Feb 22

Bad Shit

Emster Comments: Oh gross! Dragon breath!

Published 2000

Actually, that cover IS a classical work of art!I would touch it without protective gloves.I've seen worse. Far, far, worse.Interesting, but I would still read it in public.Middlng: Neither awful nor awfully goodWould not like to be seen reading that!Awful... just awful...That belongs in a gold-lame picture frame!Gah... my eyes are burning! Feels so good!Good Show Sir! (Average: 5.00 out of 10)

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20 Responses to “Mad Ship”

  1. Tat Wood Says:

    They carved a masthead of ‘Ram’-era Paul McCartney looking away in horror just in case it had to witness cruelty to animals. They do know he ran a sheep-farm then, don’t they?

  2. fred Says:

    Not the Reptilicus cover we wanted, but it’s the Reptilicus cover we need.

  3. Francis Boyle Says:

    I didn’t realise fighting monsters via the medium of interpretive dance was a thing.

  4. Bibliomancer Says:

    Worst Tom Swift cover ever.

  5. fred Says:

    This cover worships ship.

  6. Tor Mented Says:

    @Bibliomancer: Yes, but at least we finally got The Black Dragon.

  7. Tor Mented Says:


  8. Bruce A Munro Says:

    This Elveship is a D+, a C- at best.

  9. Bruce A Munro Says:

    Liveship. Not Elveship. Need some new glasses. Or they need a new font.

  10. GSS ex-noob Says:

    You don’t often see a figurehead in the shape (or indeed the person) of a man. One wonders.

    Is the figurehead afraid of sea monsters (which makes him no good on a ship), or just opposed to violence (same). Is he mad as in crazy? Or is he mad as in angry about annoyed about having to be on the bow, unable to walk around and always getting smacked in the face by the sea, not to mention the weird pecs? Is he secretly hoping young No-Shirt there gets eaten?

    @Bruce: Boat owned by the Elveship Graders.

  11. MaxBathroom Says:

    The urge to start singing “The Good Ship Venus” is almost overwhelming…

  12. B. Chiclitz Says:

    Excellent use of weird pecs tag.

  13. Tor Mented Says:

    I am having a difficult time figuring out the ship’s shape.
    I assume the figurehead is in the usually position on the prow under the bowsprit. But I don’t know what all that boaty stuff is around the dangling Michael Jackson with the spear. It almost looks like another ship ramming the one in front.

  14. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tor: It may be just bad perspective, although even that doesn’t explain it.

    I suppose it’s just a Mad (crazy) Ship in more ways than one.

  15. fred Says:

    I believe the ship in front is cutting across the rear of the ship in back.
    If the figurehead’s cloak was put there for ‘modesty’, the liveship should be beyond mad.

  16. Tor Mented Says:

    @Fred. I think you’re right, though I still don’t understand the configuration under Michael Jackson’s feet.

  17. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tor: I can’t either, unless it’s the other half of Mad Ship’s hull, like if it’s coming straight at us, and the figurehead and Michael are at weird angles to that. Or the boaty stuff is a smaller craft what’s run into the ship thanks to the monster.

    Possibly the parallel black lines under MJ’s feet are magickal water skis in case he falls. Although I’m not sure about his “one foot tangled in the net” stance.

  18. Bruce A Munro Says:

    The Liveship was quite mad: it kept seeing imaginary sea serpents and feeling little Michael Jacksons crawling over its hull.

  19. Tat Wood Says:

    Macca’s teling Jacko: don’t waste your time/ because the dragon skull is mine.

  20. GSS ex-noob Says:

    @Tat: GSS! Perfection, bringing together your first comment and subsequent others.

    (Mind you, a lot of people didn’t believe that song, as even back then everyone knew Macca had pulled a lot more girls than MJ.)

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