Jul 05

The curse of static clingClick for larger image

Emster Comments: Sea of Death? I “see” that Gord is getting a mild scolding from the mystic lifeguard for not changing into his swim trunks before entering the pool deck.

Published 1987

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.44 out of 10)

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22 Responses to “Sea of Death”

  1. Leak Says:

    “Shallow Pool of Mild Injury” just doesn’t have the same ring to it…

  2. fred Says:

    Gord is shiny from head to foot, not a good thing for a supposed rogue.

  3. A. R. Yngve Says:

    In the background plays a rendition of the “Mission Impossible” theme on medieval instruments…

  4. JJYoyo Says:

    @ Leak: “Gord the Rogue” seems a little harsh, too. I’d say “Dave the Somewhat Douchy”.

    With the benches ringing the snot green area maybe it’s really “Sauna of Discomfort?”

    @ ARY: I now have a harpsichord version of that theme in my head. And the harpsichord is a medieval instrument, I know. It doesn’t seem to matter.

  5. Max Bathroom Says:

    In fact Gord isn’t a rogue at all: as any fool can plainly see, the title should really be “Gord the Pogue” because he’s Jem Finer in a cunning disguise. Forget AR’s harpsichord, you should be hearing a banjo and accordion rendition…

  6. Ryan Says:

    If climbing up (or down) a chain above a perilous pool, why flourish an eight-inch dagger with one hand? Wouldn’t that second hand be better employed in the climbing portion of the activities?

  7. Tat Wood Says:

    @AR Yngwe: before ‘Mission Impossible’ Ted Astley gave us this – (although a Harpsichord is more Enlightenment but this is D&D so chronology’s all skew-whff).

  8. Francis Boyle Says:

    You have to fear the wizard who can wield the deadly power of passive smoking.

  9. fred Says:

    That is one serious unibrow. Wonder if he puts pomade on that as well.

  10. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Gord’s mission to steal back the WWF’s Championship Belt runs into a snag.

    @Ryan: it was in his concealed ass-scabbard until two seconds ago.

  11. Tor Mented Says:

    Bah. One heavily armored tank with a plus-one crossbow and these two lamers are toast.
    Unless they make their saving throws.

  12. GSS ex-noob Says:

    Wizaaard has really bad aim with that lightning. No wonder Gord (is he from Canada?) is unworried.

    @ARY: I like your background music idea. I’m hearing shawm, hautbois, lutes, zither, some sort of pipe organ. Maybe some monks chanting “DUM da dum-dum,” etc. And damn the history, we do need a harpsichord.

    (Once when I was in choir, we always rehearsed with a piano, and when we got to the venue, there was also a harpsichord. Since one of our songs was either Renaissance or Baroque, we were delighted!)

    @JJYoyo: Looks more like The Jacuzzi of Insufficient Chemicals.

    @Ryan: Yeah, there’s nothing to stab where he is, so shouldn’t he keep that in the scabbard (wherever that might be) and hold on to the chain better?

  13. Bruce A Munro Says:

    It’s actually the dungeon cafeteria, and the pool is full of delicious pea soup!

    @GSS ex-noob: I’d assume he’s going to throw the knife at the wizard. Isn’t that Rogue SOP?

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Bruce: If magickal lightning works like regular lightning, the fact he’s on an iron chain and holding a pointy thing out is gonna also be bad.

    I guess the bad aim will give him long enough to throw the dagger. Otherwise, it’s a short book.

  15. JJYoyo Says:

    @Tat W: Yes indeed the harpsichord is not medieval. Neither is spell-check, which switched my “isn’t” to “is” in my prior comment. Maybe the wizard has a stronger counter-spell check.

  16. JJYoyo Says:

    @GSSxN: Maybe a Hot Tub of Hell? I see a harpsichord version of AC/DC’s “Highway to Hell” as theme music here:

  17. Tor Mented Says:

    How can this guy not have elf ears?

  18. Tat Wood Says:

    @JJYoyo: spellchecks are indeed malicious daemonic forces. Ask any Englishman.

    (I have no excuse for mistyping ‘AR Yngve’ though).

  19. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @JJYoyo: excellent choice of soundtrack. Maybe a shawm too, and a wicked lute section. And hey, bagpipes are medieval if we’re going with AC/DC.

  20. JJYoyo Says:


  21. Emster Says:

    @jjyoyo: If those pipers had been my instructors, and if my dad had promised me a set of pipes with a dragon head, I might have stuck with it… probably best for everyone that I did not…
    Also rather fond of these dudes:

  22. GSS ex-noob Says:


    I bought this CD:
    from the piper’s mum, who ran an excellent B&B.

    Once an African-American friend looked at me and incredulously said “Bagpipes?!” I put my hand on their shoulder, and in my most serious voice said “It’s a Scottish thing. You wouldn’t understand.” Enlightenment dawned.

    I generally quite like pipes. However, from personal experience, I must strongly suggest you NEVER stand in a corrugated sheet metal tunnel which enters into a race track-cum-parade grounds with a pipe band. NEVER.

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