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May 17

'If I pull hard enough I can lift myself over the wall!'Click for larger image

jun Comments: Conan is still muscular while in prison. I wonder where he is getting his nutrients….Wait, there is another prisoner in the corner…. but he is all bones now…. I wonder what happened to his flesh…..ohhhh,,,eeewwwww

Published 1989

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 7.83 out of 10)
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18 Responses to “Conan the Invincible”

  1. THX 1139 Says:

    Just Conan doing his morning floor lifting exercise routine.

  2. Cornelius Says:

    At least they gave him a bowl of soup, though a spoon would be nice.

  3. fred Says:

    The sorcerer supreme put Conan in a diaper dignified. Love MARVEL comic book jargon.

  4. Francis Boyle Says:

    Yeah, another cover to give support to my low estimation of the Hyborian clothing industry. Guys, time to produce something elegant but practical for the ancient warrior on the go.

  5. Danny Ramsey Says:

    To be fair, it never took Conan more than a day or two to break out of any prison he was in, so he never really had time to loose his physique. He did do a longer stint as a rowing slave, but that probably only made him more buff.

  6. Max Bathroom Says:

    To be fair, “Conan the Cannibal” is definitely a spin off novel I’d read myself. (Though given the stylish red nappy, this looks more like “Conan the Skinny Sumo Wrestler”.)

  7. Carthoris Says:

    Wait, Conan fighting Doctor Strange? That might have been a “What If?” issue.

  8. Ryan Says:

    The mouseover text is high quality laffs.

  9. NomadUk Says:

    I mean, if we’re going to be marvellous about it, shouldn’t it be ‘The barbarian mighty versus the sorcerer supreme’?

    Also, who knew Conan was a Red Diaper baby? If only Corbyn had called on him for support!

  10. Bruce A Munro Says:

    “Lentil soup? NOOOO!!!”

    @Ryan: Conan has always been a “lift yourself by your bootstraps” kinda guy.

  11. B. Chiclitz Says:

    @NomadUK—But to be super marvellous we’d need to extend the alliteration: “The Barbarian Beefsteak versus the Sorcerer Supreme!”

  12. Tracy Says:

    Wait. Conan is fighting a PIZZA???

    Also, he can’t be too invincible if he is chained up in a dungeon, can he? Even if by his roar of ecstasy he is enjoying it.

  13. JuanPaul Says:

    Conan: “Aaaagh! Conan nose itch!”

    Guard (out of frame): “Sit down, genius”

  14. Bruce A Munro Says:

    @Tracy: maybe it’s an enormous pizza and he’s participating in an eating contest? (He’s training by spending a week in a dungeon with nothing but Spartan Soup to eat.)

  15. GSS ex-noob Says:

    I suspect submitter jun is correct about Conan’s protein source. * Also kudos to the mouseover text.

    @NomadUK: Yes, let’s have some consistency.

    Maybe the Sorcerer Supreme can look into the infinite futures and find something not so silly for Conan to wear. Scarlet Witch does quite a line in costumes suitable for various decades. Or maybe the Magicians of Industrial Light can at least CGI something with a little dignity.

    But regarding politics, don’t be silly. Everyone knows Conan is a moderate Republican.

    @JP: GSS!

    This one isn’t even pictured on ISFDB. Maybe because “chained in a dungeon” doesn’t leap to mind when one thinks “invincible”?

    (looks at picture)
    (looks at author)
    Well, at least he hasn’t got a braid to play with incessantly (/snark)

    *TIL that one of the reasons Amundsen’s crew survived whereas Scott’s didn’t is that in addition to eating their dogs, they ate raw penguins, which kept them from getting scurvy.

    Not giant tentacled electric penguins, though. That was the Sahara.

  16. Tat Wood Says:

    Maybe the Sorcerer Supreme is Mary Wilson, Diana Ross, Florence Ballard or Cindy Birdsong and this is a Cimmerran version of ‘The Voice’. That explains the spotlight. And maybe the shackles.

    He’s belting out ‘I’m Living in Shame’. Only a barbarian or a true pro could keep a straight face when singing the line about homemade jam.

  17. A. R. Yngve Says:

    “By Crom, I demand room service!!”

  18. A. R. Yngve Says:

    Now that’s an original ad for Depends.

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