Nov 28

Doc queue's up

Good Show Sir comments: The Old Man and the Sea

Thanks to Ryan for sending this in!

Published 2012

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 6.00 out of 10)

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27 Responses to “The Infernal Buddha”

  1. Bruce A Munro Says:

    The Man of Bronze LARPs harder than anyone else alive.

  2. fred Says:

    The man with the sideways blade.

    Back cover.

  3. Francis Boyle Says:

    He looks remarkedly defiant for a man about to be stabbed by his own? hair.

  4. Tor Mented Says:

    This cover really shows his junk.

  5. Tat Wood Says:

    Patrick Allen probably did the talking* book version as well as posing for the cover.

    Not seeing much Buddhism here, though.

    (*Well, all right, shouting.)

  6. Bibliomancer Says:

    His pigtail is adorbs

  7. The Blue Are Coming Says:

    The Governor will be ready for Michonne this time.

  8. Cornelius Says:

    Pull on that pigtail and his head rings.

  9. Tat Wood Says:

    Dare I suggest a BEHIND YOU! tag as the Dickhead of Bronze is sailing towards a burning junk but doesn’t seem to be aware of it?

  10. fred Says:

    Both an ‘S’ ring AND a skull ring. Doc likes bling.

  11. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @fred: That eBay seller sure doesn’t care much about well-lit photography. All shades of blue instead of the actual gaudy colors.

    @Tor: Rarely has the word “junk” been correctly overused this much to describe a cover.

    @Tat: Good observation. I guess he was supposed to be sailing towards it, but Doc was too busy posing to notice the wind. You’d think the pigtail movement would have clued him in, unless he’s lacquered the thing to keep it perky on the high seas. Also you’d think a genius wouldn’t have a long pigtail available to grab in close-quarter combat, but see prev. sentence.

    At least the lack of scabbard makes sense; nobody produces one for a sword with a blade so weirdly offset.

    Wiki sez this is one of the new ones by some other hack, so the 2012 date is correct.

  12. Bruce A Munro Says:

    2012? I know Ken Robeson is a house name rather than an actual author, but perhaps they should retire the pen name: the poor thing is pushing 90, isn’t it?

  13. Emster Says:

    @Tor: GSS! It was a 10 second delay on my part to get the joke because those MC Hammer pants had me confused. Then I realized you were talking about the boat and I was back on the same page with everyone else…

  14. Hammy Says:

    I do hope Doc (I’m guessing that’s him on the cover, don’t correct me if I’m wrong) realizes that if he straightens his left wrist, the cutting edge of his shiny, sharp scimitar is going to be pointing directly at his left bicep….

  15. JJYoyo Says:

    Captain Pigtail looks to me a lot like Roger Moore. The Man with the Golden Scimitar? For Your Infernal Eyes -(sorry, Eye) – Only? Buddha-raker?

  16. Tor Mented Says:

    @JJYoyo: Good eye.

  17. Tor Mented Says:

    To me, it looks like Nick Nolte swiped the eyepatch from Falcon Eddie.

  18. fred Says:

    To me he looks like American film actor Charles McGraw.

  19. NomadUK Says:

    He’s clearly Jeff Daniels, and here he’s changed into something less comfortable.

  20. Tat Wood Says:

    @Fred, I can see where you’re coming from but I stand by my original identfication*…. unless maybe it’s Charles Napier c. 2002 revisiting his ‘Star Trek’ role but – mercifully – dressed like one of the other Space Hippies.

    (* in the event of another Frankie Goes to Hollywood record, you and your family must hide.)

  21. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @JJYoyo: THAT’S the nagging familiarity that I couldn’t quite place.
    This cover is campy enough, Moore would have delivered the pretentious OTT dialogue expertly, with bad puns and dad jokes.

    A smidge too bull-necked for Sir Rog, though. @fred may be on to something with the McGraw idea. And at least he was working in Doc’s very late era; he could have done it in the 50s as a B-movie.

    @Bruce: The phrase “flogging a dead horse” comes to mind. But that seems to be the raison d’etre of the publisher. Old or pseudo-old pulps, now in hardcover. New Wild, as the subtitle says.

    Wiki sez the originator, Lester Dent, thought Doc “manifested Christliness”. Sure. We all love those books of the Bible where Jesus and the apostles roamed the world killing tons of people. Plus JC wouldn’t even need a boat!

    Also, belated GSS for your comment #1.

    Side note: I thought Doc was blond? Is he, in the olde-tymey racist way of pulps, dyeing it here and growing the queue to pass as Chinese? Because, y’know, Chinese people aren’t stupid and wouldn’t really be fooled by that.

  22. Hammy Says:

    @GSSxn, JJYoYo: It took me a bit to see the SirRog connection, even after it was mentioned. It’s the chin, I’d say, that’s Moore-ish.

  23. Tracy Says:

    I was thinking Robert Mitchum (?) as Dr. Evil’s right-hand man.

    Did Doc Hulk out? Is that why his orange shirt is split and he’s holding himself so tensely with his veins-a-poppin’ ? (That should be a tag line)

    He looks mightly sad and regretful that the other ship caught on fire before he could invade it in a manly-man way. That brown stain in the sea behind the other ship suggests it’s also dumped all its toilet waste behind it.

    Artwise, am I the only one who notices the artist must have run out of time to paint the lower third of the cover? It’s way less detailed and crisp than the upper half, and the perspective of the ship’s plank makes no sense.

  24. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tracy: Doc makes entire ships crap in fear!

    Possibly he tore his own shirt to show off his manly manliness. I agree, veins a’poppin’ would be a great tag for this and a lot of the Faux-nan/Tar-sham guys.

    The artist spent too much time on Doc’s veins, shirt and jewelry; by the time he got to the bottom he could only do a suggestion of wood and some blurry Hammer pants.

  25. Tat Wood Says:

    Robert Wagner, surely? Or Rob Lowe. Mitchum was long dead by then and would have improved the films no end.

  26. Tracy Says:

    Yes, Robert Wagner.

  27. A. R. Yngve Says:

    Consider this man’s loneliness. There he stands, all by himself, out on the sea, tense and yet sad. The artist botched the action, but he did capture the tragedy.

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