May 10

The Frozen NipplesClick for larger image

Ryan Comments: Forget mastery of the planet, our hero needs to master the use of either a belt or suspenders.

Published 1970

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 8.29 out of 10)

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15 Responses to “The Frozen Planet”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    If he has to hear Let It Go one more time, he won’t be responsible for his actions.

  2. fred Says:

    # unseen plumber’s crack

    Once you realize it’s there, it’ll stay in your head all day.

  3. Francis Boyle Says:

    Pictured: A man attempting to retain his mastery of Kinect Sports during the lockdown.

  4. Tat Wood Says:

    Keith Laumer, Clifford Simak, Daniel Keyes, F.L.Wallace and Allen Kim Lang all paid to have their names removed from this cover.

    All together now:

  5. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Answer to the cover question: Until his crack freezes over!

  6. JuanPaul Says:

    “They took our jaaaaaaaawwwbs!”

  7. GSS ex-noob Says:

    The planet ain’t the only thing that’s frozen.

    Re: the blurb: if your world is already dominated and invaded (and frozen?), that means you ipso facto don’t have mastery of the universe. So the answer is “Sometime in the past”.

    @fred: Too late. I’d already thought of that.

    @THX: LOL.

  8. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Typical macho move, running around a frozen planet without a shirt on.

    Aliens, machines: I’m more concerned about the giant purple space-sperm that seems about to hit (impregnate?) the planet.

  9. Bibliomancer Says:

    MacFadden Books like their cover models buff.

  10. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @B’man: And in the buff.

  11. A. R. Yngve Says:

    “How much longer could man keep his pants up?”

  12. A. R. Yngve Says:

    Ben & Jerry’s new flavor was an unexpected hit with sci-fi fans.

  13. Emster Says:

    Yet another book with the word ‘Frozen” in the title, but no actual snow or ice anywhere on the illustration, so this northerner is curious what the frozenness entails…

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Emster: to be fair, the title “Planet Which Was Formerly Frozen, But Now Is Quite Temperate, As You Can See By Our Shirtless Hero” wouldn’t fit on the book.

  15. Emster Says:

    @GSS ex-noob: I see your point. Also if they did squeeze our shirtless hero down even a smidge, we’d miss out on the groovy super low rise silver pants, which would ruin everyone’s fun, especially mine, as I just had to scroll up one more time to giggle my way through everyone’s crack comedy.

    (I have to work tomorrow, just one more… no maybe two! Yeah, just two more, I’ll only look at two more book covers)

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