Mar 04

King of the SmirksClick for larger image

Walter Featherstone Comments: Saving up to pay for his girlfriend’s other boob job.

Published 1996

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.89 out of 10)

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18 Responses to “The Reluctant King”

  1. Francis Boyle Says:

    Pictured: Everything Alfred E. Neuman’s fantasy actually has.

  2. fred Says:

    The Post is right. I can’t count high enough to number all the fantasy elements in this cover.

  3. THX 1139 Says:

    He needs the sword to lever the crown off.

  4. Tor Mented Says:

    Look at her abdomen. She really is built like a brick sh!thouse.

  5. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @Tor Mented: I think those are scales and she’s a Lamia?

    (Maybe De Camp anticipated anime and he’s got an unwanted harem of monster girls. This has led him to get extremely drunk.)

  6. Bibliomancer Says:

    The king looks like he’s knocked silly.
    Needs a circle of flying birds and stars around his head.

  7. JuanPaul Says:

    I’m waiting for Conan to barge in, knock the crown off King Smirky’s head, and swoop the naga off her feet…tail.

  8. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @JP—definitely smirky, probably because he’s sporting such a jaunty crown!

    @Tor M, @B’Mancer—GSS, GSS!

  9. THX 1139 Says:

    OK, I’m seeing it but not seeing it – which celebrity does the king look like?

  10. Tor Mented Says:

    @Bruce: Now that you say that, I can see the lamia scales.
    I guess I must have been distracted by her … hair.

  11. GSS ex-noob Says:

    This is the epitome of Smirky McSmug.

    He’s so reluctant he doesn’t even know how to wear a crown.

    @THX: A drunk Bryan Cranston playing a complete jerk?

    @Tor, B’man, JP: GSS!

  12. THX 1139 Says:

    @GSS xn: I’m thinking a smug James Remar now? Someone like that.

  13. A. R. Yngve Says:

    What?? “Everything a fantasy should have?” Did the copy editor lose his marbles?
    “A fantasy” should never have just one volume. Fantasy fans are never satisfied with less than a trilogy.

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @THX: I might agree with a young Remar, except this guy’s jaw is too square. James’ chin is not the entire width of his head.

    @ARY: You missed the fine print. “Complete in one volume”. There’s no doubt a trilogy hiding behind Smirky and Cleavage.

  15. THX 1139 Says:

    @GSS xn: Richard Hatch, maybe? Could be the hair!

  16. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @THX: I’d go with Hatch, sure. Everything from the nose north definitely.

    The smirk appears imported from someone else.

  17. Tat Wood Says:

    @THX, x-Noob: I’m thinking mid-80s Griffin Dunne.

  18. fred Says:

    Definitely a young Stephen McHattie.

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