Sep 02

The Breasts of TarzanClick for larger image

Lord Kelvin comments: Tarzan didn’t kill the lion. Tarzan bored him to death.

Published 1951

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.64 out of 10)

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20 Responses to “The Beasts of Tarzan”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    Aka Tarzan’s Arrest for Poaching.

  2. fred Says:

    No way the knife fits in the scabbard.
    He looks to have lost some muscle mass since Opar.

  3. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “The beasts that became Tarzan’s. By being killed by Tarzan.”

    Really, the cover is a wee bit inappropriate for a story which features Tarzan and his Jungle Allies.

    (And the background seems to suggest the adventure takes place somewhere in Arizona).

  4. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Got a pretty sweet wrap-around cover in one of the earlier editions:

  5. Francis Boyle Says:

    That’s not a lion. That’s Steve Bannon.

  6. JuanPaul Says:

    The Bannon Lion is waking up from a 3 martini nap just as Tarzan is taking a selfie with his tiny mobile phone.

  7. Bibliomancer Says:

    This was all worked out ahead of time. After Tarzan is done it’s the lion’s turn to take a selfie standing on Tarzan.

  8. Tor Mented Says:

    (*record scratch*)
    Yeah, that’s me, looking like a lion-skin rug that’s seen better days. I suppose you’re wondering how I woke up with Tarzan here standing on top of me giving the jerk-off symbol with his hand. Well, let’s start at the beginning …

  9. Ryan Says:

    @Bruce, #3 – Yes, specifically, the cover was painted on the road to Cottonwood:

  10. Griz Says:

    Did the same guy pose for Tarzan and the Lion’s face?

  11. Adzel Says:

    Tarzan was willing to do anything to get the White Witch’s attention.

  12. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @Adzel—including wearing a loincloth that doesn’t quite cover those things it’s supposed to cover.

  13. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Ya know, 1951 wasn’t medieval. Artists knew about perspective and realism then.

    Male nips = not allowed, tiny loincloths = Ok. Sure.

    @Bruce: Good point. Tarzan killing his beasts is just Not On. And I do like the wraparound cover.

    @Francis (5): Hey, apologize to the dead lion for that insult.

    @Tor: Heh.

    @Ryan: well-spotted! I wonder about that place though — is having tourists ziplining over predators the best way to get repeat business?

  14. Tat Wood Says:

    Is that supposed to be Michael Hestletine or Norman Lamont?

  15. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Unknown Artist Institute Foot Avoidance Tips and Tricks, #162: hide the feet with a dead lion. (Tigers may also be used, but their lack of mane provides less cover)

  16. Francis Boyle Says:

    @GSS ex-noob

    Heh, ERB wrote a prescient fable about the current state of US politics. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @FB: In which case I think that’s Eric standing atop. You know how those boys like to kill big animals and pose with them.

  18. Tracy Says:

    Who ripped out big hunks of hair from Tarzan’s scalp? I see bald patches.

  19. Verylatetotheparty Says:

    @Tracy: Either the Unknown Artist, or Tarzan’s hairdresser, isn’t very skilled at doing highlights.

  20. A. R. Yngve Says:

    Francis Boyle owns this thread. Good show Sir, good show!

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