypse indeed!)

  22. Tat Wood Says:

    @GSS ex-noob: They’d never have done that without something equally big making the ‘white stations’ play stuff their owners refused to countenance. Any alternate history without Skiffle-kids who heard the whole of American music muddled up together (cross-pollinating in ways it never would have in America) then coming to Chicago and wanting to visit Chess Records, going to Memphis and visiting the clubs the tour promoters would rather they hadn’t and so on, is probably still going to be stuck in our universe’s version of 1961. Unless somehow Johnny Hallyday managed to cross over in America and made every teenage boy want to form a garage band playing le Ye Ye…

    And Heavy Metal without Brummies? forget it.

  23. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tat: Given @Bruce’s synopsis, maybe the Brummies are singing in Mandarin? It might be some sort of horribly-amplified Chinese traditional music, and then the Americans translated it.

    We can’t actually tell what it sounds like — only that, like Detroit, mullets are converged upon in all universes.

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